


For the love of Camelot

by Maarten



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Classical Music, F/F, F/M, Gay Male Character, M/M, Married Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon - Freeform, Merthur - Freeform, merthurian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-01-11 19:37:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 48,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18430709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maarten/pseuds/Maarten
Summary: Merlin Emrys, the promising countertenor, gets an opportunity to work with the world famous conductor Arthur Pendragon. They seem a perfect match, to others, that is. A lot of his friends are musicians in the Albion Orchestra, founded by Arthur and his sister, the lavishing Soprano Morgana, in his Camelot Music Hall in London. How close will they all become? Can Merlin keep his magic secret when there is the need for it? How is the life of Mordred intertwined with them? What is holding Arthur in performing some specific composers and pieces? Why is the Triangle so important in restoring the balance in the world? When life itself becomes a threat destiny calls, to all of them. If only they would listen.





	1. First Encounter

The young tall countertenor tumbled out of the cab, almost forgot his music, which he didn't need anyway. His music books kept his hands from wandering. At least one hand. With the other, he tried to smooth his clotted black hair in nervous gestures. He tripped almost over his own long legs, running to the impressive Camelot Music Hall, knowing he was late. At the artist's entry, he stumbled into an even taller man, tall as a basketball player, with the look of that of a football player. "Ho, ho, young man', Percival shouted, "where do you think you are going?" He held him in a firm grip, looked at him with a curious expression and added; "Mr blue-eye?." "So sorry", he mumbled, "I er, I am late for the recording of..." "Ah, you must be Mr Emrys hm? Nice! Mr conductor is not particularly fond of divas keeping him waiting. But, I'll sneak you in, since my friend Gwaine seems to like you"

Merlin followed the handsome caretaker into the basement and up to the scenes. Gwaine played bass in the orchestra and in his free time he accompanied Merlin as a jazz singer. During the last year, since Merlins return to London, they had become good friends. They were greeted upstairs by a rumble of voices and instruments being tuned up. Merlin thanked Percival and ducked for the first row, unnoticed he hoped, to meet his friend Gwen, first violinist of the Albion Orchestra. She rolled her eyes to him for being late, as always, but hugged him in a warm motherly way. "You can do this", she whispered. "I know", he sighed, "I know, if only my body would believe it too!" She showed him his music stand and the technician adjusted the microphones. He waved to Gaius, his uncle, who was standing in the technician stand. Normally he played the clarinet but had no role in this recording. He was here because he was responsible for the condition of the instruments of all members of the orchestra. Merlin remembered spending a lot of his childhood vacations in his workplace in the basement. Slowly the noise went down and fell complete silent the moment their conductor energetically jumped to his central position. He looked at his orchestra members one by one and stopped with one eyebrow raised at Merlin. "Who the hell are you, young man", Arthur Pendragon shouted.

Merlin blushed and stuttered something when he looked at the non-worldly handsome conductor, his blond hair a mess, his gorgeous blue eyes staring at him. Suddenly he felt his magic tingling under his skin. He could only think that he wanted to kiss those lips. Gwen came to his rescue; "He is your stand-in since your soloist couldn't make it today. I told you about him. He is my good friend Merlin". "Ah. Oh, er, yes, of course", he grunted. "Well, er, welcome, I think." The intense stare continued. Merlin started to feel more uncomfortable if that was even possible. "Merlin", Arthur finally said, "there better be some magic in your voice then. Never heard of you and we do not have much time to practice, so you better be good at it". That was just all Merlin needed to lose what little was left of his self-confidence. "Prat", he mumbled. To his utter shock, his microphone was on. A somewhat awkward silence fell, some members of the orchestra coughed. Merlin blushed again and hoped the earth would open and swallow him now. Arthur Pendragon roared with laughter, to his surprise and relief. "I heard that. You idiot." Merlin sighed, hoped it all would be over soon and tried to concentrate on his breath. He fumbled with his ear monitor. The song they were about to record, Eternal source of light, composed by Handel was quite restraining and took good breath control. He knew it by heart. The only reason he was happy to have his music with him was to avoid looking at that Pendragon conductor. He hated him already. Clearly, the rumours were true. And yet, he couldn't not look at him. Handsome beyond belief he felt he already was head over heels. He had to put those thoughts, those feelings away right here and right now to be able to give some professional performance. Or be filed forever in the dungeons of the Pendragons as 'not good enough'.

He still felt his magics reassuring presence through his body and he surrendered, as always completely to the music. His voice was clear from the first note, pure, pristine. Immaculate and strong. Once he was singing he forgot the world around him, comfortable and confident.

His eyes still closed when the last note faded. It kept silent. Then members of the orchestra cheered over his performance. He had not expected it. Even Arthur nodded. "Okay, so you CAN sing. That's good. How did you like it yourself?"

"Fine, I think." His professional confidence took over. "Only I would like it a little bit slower and I feel I want to stand next to the trumpeter as to me this piece is kind of a duet for the singer and the trumpet." Arthur raised his eyebrows. Gaius stared at him in surprise. Gwen smiled kind of proud and looked at Arthur. "I was under the belief I was conducting here", he said bluntly, "but if you want to take over on your first day it is fine by me." They stared at each other, for a long time like primates over territory.

"You're the one who asked how I liked it myself", Merlin snapped, shrugging, still staring back. "Yes. Right." Arthur was the first to blink. "Will, Gwen, arrange it as his young master said." There was a hustle of noise when their places were rearranged in the orchestra. "Must you really be that stubborn?" Gaius asked his nephew.  
Merlin smiled faintly to Gaius. "What did you think? I'd change overnight?" His uncle sighed and responded: "I love you too, but keeping a bit low profile would make things easier for you."

All this time Arthur's look followed every move he made, although he was making conversations with his musicians and giving directions every now and then. Merlin could feel his eyes as if he was actually touching him. He wondered if he made him angry. Being a world-famous conductor, dominant by nature and nurture, and a Pendragon on top of it, he might not be used to a soloist speaking up to him, although he would have to put up with diva-behaviour every now and then.

Little did he care. He only wanted to sing on his own conditions. Although gifted with the most beautiful voice he still was not known out of London because of his behaviour. And he did not mind. He sang in a few jazz clubs to pay the bills, and he loved doing it, especially since he met Gwaine, the sympathetic and gifted bass player, who also had a beautiful voice. Every now and then he had a part in the well-known oratories around the holidays or easter. He was volunteering in summer music schools and did singing projects at the conservatory. Quite happy with his life, his friends Gwen, Will and Gwaine, he lived with his uncle Gaius in a nice spacious Kensington house. Gaius who taught him everything. On Mondays and Tuesdays, he volunteered in the Kensington hospital at the children's Oncology. He was magic with kids who were sometimes deadly ill. Not only because of his well-kept secret in performing actual magic but also for his ability to really listen too and comfort the young patients.

Despite his rather outspoken beliefs on singing and performing, he sometimes longed for the big stages. Specifically longing to work with a conductor who understood his needs and his abilities. Gwen believed Arthur could be that one.

"Take two", he heard Arthur announce. He took his position, close now to the young, dark-skinned trumpeter, who introduced himself as Elyan. "Ah, you are Gwen's brother. Heard a lot about you. Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you too. Always love a brave soloist", he winked.

The music started. Merlin looked solely at Elyan while singing, who looked back as intense. Their stare gave their performance even more soul, a real duet, pure for the love of music. Arthur took it just a little bit slower than the first take. It was over before he knew it. He felt it was perfect, never had been closer to it. A great relief came over him while he gathered his things and strolled over to Gwen. She beamed at him. "You were wonderful dear", and she kissed him on his cheek.

" _Mer_ lin", Arthur came in their direction, "In my office!" Merlin turned around, raised one eyebrow and said: "I beg your pardon?" Arthur sighed, bent his head and said; "Please? We need to talk. Now" "Kay", Merlin responded and followed him waving to Gwen en Gaius. They went silent next to each other through the long corridors to his office. "Close the door behind you", Arthur commanded upon entering the extensive luxury room. A pompous grey desk, some exotic plants, comfy chairs and one wall of only glass, looking out over London. No pictures, paintings or art. "Impressive", said Merlin. "Yeah, whatever'" Arthur sat on the corner of his desk, arms folded and browses frowned. "Are you always directing your conductor? Merlin sighed en fumbled himself in one of the comfy chairs opposite Arthur's desk. He stared at Arthur, who stared back, his jaws clenched. "Yes, I do", nodded Merlin in a soft voice, "whenever I know what I am talking about." "Ha", sneered Arthur, "Mister Know It All. Idiot. You made a fool out of me, in front of my orchestra, on your first appearance. Might as well be your last."

Merlin shrugged. "Pity". "What am I going to do with you?" Arthur said in response. "I dunno", Merlin raised his eyebrows and said without thinking: 'What you have in mind?" Arthur gasped in astonishment, till he saw the little uncertain naughty light in his eyes. "I should throw you out and never work with you again. But, you have such an extraordinary voice, I would never forgive myself if I let you go." Merlin did not say a word. People complimented him every now and then. He was used to the laurel and praise of Gwen and his mother. But this was different. Besides being a demanding, dominant prat, Arthur was a well-known conductor, extremely musically talented. He founded and funded his own Music Hall, his own orchestra and choir. He was consulted all over the world. And although he rarely accepted it, he was constantly invited to conduct the famous orchestra's around the world. This arrogant bastard of a gifted conductor seriously complimenting him made him shiver with pride. Maybe for the first time in his entire life.

"But", Arthur continued, "you have to learn how to behave."

Merlin stood up and raised his voice: "Behave? Behave! I do what I want and I say what I want about my music." "Your music?" Arthur closed in on Merlin. Fierce. "When I am conducting it is MY music, _I_ am responsible for the interpretation. Not you, idiot. You just perform as I want you to." Merlin held his breath. He wanted to shout more to this arrogant prick and at the same time he was crushed with the handsome looks of him, even more now he was angry and so close. To close. He had to back away or kiss those angry lips. Merlin backed away, blushed by his thoughts. He turned around, leapt for the window. Always so angry when people told him what to do and how to behave. His magic buzzed with his anger.

"I could make you famous with one single signature", Arthur finally said after a long silence. Merlin turned around. His eyes locked with Arthurs.*

"I could make you lose all this with less than that", Merlin responded in a whisper and started to walk out of the office.

" _Mer_ lin", Arthur sounded still angry and arrogant but with a kind of sudden despair, Merlin could feel it. "I need your voice", he said. Merlin stopped, hesitated. Arthur threw his hands in the air. "I have worked with many soloists, many countertenors as yourself. All fine voices, professional, skilful, yet, er, they missed something. The magic I am looking for in singers. People say I am too demanding, to much a perfectionist. But I am not! Because I found my magic voice. You Merlin. You,"

Merlin rediscovered he could breathe after this, this litany. He slowly walked to the door. Standing in the door he turned back to Arthur. He gestured with his long arms and his delicate hands. "I long for a stage like yours. I long to work with someone as gifted as you, mister Pendragon. I love what you do with your orchestra. I love what you do with music. But I can only give you my magic being equals, never subordinate."

"And then I walked away", said Merlin with a weary voice to Gaius. They were seated in his cosy kitchen after they cooked dinner together. Empty plates and an almost empty bottle of wine. The April sunset reddening the walls. Gaius had an expression of love and empathy on his wrinkled face and waited some more. "I am what I am", Merlin said, "I need to love what I do with all my heart. Not being told what to do and how to do it. I simply can't."

"I know', said Gaius and touched Merlin’s arm in a parental loving way. "I know, dear boy. Your talents are your destiny as well as your burden. We will see what happens in the next few days. Maybe I can talk to Arthur?" “Don’t bother”, Merlin said pensive, “I am not a beggar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only discovered the series of Merlin in the summer of 2018 when I was ill and Merlin distracted me from pain. The story stuck with me and then I found fanfiction and read every single fanfiction story there was to read and loving it. Once I got my health back and even on a regular job, I decided, or my heart did, It was time to take part in this tale. I started out in Dutch and it didn't work. I started again in English, my second language, and it flows. You will recognise certain things when you know the series 'Merlin'. But not all is canon. Forgive me for grammarly mistakes. I hope you like the story.
> 
> * It's the keynote out of the series of Merlin (BBC) when Prince Arthur met Merlin for the first time.  
> Eternal source of light divine, G.F. Haendel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCSQd8Nx4mI


	2. Meeting again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet again, Merlin and Arthur in totally different circumstances. That's what grief does, even if you are a Pendragon.

Nothing really happened that week. Merlin ended with a busy weekend. Performing two nights in the classy JazzClub with Gwaine and sleeping in during Saturday and Sunday. They had a new routine with the oldfashioned songs, like Summertime, Can't buy me love and Almost Blue. Gwaine singing second voice with his beautiful baritone, That's why people were coming back, every season they took on a new program. Gwaine and he had a special musical connection. They never rehearsed. Every now and then they had an evening to compile a new routine and that was it. They sang and played by heart, by intuition, often improvising. Afterwards, late Saturday night, behind a glass of beer, Gwaine told Merlin he was very impressed with his appearance in Camelot. "I mean, I knew you have a nice voice, but this was a totally different league. It was splendid. I had to really concentrate on my playing because all I really wanted to do was to listen to you." Merlin grinned modestly. "It is wonderful music to perform and you all are great musicians." "Any chance you are going to work with us more?" The question floated in the air for a long time. Merlin sipped his beer. "What? Don't tell me Mr Pendragon wasn't happy with you?" Merlin waved with his hands."We will see what happens. He thinks I am an idiot and I think he is a prat. So..." Gwaine just nodded and he knew Merlin well enough not to ask more.

Gwen, on the other hand, had phoned and texted him almost every day since the recording. They almost got to the point that they became angry with each other. "You two are such a good match, you know. Musically and....and more. Go talk to him." But Merlin wouldn't. Her latest message was: _I don't want to fight with the lovely and stubborn man you are_. Merlin knew he was putting down a great opportunity, once in a lifetime. And yet he felt he had to stay true to himself. His conditions were not that extreme, where they?

That Monday, he arrived early at the Kensington children's hospital with his usual bag full of books and other playful things. On his way, to the hospital, he picked up a parcel at the post office, containing a new book 'The Promised Land' the first fairytale with gay characters and he was happily reading it while entering the hospital when he bumped into someone and his books fell on the floor. He stumbled and fell to. "He, you idiot", he heard an angry voice, "look where you going." He knew that voice. He couldn't believe it. He looked up while gathering his books. Yes. It was Arthur Pendragon. "What on earth are you doing here?", he asked when he stood on his feet again. " _Mer_ lin! What are _you_ doing here?" Arthur shouted back. "I, er, work with some of the patients here." Arthur raised his eyebrows. He was paler since he saw him last week in Camelot Music Hall, he looked like he didn't get much sleep either. He stared at his feet, frowning. "My eh, little brother is sick." He pushed his tangled hair from his face. "Don't you dare come near him", he suddenly hissed and ran out of the door, leaving Merlin in shock. This particular part of the hospital was only for children with cancer. He didn't even know there was a younger Pendragon? It must have been awful for Arthur to have a family member with that dreadful disease. He bit his lip and walked to the counter. Rose greeted him with a yawn. "Sorry dear, it was a hell of a night and it still isn't over." "I am sorry", Merlin responded, "but would you be as sweet as to look if you have a young Pendragon in here? I was wondering if I could work with him today." "Sure, I saw you 'met' The Mister Pendragon yourself just now?" She smirked and Merlin rolled with his eyes. "Yep, I did. It's my speciality to bump into handsome men, so at least I get noticed." "Clever",  Rose winked. There is a Mordred Pendragon in 114D, just arrived last Wednesday, horrible surgeries. Only family and staff allowed. Well, you are staff, kind of? But I did not tell you." 

He saw his regular kids that morning.  They were sometimes in the hospital for months. They came in sick and sometimes got only worse. Every now and then one recovered, at least for the time being and went home. Or they died. That's how it was and would be unless they found a cure. Sometimes he would just sit next to their beds, holding hands, wiping tears, reading or telling stories. Whenever he was alone with them and they were in real pain, he carefully used his magic to diminish or even vanish their pain. His magic was as natural as breathing to him, although he kept it secret. He inherited the genes for magic from his father Balinor and his ancestors. He got his training from Gaius since his father left his mother when he was still very young. When he discovered his powers at a young age, he used it to heal animals in his village of Ealdor. Later on, he secretly healed people. Never had he used it to defend himself when he was bullied at school, or for protection. Never had he felt the urge to show off, making miracles happen. His uncle Gaius lovingly trained him in containing his power and had warned him for the combination of having a musical career being a wizard or a weirdo when people still judged others with his kind of talents. Still, no one knew and he liked it that way. In the hospital, they only said he did miracles with the kids and that was all they needed to know. He made the work easier for both nurses and doctors. He was perfectly happy with getting no recognition for it. His reward was the happy smile of the kid that felt pain fading away. That was all he needed. 

After lunch, he stepped into room 114D. A single room with one bed, some humming devices and a cosy corner piece. The walls were white and a lighter shade of blue. Similar to the eyes who were gazing at him. In fact, the eyes were the only thing Merlin could recognise he was a true Pendragon. With the same intensity as his older brother. "Hi", Merlin said and took a chair next to the bed. "Hi", whispered the boy, "are you a doctor?" "No", said Merlin with a big smile, "I am a wizard". "Oh", said the boy and closed his eyes. "I am Merlin. And you are?" His eyes opened. "You are Merlin? Do you know Arthur?" His voice sounded suddenly more vivid. "He told me he met the most beautiful singer in the world, named Merlin. So you are no wizard." Merlin blushed. Arthur talked about him to his younger brother? "Why are you blushing? Do you hate compliments as much as I do?" "Oh Yes", Merlin smiled. "hate it." Mordred closed his eyes again. "Are you in pain?" Mordred nodded. "Would you like me to help you with that?" He nodded again, too desperate to hesitate. "Tell me, where in your body do you feel that pain?" Mordred turned on his back moaning and pointed at his stomach. "Okay. Now, close your eyes, take a deep breath and try to relax." Merlin laid his hands on the blankets right at the place Mordred had shown him. He called for his magic and let it flow, slowly and just bit by bit from his hands into the belly of the boy. He could feel the pain already. Wounds. Damaged skin. Broken tissue. Injured muscles. He simply repaired inside his belly what would repair itself in the long run. Somewhat like speeding up the healing process and therefore diminish the pain. He helped the muscles around the wounds to relax. He also could feel and see what was left of a big tumour they had removed. There was nothing he could do about that. Sometimes he could stop it from growing for a while but he dared not yet to remove it or could he cure cancer. It seemed the cells of the disease did not listen to his magic. When he could do no more he let his magic energy float back into his own body and mind. Mordred stared at him with his eyes wide open. He sighed happily: "You are the wizard with the golden eyes. The pain is gone." "Good", said Merlin, "that's good. I am happy for you." With an almost faintly familiar Pendragon smile, on his face, the boy dozed off. After what Merlin did, the body needed lots of rest. He left a magic happy face on the cupboard and slipped out of Mordred's room. 

The day after, Rose warned him to not enter 114D, since a family member was with Mordred. "But you did miracles again to that boy." He forgot about Mordred as a lot of children consumed his attention during that day. But on his way home, long after five, he got a phone call. "Merlin", Arthur's voice. Merlin recognised it immediately and held his breath. "Mr Pendragon", he started. "We need to talk."Okay", Merlin answered, "shall I see you tomorrow morning, Mr Pendragon?" "I want to speak to you, now!" Silence. "Please?" Merlin felt he had been waiting for that single word just long enough to make Arthur say it. "Sure, Mr Pendragon, I will be there in 10 minutes." Arthur hung up without another word. Merlin turned his bike and peddled into the city again. Gaius waited for him at the door and accompanied him to Arthur's office. "Did you do something to Mordred?" He asked with a deep frown on his face. "Er, yeah, I did." "Were you aware that Arthur told you not to see the boy?" So that's what it would be about. Now he could forget about ever singing again in the Camelot Music Hall. Well. Pity. Helping Mordred was more important than his career. He would deal with it. Gaius saw a sudden change in the posture of his nephew. "Now put that stubborn chin of yours down, for god's sake." Merlin did not pay attention to Gaius anymore and entered Arthur's office without even knocking. Head held high and a friendly smile on his face. 

"What the heck? Don't you know people knock before they enter, you idiot." Merlin ignored him completely. He sat down in a chair opposite Arthur's desk and said: "You wanted to talk to me _now_ , Mr Pendragon?" Gaius apologized for his behaviour and took a seat next to Merlin. Arthur still looked tired and distracted. He played with Merlin's magic happy face card. He waved with it at Merlin and stood up. "You are one of a kind Merlin Emrys. Never, ever have I found such a stubborn idiot in my life." His voice was loud, just a snap away from shouting. "You are an arrogant disobedient bastard. You did not only turn down a generous opportunity I offered to you. You also did not listen when I explicitly told you not to come near my brother's." Beyond his sorrows and fierce, the dark shadows on his face, Merlin still thought he looked gorgeous. He couldn't help himself. He kept his friendly smile plastered on his face and looked calmly to the angry Arthur. "I could sue you for that', he pointed with his finger, now really shouting, "but I won't". He sat down again and put his face in his hands. He had a faint little blush and what seemed to be watery eyes, although it could be fatigue when he looked up. He raised and walked to the window leaning with one arm to it. Merlin approached him and sat on the window sill only an arm's length away. "I am not good in asking for help. And I am definitely not good at saying thank you. But", his voice was a whisper, "I do thank you, Mr Magic Merlin." It was a meaningful silence which lingered on. 

Finally, Arthur let himself down next to Merlin on the window sill. Gaius had left. "And, er, I need you." Merlin smiled in a kind of sad manner. "It's okay", he said, putting his hand on one of Arthur's shoulders, "it's okay. I'll be there for you and Mordred whenever you both need me." It was a totally different Arthur looking back now at Merlin. His face was a mess, his shoulders tense, but he had a thankful expression in his reddened eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summertime, Gershwin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnXLVTi_m_M  
> Can't buy me love, Lennon/McCartney https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ymTwboFgT0  
> Almost blue, Costello https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4PKzz81m5c


	3. Becoming partners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Merlin signs a contract and becomes a junior partner in the Camelot Music Hall. But a dark cloud is appearing.

**Chapter 3 Becoming partners**

He met Gaius en Gwen in the Italian restaurant in their neighbourhood as they did on a regular basis on Tuesdays. They were anxiously waiting to hear from him but already started with appetizers and wine. He wore a shut expression on his face, which Gaius knew all too well. He slipped in between his friends in the quiet corner of the place they always reserved and gulped down half a glass of his favourite red wine. Gaius raised his spectacular eyebrows and Gwen beamed at him. "Tell", Gwen exclaimed, what happened?" Merlin looked distracted at his friends and after a deep sigh he said: "I think I've said yes to working with Arthur." Gaius and Gwen oohed and aahed and congratulated him. "I am so happy', Gwen smiled, "for you and for us." After he ordered his pasta carbonara, Gwen her ravioli and Gaius his lamb, he filled them in, using staccato sentences, carefully leaving out some of the details and emotions. And although his friends could read between the lines, they respected his distant behaviour. They knew he must have been really touched to keep them at such a distance and they gave him time and space. Later that evening, they took their coffee outside around a nice firepit in the chilly April night to smoke elegant cigars Gaius offered them. An old habit, call it their ritual of bonding, which only they understood.

The next day Merlin was rather distracted. His music teacher Morgause was not pleased with him at all. He was not paying attention and she got really snappy. Halfway his singing lesson when he missed a note for the second time, she stopped and said he was of no use today. "Fine", he said, he hated her anyway, "let's call it a day. It will be the last day, to be honest with you, I don't like your classes and I will be to busy now to waste my time on this." She narrowed her eyes and cracked; "Hm. Well. If you think you have nothing to learn anymore, which I doubt, then let's not waste both our time." She didn't even say goodbye, just strode out the practice room with her frozen blond curls. Merlin smiled. It felt good to stop this. Her name, famous singer and dancer as she was in the singing world, looked good on his resume, but they didn't like each other from the beginning. Having some extra time now he decided to walk to the Camelot Music Hall. Arthur and he agreed to meet three-ish to talk about his contract in more detail and see what would happen from there on. He walked humming in the spring sun, his jacket in his bag. He was totally not aware of his unique beauty. His long legs, almost dancing, dressed in black, his black hair muddled by the light breeze. His pale skin, the fascinating dark blue eyes, the curves of his full lips, his attractive stubble. A fascinating combination of power and delicacy. Even Arthur's eyes were drawn to his figure when he saw him coming standing at his favourite place in front of the windows in his office. Despite himself, he smiled, knowing Merlin was coming his way. It must be his charisma. Like a magnet, Arthur felt drawn towards the singer as he had never been before to someone, male or female, although he considered him still a clumsy idiot. 

He met Morgana, Arthur's stepsister, on her way to Arthur's office, all ravishing beauty, dressed in dark green silk, her brown untamed hair in waves of curls around her shoulders. She was a famous soprano and assistant director and co-founder of the Camelot Music Hall. Being totally Morgana, she chooses to perform wherever she liked and it was not always with her brother. Every now and then she needed to travel and behave like a real diva. But she came always back in time to assist her brother and perform in his concerts whenever he wanted. They had daily calls when she was abroad and was able to handle a lot of work on her laptop. She was the walking PR for Camelot and she and Arthur complemented each other. Merlin had met her several times when they shared a stage. Despite her arrogance and diva behaviour, her sometimes bitchy talk, she was so lighthearted and loving and caring for her family and friends, that Merlin was happy to see her again. She hugged him wildly. "So, so very glad to meet you again, dearest Merlin." Merlin smiled and hugged her back. "Me too", he panted, "me too." "We have so much to talk about. And I am so happy and surprised you are going to work with us, with Arthur!" With their arms around each other, they walked in the direction of Arthur's office. "I am still surprised myself," confessed Merlin. "I can imagine", Morgana said. "But no worries, Arthur invited me and Gwen to this little meeting, so you are kind of shielded in case Mr Pendragon loses his temper with you." They both smiled and rolled their eyes. 

Arthur and Gwen were seated already on the couch. He hugged Gwen, shook hands with Arthur and he and Morgana joined them in the easy chairs. Morgana handed them coffee from a nice tray on the glass table in between them. Merlin was never able to sit quietly for a long time and while sipping on his coffee he swung one of his long legs over the armrest. Arthur's eyebrows raised. "He never sits long, you better get used to it", Gwen said. "Sorry', Merlin blushed, "I can't concentrate if I don't move a bit." Well, that was a great start, he thought, but Arthur grinned. "You are a pacer yourself dear brother", Morgana said. "I am not", Arthur started, "well, ok, sometimes I do yes, I think. Anyway, thank you for coming, Merlin, and thank you for joining Camelot. I have had Parcival make you a contract with my conditions and your salary and things." He picked some papers from the table. "Maybe you have a look at it, sign it and we can carry on." Merlin took the papers. "Oh, and please call me Arthur." He nodded and looked at the papers which were more than an average contract for any employer. His salary was nice, very nice. And he would be a junior partner in the Camelot Music Organisation. At least he could skip some of his jobs to fully concentrate on singing and working with Arthur. In the meantime, Arthur talked with Gwen and Morgana about the coming season. They had only a series in May and then they closed for the summer. 

"The contract is fine", said Merlin, walking through the office while reading it, "the salary is good, as I expected. But", he hesitated, "what I am missing is how you and I will be working together." Arthur raised and gave him some other papers. "Yes, Merlin, I knew you would ask it so I made a kind of appendix to your contract. You are the first singer I will be working with as a partner so you better agree to it." Merlin tried not to feel the pressure in his words and took the papers and settled in the window sill. He would get his own room for practice and work, fully equipped, he could even sleep there. He was expected to be in the Camelot Music Hall as much as he could and in case of concerts also evenings and weekends. His input for coming concerts was highly appreciated, including attracting new talents. On top of it, he would have a consulting role for all the singers and musicians within Camelot, as well as the guest musicians, experiencing any problems in performing. 

"Wow", he said, finally. He walked back to Arthur and said: "Thank you so much for this. Only one question; what am I supposed to do when there are no rehearsals and concerts?" Arthur looked at him and smiled with a little arrogance: "Well, I am looking forward to putting together wonderful programs with you and I hope to hear you sing in them a lot. But I also need someone to boss around. I think that's only fair since you are our junior partner. That's what I call equal. We will both have our share of fun, you idiot" Merlin gasped at first, looked at the grinning faces of Morgana and Gwen and then he noticed the little lights in the eyes of his new friend, er, boss, er, whatever. And the trembling in the corners of his mouth. He grinned, took Arthurs hand and said: "Fair enough. So, partners, it is. Deal." Morgana went to the small kitchen and came back with some champagne and flutes. 

After the champagne Arthur told Merlin they had dinner reservations to celebrate and to get to know each other better. They went to a nice French restaurant out of the city centre in Morgana's black four by four. It was all in good cheer, chatting and laughter. Merlin started to believe maybe, maybe Arthur was not such a prick at all. The restaurant was really over the top, typical Morgana's choice. Several people waved at her as she made her entry. The food was exquisite. They only nipped the wine and drank a lot of water, since it was a weekday and they were supportive of Morgana who had to drive them home later on. Arthur showed some genuine interest in Merlin's life and career and his ideas about music. Merlin told him about his longtime wish to perform Bach and Pergolesi with male voices. But suddenly Arthurs' face shut down and he backed off. Merlin stopped talking after noticing. What did he say wrong? Morgana and Gwen tried hard to make conversations after this but Arthur didn't get involved for some time. His phone rang and he went outside. When he came in again, he was deadly pale and his eyes watery. "It is Mordred. We have to go." They all jumped. Gwen should explain it to the waiter and then she would walk to Gaius. Merlin kissed her on the cheek and ran after Morgana, with a faint awareness of paparazzi taking pictures. He was just in time to jump in the back seat before Morgana drove as the she-devil she could be to the hospital. Arthur and he ran without looking at anyone or anything straight to 114D. The room was dimly lit, with a pale soft lighting, more buzzing of machines, two nurses and a doctor around the bed of an even paler Mordred. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Camelot Music Hall is founded and funded by Arthur Pendragon and his step-sister Morgana Le Fay. It has its own orchestra, the Albion Orchestra and Choir.


	4. Miracles happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Arthur and Merlin connected, something changed. There was no turning back for Merlin. He willingly made a choice that would start a lot more changes, even he couldn't foresee.

"We're losing him", the doctor said matter of factly. "No, you can't", Arthur shouted. "Do something!" "I am sorry, Mr Pendragon, we have done everything we can. The complications of the last surgery were too heavy on his body." Arthur dropped down on the bed and kissed his little brother on his pale forehead. Merlin felt tears roll down his cheek. His magic thundered in his body. But, he couldn't. Not here, not now. But he should. He couldn't let Mordred die. He went closer to the bed, his magic jerking like hell to be loosened. The nurses left. The doctor mumbled goodbyes and sorry and left too. Finally, Merlin could let his hands rest on Mordred's belly. Arthur didn't notice, he sobbed with his brothers head in his hand. He felt life already slowly slipping away from the body. He couldn't, he shouldn't. He knew it would change everything, forever. But he did. He released his magic. He found broken veins he could repair, he found new hurt tissues, injured muscles. Although he eyed calm, he worked frantically. So little time, so much to do. He found the tumour regrowing with deadly speed. He hesitated. What could he do? What did he have to lose? Everything, nothing. He knew if Mordred died, Arthur wouldn't want to live either, their lives intertwined. He isolated the tumour, cut it lose, his eyes glowed gold for a long time and slowly with immense power, draining all his energy, he drove cancer up in little isolated particles to the oesophagus without leaving behind not even the tiniest part.

"Arthur", he warned, "Mordred is going to throw up in a couple of minutes, so beware and help him." Arthur gasped at him in utter nonbelief. Merlin ran out of the room, grabbed the first nurse he saw and explained her as much as he could without telling what was really happening. The nurse entered the room together with a devastated Morgana. So much for waterproof mascara. Although the nurse did not believe him, she did what Merlin asked for. He was beaming with authority. She phoned the doctor and hurried with baskets and blankets and water. "What the hell are you doing?" Arthur almost broke, inches away from fighting. Morgana took him away towards the window. After tantalising minutes, Mordred stirred in his bed. His cheeks faintly blushed. The nurse looked from Merlin to her patient in disbelief. 

Then Mordred opened his eyes, looked at Merlin in a desperate way and started bulging and vomiting, horribly painful. It was too much for Arthur and Morgana and they went to the hall. Pretending he was helping the nurse he let his magic guide the whole process, protected the throat of the boy, even his vocal cords and in the same time repairing whatever needed to be healed in his belly. Mordred stopped after throwing up almost a full basket of stinking, black, bloody cancer cells. Even to Merlin, it was unbelievable. He had no idea what he was doing and what the consequences would be. He did not care. As long as Mordred would live, and Arthur would live. He even wondered if this was destiny calling. 

After the nurse cleaned up, the doctor came in. He carefully examined Mordred and had no words, no explanation of what had happened. When Arthur and Morgana came back, Mordred slept quietly, still very ill, but alive. Merlin, although deadly tired, was still working with his hands on the boy to release the last bits of pain. His eyes closed, his face was as pale as Mordred was an hour ago. He stopped and opened his eyes when he felt Morgana's hand on his shoulder. Arthur reached for his hand from the other side of the bed, his cheeks wet from his tears. "What the hell happened here, Merlin?" "I don't know exactly", Merlin said exhausted. "But he is alive! Miracles do happen from time to time." "Gaius is on his way to bring you home", Morgana said and kissed him on his head. "I do believe in miracles, yes, but I also believe that you had a greater part in it than we can comprehend. So, thank you." For Arthur, it took some time before he could believe what he saw. His expression on his tired face was one of disbelief, pure horror and grace. He kept looking from Mordred to Merlin and back. 

In a few minutes, Merlin got a message from Gaius he was waiting for him at the entrance. Merlin raised, he could barely walk, his whole body ached, but he put himself together somehow and greeted his friends with a long quiet hug. They promised to call him if there was any change. 

Merlin stumbled downstairs, drowsy and feeling disorientated. He fell into Gaius car, panting and moaning, but feeling sort of glorious and happy. Gaius looked at him, grabbed him and kissed him on his head. "You crazy moron, how I love you. I am so proud of you." They drove home in silence. Gaius had to practically carry him inside and put him on the couch, close to the fireplace as the night was cold. Gwen came out of the kitchen with a blanket and hot soup. She put a hand on his shoulders. "You can sleep later as long as you need, but first you have to eat." Merlin leaned in on Gaius while Gwen was feeding him. He wasn't hungry, but his body was and needed nutrition. 

Merlin slept till late the next Thursday morning. He felt better but his body still ached. He could hardly feel his magic as if the source was drained. His mind was blurry. With the motoric skills of a toddler, he crippled out of bed and sat for over half an hour in the shower. After that, he felt better, like the first day after the flu. He took lots of strong hot coffee slowly brewed in the only modern machine in Gaius kitchen. He found apps from Arthur, saying Mordred slept well and according to the doctors he was miraculously recovering. Morgana asked him if he could convince Arthur to get some sleep. And Gaius told him he could call him at any time if he needed him or wanted to go somewhere. He rang Gaius. "I want to drag Arthur to bed." "To sleep, I assume?" Merlin grinned. "Gaius!" "Ok, ok. Sorry. I'll bring you to the hospital. I'll be there in 10." 

The curtains in Mordred's room were open. There were no machines buzzing. He was only on a drip for fluids and painkillers. Morgana sat in the window sill, working on her laptop. She had slept little but apparently showered and changed in comfy black clothes. Arthur was a wreck, his pale face looked grey, dark shadows under his eyes. He still was on his seat next to his sleeping brother. He held one of his hands. He smiled wearily when he greeted him. Merlin examined Mordred, who regained some colour on his hollow face. He breathed calmly and had no fever and seemed to be in no pain anymore. "He is all well", said Merlin. Arthur nodded. "Good. Then I am bringing you to bed." "You are not, you idiot", Arthur objected. "O Yes, I am, you prickhead." He simply took him by the arm and started dragging him out of the room. Morgana smiled gratefully to him. Arthur was too tired to resist and could hardly walk properly. He put his arm around Merlin's shoulders and together they stumbled out of the hospital. Merlin chuckled, despite the situation. It looked like he brought a drunken friend home. Arthur was heavy, but the touch of his body released also butterflies in his belly. He shook those feelings off. It would never happen. He was just helping his new boss, his friend now. That's as good as it would get. With the help of Gaius, they put Arthur in the back seat where he immediately fell asleep. As soon as they arrived at the Camelot Music Hall, Percival took over and like Arthur was a feather, he lifted him in both his arms. Gaius went back to work and Merlin accompanied Percival upstairs to Arthur's penthouse on the top floor of the building. 

Percival lifted him carefully on his bed. They didn't bother to undress him and just tucked him in with a fluffy blanket from the foot. "I guess you will take care of him?" Merlin nodded to the caretaker and he left them alone. Merlin stood a while, just looking at Arthur sleeping. He realised he could look at him for hours, the now relaxed face, the full lips, slightly parted, his tangled blond hair. He had to pull himself away and closed the curtains partly so the sunrays wouldn't bother him. He wandered around the house. The master bedroom was painted blue, the bed, on the contrary, was made in autumn colours. Opposite the windows was a large bathroom in grey and white colours, with stunning ferns growing. The living area was huge and yet cosy, although there were no pictures or paintings. Only lots of shelves, loaded with books. At the windows was an old, comfortable couch, with blankets and pillows. All was tidy but not sterile. The centrepiece of the room was a solid round dinner table, where you could seat twelve people easily, with a large vase with fresh flowers. An open kitchen, with cooking isle, completed it all. From the living area, he walked into an even bigger space. Definitely Arthur's music room, with a grand piano among other instruments, and music books all over the place, even piled on the floor. A kind of drawing table, covered with handwritten music sheets was at the window side. Was Arthur composing? Interesting what you could learn about someone by seeing his house. Next to the music room was a small apartment, it looked like a rarely used guestroom. The last room, however, was something completely different. Pictures of famous classical singers and musicians were plastered on all the walls. The cluttered bed with a Harry Potter duvet. A small piano. Books from music to science, from sheet music to comics. Could Mordred live with Arthur? So little did he know about the life of his new friends, or colleagues. He checked on Arthur who was still sleeping and snoring like a child. It was tempting to lay down next to him, but he knew he would fall asleep too. And he didn't know how Arthur would react, waking next to Merlin. 

He kept himself busy in the well-equipped kitchen. Opening cupboards and drawers, trying to make as little noise as he could. The fridge was filled with fresh vegetables, meat and fruits. There was a lot of chicken in that fridge, Arthur must be fond of it. He decided to take the poultry and started to make chicken soup. Everything he needed for it was there. From the cooking-isle, he could look into the bedroom to check on Arthur. With the soup simmering next to him on the stove, he sat on one of the stools, stirring occasionally, looking through his emails and chats on his old note 4. His mother was texting him in capitals. She read an announcement in the national newspaper about his new position as a junior partner of Arthur Pendragon. He grinned at her almost shouting texts. Will was texting worried about a photo in a tabloid with their black car driving full speed from the restaurant. Merlin filled him in. Will could not resist writing how fast he was going to get involved in Arthur's life, with a lot of smileys and hearts. Merlin did not answer that one. He was enjoying the peaceful silence and the spectacular view over London, sipping bottled water from the fridge. Strangely feeling at home in this new place. At some point, at the end of the afternoon, he was done answering his emails, the soup was thickening and Arthur woke up, groaning and moaning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lives of Arthur, Merlin and Mordred are intertwined. If the emotional connection is made, as it has, there is a triangular cord restored with a lot of consequences.


	5. Partners and friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mordred is recovering. Merlin's first day at the office is quite successful. It is a kind of lightheaded chapter. So you can breathe.

Arthur sat on his bed. He startled discovering Merlin standing in the doorway. "What're you doing here?" "Taking care of you, as good friends do". "So", Arthur sighed, "we're friends now?" He raised. "I'm going back to the hospital." "No, you are not, mister Pendragon. You will take a shower and change your clothes. When you are ready I will serve you dinner. After that, I will drive you to the hospital." Arthur frowned. "In case you didn't notice, I am in my own house and I can do as I please." "Sure", nodded Merlin. "So take a shower first, ok?" He turned around, leaving Arthur mumbling and stumbling. slamming his bedroom door. But finally, he went into the shower. Merlin hummed contented and set the table with the nice China bowls he found in the kitchen. Not much later he was stunned when Arthur entered the kitchen, barefoot, his hair wet, in old jeans and a rugged sweater. It was so completely different from his usual clothing. It made him look younger, even a bit fragile, although Merlin would never mention that to him and even more attractive. "Do I smell chicken soup?"He asked surprised. Merlin filled the bowls. Arthur immediately started eating. "Its the best chicken soup I have ever eaten, Merlin", he said after his second bowl. "Maybe I should have hired you as my personal cook". Merlin bowed, "it's my pleasure." Arthur raised, grabbed some socks, put on his sneakers and started looking for his car keys. "Looking for this?", Merlin waved the keys in front of him. "Show me your car and will drive you to Mordred." Arthur jumped on Merlin and started to fight for the keys. He was stronger, but Merlin was faster. They struggled and giggled as boys do at a certain age. Finally, Arthur gave in. He patted Merlin on the back of his head and grumbled; "Fine, I let you win. You drive. Now." They went with the elevator all the way down to the parking garage below the building. The red Range Rover was in the private area, along with an old Mercedes and a sports car. "Cool", said Merlin and jumped at the driver's seat as if it wasn't the first time in his life. Arthur sat silently next to him, the whole ride, his sunglasses on, reading on his phone. "I really have to get back to work tomorrow", he sighed when Merlin had found a parking spot at the hospital entrance. 

Walking in the corridor they heard laughter coming from Mordred's room. He was sitting up, colours on his cheeks. Morgana was sitting on his bed, a big smile on her tired face. "Arthur!", Mordred shouted. They hugged each other, as only brothers can. He stared at Merlin and asked shyly if he could hug him too. Merlin was touched and they hugged silently. After that, Mordred pointed out to Merlin; "You are truly a wizard." He blushed and shrugged. "Will you stay with us forever?" "You better be careful with promising to Mordred", Morgana said before leaving them, "he will keep you at it. And I mean, forever." Merlin blinked some tears away. He looked at Arthur who stared at him intensely. He looked back into the hopeful eyes of Mordred. He offered him his hand and said; "I will. Forever." Satisfied he fell back into his cushions, already tired again. "Now sleep, my little friend", Arthur said in the most caring tone, we will stay by your side for a while. He fell asleep with one hand in Arthur's and one in Merlin's. 

After a while, they started to talk, keeping their voices low. "Tell me about your little brother, Arthur. I am already very fond of him but I know nothing about him." Arthur nodded pensively. "He's one of a kind. Wouldn't know what to do without him." He rubbed his face. "My father moved to America several years ago. Mordred couldn't settle in Washington so after half a year he asked if Morgana and I would be willing to take care of him. We were so happy. He has a room with me and one with Morgana. He can go where ever he wants to stay. He's only fourteen years old now, but already full time in his third year of the conservatory, studying piano and singing. He had a wonderful voice before it broke. Every now and then he plays in my orchestra. He has a dazzling talent for music. He can play a piece after hearing it once." Arthur stopped, looked at his brother, peacefully sleeping now. "Socially he is very shy, that is, in a certain way. He is never really outgoing. He can stare at people and then suddenly say something very blunt, but to the point." Arthur grinned. "Before you speak, Merlin, yes it runs in the family." They both smiled. "He must be very fond of you too because he does not trust people easily." They fell silent in a nice way. When the night fell Arthur raised and stood at the window. "A month ago, Mordred came home having a belly ache. I first didn't take it seriously. He is such a sensitive boy. He feels everything around him. But that night he vomited blood. We went to the hospital and they discovered a huge tumour in his belly, growing at abnormal speed. Well, the rest you know."

Mordred woke a bit around eleven. He went to the toilet, shakingly but all by himself. He got some painkillers, brought by the nurse. After that, Arthur kissed him on the head and told him: "You sleep, my little friend. We will be back tomorrow." The boy stretched his arms to Merlin and he hugged him goodnight. He was asleep again before they left his room. Arthur drove Merlin home. When they stopped before Gaius apartment, Arthur put his hand on Merlin's knee. Merlin felt he blushed heavily, he was glad it was pretty dark in the car. His hand felt strong and warm. "Merlin, I don't know how and why you came into my life but I am grateful for it. It sure was the right moment." Merlin nodded and looked at Arthurs face in passing car lights. Not knowing how to respond, wanting this moment to last forever. "I will be at Camelot tomorrow to help you out", he finally said. "Arthur nodded. "That would be great, see you tomorrow." When Merlin walked to his home Arthur yelled through the open window to him: "And _Mer_ lin, I drink my coffee black and strong."

To his own surprise, he found himself at the Camelot Music Hall at 08.30 sharp with a white mocca and a double espresso from a nearby Starbucks and some doughnuts. Arthur was already in his office, making telephone calls and answering emails, trying to catch up. Huge whiteboards took up one wall. He put Arthurs coffee in front of him, spread out the doughnuts and sipped on his mocca looking at the coming season scribbled out on the whiteboards. Every now and then, Percival or Gaius and Gwen came in and added something to the planning or changed things. A lot was going on in the building. In between phone calls, Arthur swallowed his coffee and some doughnuts and explained what they were doing. Their new musical agenda for the next season, starting in September, must be delivered to the newspapers by Monday and they always put it together last minute. "I do try to keep an overview, but I always miss certain things. That's why everybody looks it over several times. In fact, Morgana has started with it last night. By tomorrow we will have put together all the bits and I can start making an official agenda for the printer. But maybe you can make a start with it?" Merlin nodded. He went to his own office next to Arthur's. He had all kind of keys and cards to open doors and systems. However, the doors zoomed open as soon as he approached them. It was an office and an apartment at the same time. It even had lots of windows with a view. There was a small balcony. A pretty comfortable bedroom with a bathroom. A nice sitting area with warm colours and pillows. Close to the windows was a huge desk with really everything you would need on a day at the office. In the corner was a small kitchen, with a stove and a fridge filled with basics. He took his laptop from the desk and returned to Arthur's office. He took one of the chairs and sat before the scheme. Arthur was still on the phone.

Merlin was quite a nerd concerning computers. The sophisticated systems matched very well with some parts of his magic. It took him only an hour to find all the people working in Camelot. He connected all the different email systems and calendars and invented a new system. He gave every member of the music hall their own level of access. All had a kind of overview, even for the coming years with recurrent things. Some musicians would only see the concert agenda and when their rehearsals were planned. Others, like Gaius, Gwen and Percival, could also look into the other appointments and make little changes. They had also access to some of the files attached to certain meetings and dates. He gave Morgana and Arthur almost full access so they could see everybody and everything, they could also pull and put files and connect people for meetings. Only he could change the system behind it and he felt like a spider in a huge web. Then he connected all the dots of different agenda's, programs, lists and schemes he found in the Camelot computer system. 

Just before lunch, he secured his CMH Program with a thin but powerful layer of his magic when Arthur finally put down his phone and peeped over his shoulder. "I am sorry for being at the phone all morning but I think I am ready for you now. What is that?" He pointed at the CMH app, Merlin was adjusting it for the use on laptops as well as for different phones. "Well, that is your new app. I call it the Camelot Music Hall Program, CMHP. "Wow", Arthur said impressed. "Er, but what's it for exactly?" Well, Merlin started the app and in no time Arthur saw a clear overview for the year, starting today. It was all appointments and easily accessible schemes, lists and files. "Wow", he said again, looking astonished at his new junior partner. "Can I have it on my phone too?" Merlin nodded with a big smile. "Yep, in a few minutes, everyone will have a link for this app in their mail and they will be able to access it from every device, once they have obtained their password. Sometime this afternoon, when everybody is connected they will get a pop up to meet me at the concert hall and I can explain the ins and outs of the app to them. If that is ok with you?" "Cool! What about security?" "It is all taken care off. I will know immediately if someone from outside is trying to get into it. So no worries." 

Percival came in with lunch, shortly followed by Morgana, Gaius and Gwen. There was a wide range of sandwiches and juices. They told him they did it almost every day for any one of the staff who was in the building and they used it also as a kind of staff meeting, to catch up with things. Arthur filled them in on the schedule for next week with the last series for the season. "How about our schedule for the coming season?" Arthur smiled confidently at Morgana and said; "Well, we're done." "No way", Gwen exclaimed. "We only just started." Arthur pointed at Merlin. "Show them, you Nerd." Merlin chuckled and finished his tuna sandwich. With only a few entries on his phone, he activated the computer system and had the beamer zooming. The CMHP app appeared on one of the walls. He showed them the overall view for the next seasons as well as the details on how to use it. They were all very impressed with this unknown talent of his. "Does that mean I can start now to make the list for the printer?" Merlin shook his head. "No need to. We all six have a level of access that makes it possible to print anything you want from the app in any format you want." "Well, well", Gaius said, "what are we going to do with all that spare time dear Arthur?" "You could start all by answering your emails in time", Arthur snapped grinning. 

The rest of the afternoon, Merlin cleaned Arthur's desk being watched suspiciously by his boss. The piles of paper vanished in the bin. What Arthur needed, Merlin scanned into the app. He taught him also to get the agenda in the right format for the printer and send it to the printer's office by mail. "How did I manage al this time without you", Arthur exclaimed while patting his junior partner on his back head after the meeting with the staff and the musicians about the new app. "It means a lot to me, you know. Now I have my hands free this weekend. The hospital called that they might release Mordred tomorrow." "That's good, I'm glad for you." Merlin put an arm around his shoulder and they both had happy faces. 

They all met each other at five in front of the building in the almost warm summer evening. Friday afternoon, whenever possible they went to the grand cafe King's Haven, around the corner. They were well known, Merlin noticed and they were quietly seated in the back of the establishment in a half round nook. They were all chitchatting about the app and the improvements. Somehow Arthur was seated next to Merlin, their legs touched each other and made Merlin feel warm before he even had a drink. "There is a downside to this app, you Merlin Nerd", Percival said to them. Arthur grinned, he was still kind of playing with this new toy, as the app was to him. "What do you mean?" Morgana asked when all of their devices started humming and buzzing. "Ah", Gwen sighed, "I see what you mean. Arthur found a way to boss us around with that app." Even Merlin found his agenda filled with orders from Arthur for the next week. But other than that, when their drinks arrived, it was a happy closure of a hell of a week. 


	6. Mourning and marinating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin tells Arthur and Morgana about his musical dreams. Arthur reveals why he hates certain music. They cook dinner together. A black kitten has found a place in this household.

When they left for home, Arthur asked Merlin if he would like to come over this weekend to talk over the blank spots in the concert agenda. "I really want to know what you would like to perform with me." "Yeah, sure", Merlin said. He had the weekend off, no gigs, no performances and he had no plans. "Shall I make dinner for us and Mordred?" "Oh, I'd like that, if it's not too much for you?" "It is fine with me, I'll see you on Saturday afternoon." They said goodnight and he went with Gaius for the tube home. They had some leftovers from the other day and chatted happily in Gaius kitchen. Doors open, candles lit, it felt like summer although it was still April. "I think your first day went well, didn't it?" "Yes", Merlin agreed, "perfectly well. I didn't even have the time to meet you in the basement, I'm sorry." "No need to feel sorry. I am glad Arthur isn't so bad after all." Merlin sighed and looked at his uncle, happily sipping from his brandy. "He is arrogant, he is a prat but to me, that's all like a shield. Underneath he is so vulnerable, I can't tell you." "I think you are right, my boy. To me, he is behaving less bossy than to his sister, or even Gwen. Maybe it is because of my age but I hope it is because he knows he can trust me. You should be very careful, with both Arthur and Mordred. They are more alike than meets the eye. Once you gained their trust it is for life. But when they have the feeling you betrayed them you might as well be dead to them."

Saturday morning he was dripping naked from the shower when Arthur called him. Without any introduction, he happily shouted: "I am on my way to the hospital to fetch Mordred. So that you know. Oh, and Morgana will be there to tonight. Have to go now. See you." He hung up before Merlin even could say a word. He smiled and noticed even Arthur's enthusiastic voice on the phone gave him an erection. He wanked himself lying naked on his bed. After that, he told himself to get a grip. Arthur was his boss, becoming a good friend. That better be enough. For all Merlin knew, Arthur was as straight as one could be. 

He took his time to shop for groceries for Gaius and him and also carefully picked his vegetables and things at the market and fresh chicken of course for the dinner he would prepare that night. It took him quite some time to choose what to wear. Normally he would not even think about it and just put on what was clean and at hand. Now he had changed already three times and all his clothes were all over his room. He felt like a woman: _I have nothing to wear_. He grinned and put on his all-time favourite; black jeans and a black button-down shirt, which was his first choice half an hour ago. Red sneakers and a grey jacket completed it. 

With bags full of groceries he drove to Arthur's place in his old Mini Cooper. Although he had to fold himself to get inside, he loved his old ragged car. His card gave him entrance to the parking garage at the Music Hall. The elevator zoomed him al the way up to the top floor. He knocked and almost immediately Mordred opened the door and clung his arms around Merlin. He dropped his bags and stayed in the firm hug, till Mordred finally let go. "Hi Merlin, I am so happy to see you again. Please come in. Shall I help you with that?" Mordred, fragile and pale, was energetic with the long limbs of a fourteen-year-old. He dragged Merlin to a little fluffy basket with a tiny black kitten in it. "Ow", Merlin was already on his knees, "it is so cute." They were chatting about young kittens and what should be his name till finally, he noticed Morgana and Arthur sitting comfortably on the couch, smiling to the two of them. "Oh, hi." He raised and walked to them. Arthur grinned and shook his hands. Morgana hugged him and said; "Totally absorbed by kids and kittens." "Yes, yes, that's me." He dropped himself in the windowsill on some pillows. Arthur got them a white beer and Morgana a white wine. Mordred served some appetizers. He asked Merlin if he could help him preparing dinner. "Yes, sure, if you would like that." Then he retreated to his room, probably to play a game on his laptop. 

"So", Arthur said, "tell me, Merlin, what would you like to perform with me." Merlin had given it some thought over the last days. He absently caressed the black kitten who found his way to his lap, like all animals always were attracted to him. He would love to do some cantatas of Bach and sing the Stabat Mater of Pergolesi, but he was sort of afraid to mention those 'forbidden' composers to Arthur. So he started with Scarlatti. "I'd love to sing his 'Dormi'. "Ah, wonderful", Arthur agreed, "we could combine it with one of his sonata's played by Mordred. "And how about what we recorded, 'Eternal sound'?" "Yeah, that's ok with me. Maybe also Sound the trumpet?" Arthur nodded. "Purcell and Haendel are a good combination. So far so good. "And maybe a duet with Morgana", Merlin suggested. "Nice, love it", said Morgana, "Puccini? Verdi?". "Or more Haendel, 'Son nata a lagrimar"? "Oh yes, yes", Morgana raised excited, "I love the drama. Arthur are you ok with this?" "Fine, fine with me. It is wonderful music. And it is quite an unusual combination of composers and pieces. You know I like that." Morgana started to sing the first lines:  
Son nata a lagrimar, e il dolce mio Conforto, ah, sempre piangerò. Merlin fell in:  
Son nato a sospirar, e il dolce mio Conforto, ah, sempre piangerò. "Oh Merlin, I am so happy with you. I feel a lot of musical change is coming our way." "I'm glad you both like what I want to sing. So, this is a start, but it is not enough to make a full concert though?" Arthur nodded. "We could always play some symphonies?" "Hmm", said Merlin, "but what about a cantata from Bach? Or the Stabat Mater from Pergolesi?" Morgana frowned and looked at Arthur. He shivered and fell back in the couch. 

After a while, Arthur raised and walked to the window and sat next to Merlin. "I think you have the right for an explanation. So we can clear this for once and for all: "I hate Bach", he stated, So much for an explanation. His voice dropped an octave, his jaws clenched, his face drained from all colour. "It is not true. I do not hate Bach's music. But I hate the memory attached to it. My mother....", he stopped and sighed. "My mother used to listen or play Bach every single day, till the day she died when I was nine. I have never been able to listen to his music after that, let alone perform it." His voice was a whisper now. _I tread on delicate grounds now_ , Merlin thought. Morgana bit her lip and looked at the two men. He looked at Arthur, who started this intimacy as if he reached out for help. One wrong word and he would return to his shell. 

"I think I understand", Merlin started. "Do you?"Arthur snapped. "Yes, I think I do. Only I had a loving mother who helped me grief when my father disappeared." Arthur nodded slowly. "You're right. I'm sorry. I keep forgetting we're two of a kind, in a way. Only it left me behind, with.....nothing?" They all seem to reflect on this. The silence wasn't awkward, but still heavy to bear. "When something horrible like this happens at that age, you get into shock. Till someone helps you to cope with it, to grief. If not, you get traumatised, you can't move on. I seriously think you still are in shock after all these years." Arthur gazed at him intensely. "I am perfectly capable of coping with it", he said, "till people like you start to poke in the wound". "Exactly", Merlin exclaimed, "it is still a wound. You should heal it, so you can move on." Arthur raised, fists clenched. "How exactly should I do that, supposed I wanted to do it?" "Talk about it, Arthur, that's a good start." "Oh no", Arthur shouted and dropped himself back in the couch, "Oh no, I'm not going to a shrink. I'm not mentally ill. Thank you very much."

Mordred came out of his room and squirmed himself in between Morgana and Arthur. He leaned against his brother. "Are you mad, Arthur?" Arthur wrapped his arm around Mordred, kissed him on the head and said: "No, my little friend, I am not mad and definitely not at you." The presence of his little brother seemed to calm him. "Good", said Mordred, "then maybe it is time we're going to prepare for dinner. I am starving!" They all laughed and the tension slipped away. "At least think about it, Arthur. I am used to working with traumatised people. We could work this out. Together." "I will, mister Emrys, I will."

"Why don't we all get into the kitchen and prepare dinner together?" Merlin stood and made inviting gestures in the direction of the kitchen, the kitten resting in his neck now to the great pleasure of Mordred. "Yes", Morgana raised too, "perfect idea." Mordred pulled all the groceries to the kitchen. "So, what do we have to do?" "You and I, my dear friend, are going to bake potatoes, alright? But first, let me tell the adults what to do." Arthur smirked and looked a little helpless. "Arthur, why don't you make the marinade for the fried chicken and Morgana can make the salad. Morgana immediately started to collect all the things for the salad and was chopping in no time. Arthur was looking at the chicken wings in front of them. Merlin chuckled. "Put the wings in a casserole so it is easier to marinade them." "Ah. Yes." He looked for the right thing and put the chicken wings in it, then he started to mix some of the ingredients Merlin had pointed out to him. "How do I know this marinade-thing is good?" "Stick your finger in it and lick it off", Mordred said. Arthur couldn't help himself laughing out loud; "Who taught you that?" His brother pointed at Morgana who was suddenly very busy chopping onions. "Now, Mordred, you and I are going to slice potatoes, rub them in with olive oil, garlic and salted lemons and bake them very slowly." 

They all worked in good cheer. Arthur served drinks again and kept stirring the wings in his marinade. He also set the table and lit some candles. Soon the house was filled with scents of fried chicken, garlic and baked potatoes."What kind of dressing does this salad need?" "It depends on Mordred's taste", responded Merlin. The young boy seriously inspected the salad of different lettuces, paprika, onion and cucumber. "I think it is missing something." And he was right. Merlin brought some blueberries who completed the salad perfectly. "I think the dressing should be sweetish", he concluded. So Merlin showed him the basic ingredients for a plain dressing and told him he could add some Roquefort and mix it with honey to make it 'sweetish'. 

"You know what?" Morgana said when they were enjoying their home-cooked meal, "It is really fun to make your own dinner. Sort of tastes better." "Yeah", Arthur boasted, "surely when you have such an excellent marinator." "It's not in the dictionary, Arthur," Mordred stated without stopping a moment of chewing his last chicken wing. 


	7. Mahler and mysteries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Camelot Music Hall is filled with joy and music. The earth shivers. And who the fuck is Kilgharrah?

It was only for Wednesday he got back at the Camelot Music Hall. It was a beehive now. Everything and everyone was preparing for the last series of the season. Three nights of Mahler, 'das Klagende Lied', the full version, meaning three parts. Every night was sold out. The last night they would also record the whole concert. The rarely performed piece needed full orchestra and choir. Morgana would sing the soprano parts and Leon would perform as the baritone. Alt and tenor came from the choir, consisting of some promising conservatory students whom Arthur helped to have a quick start in their career. They agreed Merlin would take care of Mordred these three days, which was not much of a burden since they grew closer every day. Arthur was his own glorious self. Bossing and bantering, ordering everyone around, being the nervous prat a conductor is supposed to be before a concert. As a result, Merlin found himself the one moment racing in Arthur's car to collect tuxedos from the dry cleaners and Morgana's dresses from a shop and the next moment ordering sandwiches for the whole orchestra. And cleaning up after everyone. He was ok with it. He loved the atmosphere before concerts, the energy building. So, he and Mordred cheerfully ran from helping Gaius with broken instruments or fixing standards to answering emails on behalf of Arthur. 

In the meantime, people, singers and musicians came to him for advice. Which he gave, willingly. He partly did give them the advice they expected to hear, like drinking some ginger tea or take some rest. But whenever it was possible he used little of his magic to help relax their vocal cords or painful muscles. Even his friend Gwaine visited him at some point. The bass player complained of a painful shoulder. When Merlin gave him some magical relaxation he saw a serious injury in his shoulder tissue. "What did you do?" "Er, well, can you keep a secret?" "Promised, my lips are sealed." I recently started fighting with a sword." "Ah", Merlin grinned, "Are you trying to impress someone? So I should call you Sir Gwaine after all!" His friend blushed which he seldom did. He repaired the injury thoroughly and told him to keep his right arm at rest after the concert and warm. "Yeah. Sure. I am wanking with my left hand anyway." Merlin kind of patronizing patted him on his head. "You could ask Percival", Mordred said matter of factly but both Gwaine and Merlin gasped and Gwaine flushed again. 

During the last full rehearsal, the late afternoon he got some rest, listening to the music together with Mordred. They ate their handmade sandwiches with too many onions and too much ketchup in the dark back of the hall. Avoiding being discovered. Strictly forbidden for no matter who to eat inside the concert hall. That was exactly why they were doing it. They grinned mischievously Everything was ready for the concert. He promised to help Morgana and Gwen with their dresses and he would dress Leon and Arthur but that was about it if there were no emergencies coming up. During the concert, he would have an earpiece in to be able to be in direct connection with Percival and Will. It felt like a television detective thing and he did kind of like it. 

When they finished eating they listened to the orchestra and the singers for a while. Arthur showed his better self, encouraging everyone, even inspiring. That's why they were loyal to him and always following him. Blunt, handsome but passionate. Merlin knew Mahler was a genius, writing it at the age of nineteen, but somehow, he had never really liked it, nor performed it. Arthur, on the other hand, loved Mahler, especially this piece. It was quite challenging for a conductor and that must be part of why he liked it so much. He couldn't help himself staring at that man in front of the orchestra. His heart ached for loving him. Sitting in the dark he stared at his profile through the whole concert. All went well, the audience went mad after the concert. Thursday was the same routine. Friday was only different because they would record the whole concert so Will brought in the whole circus of microphones and strings. 

In the middle of the concert that Friday night, at the end of the second part, before the break, Merlin felt the earth shivering. He looked around, startled. "Did you feel that?" he asked Mordred. The boy looked at him and whispered back; "Yeah, no big deal, it happens every now and then." He asked Will and Percival if they noticed it, but he got a negative from both of them. So, only the two of them could feel it? Food for thought. Could it be that Mordred had some talent for magic too? Could that be the reason they could feel it and nobody else? It didn't happen again and he forgot about it. This last concert of the season finished with an after-party complete with foto sessions with the press and all. It was only the next Saturday morning when he slept in late and woke with a little headache that it came back to his mind. His phone was ringing when he and Gaius were desperately drinking their strong black coffee to get awake. It was Will. "Would you be able to be in Arthur's office within the hour?" "Why? I can't get my eyes open yet." "O please, stop whining", Will cranked, "Something is wrong with the recording of last night and Arthur would like you to have a look at it." He told Gaius he was off again to the music hall and jumped in the shower. 

He arrived at Arthur's office in his grey sweatsuit and hair still wet. Even Will and Arthur looked if they just fell out of bed. "Hey, what's wrong?" Both looked worried at him. "See for your self", Arthus said. They had some screens up to remix the recording. On one of the screens, you could see the different lines of the instruments and the voices whirling together up and down. "What am I supposed to look at?" Will pushed some buttons and responded: "Look at the end of the second part. And listen too." Merlin did and he felt a little knot coming up in his belly. Just before the end of that part for only one, maybe two seconds, all went flat on the screen and the sound went off, completely. Merlin asked to run it again, and again. "Did we have a power break?" "No, we didn't. Percival looked into that. We have no explanation at all. Do you?" Merlin grumbled and rubbed the back of his head. "Mpfh. No. Not. No idea. Er, that is, er I think." "What?"They both asked him. "Well", he hesitated. Should he tell them? "Earthquake?"He squeaked uncertainly. Will and Arthur gasped at him. "Are you mad? There was no earthquake. We would all have felt it now wouldn't we?" Merlin sighed and tried to keep calm at the almost angry eyes before him. HIs magic buzzed as it always did when he was around Arthur _and_ when he felt insecure. "Look. I didn't give it much attention, but right at that point, I felt the earth shiver". Arthur and Will looked at him with a bit of fear and disbelief. Arthur was the first who got his senses back. "Can you fix it, Will." Will nodded, "Yeah, I guess, no problem. But it is still weird." "Let's not talk about it, to no one. Promise?" They all agreed. 

Arthur asked Merlin: "I am bringing Mordred to Morgana. Would you like to come with me and talk to me on the way back?" And so they did. In the meantime, Merlin texted Gaius about it. After waiting a while he got only one word back: Kilgharrah. And a second later: "Bring Arthur here! Now!" His magic tickled urgently when he read the strange word. He almost fainted and got a pale face. "Are you ok?" Arthur asked when he noticed the behaviour of his passenger next to him. "We should see Gaius", he whispered. Somehow, Arthur knew better than to object and he turned his car in the direction of Gaius apartment. Merlin felt sick, nauseous. His head ached, for the first time in his life, he felt his magic hurt his bones. He kept seeing weird pictures of old castles and dungeons and dark places. He felt sweaty all over and had trouble breathing. "Hey man, what is happening? Are you sick?" "Dragon", he whispered. The world around him became a blur, Arthur's voice sounded from far, far away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Das klagende Lied, Gustav Mahler https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GT2NfbSj1RE&t=3229s


	8. Triangles and confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin is shifted to a whole new level of magic and he is out in the open about it in his family of friends.

He woke in his own bed with teeth chattering. Worried looks of Gaius and Arthur staring at him. Gaius made him drink something bitter and hot. It was hard to swallow but it gave him almost immediately some warmth in his body. His head became more clear, his aching body came to rest and his breath slowly went back to normal. "Arthur, would you be as kind as to phone his mother, Hunith, she is needed here as soon as possible. You'll find her number on my phone somewhere at the kitchen table. Arthur went off and Gaius asked Merlin; "My dear boy, how are you feeling?" "I don't know what hit me but it feels bad." Even speaking was difficult. "Just nod if I am correct, ok?" Merlin nodded. "Is your head aching in a dazzling way?" Merlin thought about that then he nodded slowly. "Is your magic stronger than before?" He guessed so, it was at least urgently tickling through his body like nothing before. "Does it even hurt your bones?" He nodded hastily. "Do you have flashbacks?" Merlin doubted. There were strange images, but not flashbacks, were they? "Flashbacks?" He asked Gaius, "I see strange images and reflections of dark places if that's what you mean." 

Gaius bowed his head and then he told him softly and slowly speaking: "The moment you met Arthur, something changed in both of you, for good. As soon as you both made the connection to each other, an emotional connection I mean, something shifted in the universe. When you saved Mordred you completed the triangular cords and something shifted in the earth, in history, or you could say, in your destiny." He stopped for a moment. Merlin let it all sink in, although it didn't make much sense to him. He wanted to reflect on it, to roll the words and the meaning of them in his head. "This has never happened before, my dearest boy, so I have the feeling that the bond between you two must be the strongest there is in this world." Merlin looked at him with his eyes wide open. "What you mean?". "Love", Gaius said, "pure love." Merlin fell, all the way, down into the depths of his soul, where he discovered it was all true, undeniable. He sank into a deep healing sleep in which dreams told him all he needed to know, all he already knew but was forgotten all those ages. 

He slept till Sunday morning. Gaius and Arthur sat by his side in turns. Merlin opened his eyes, feeling as if he had been under water, gasping for breath. He looked right into the most beautiful eyes he would ever know and had known for ages. He knew now. It all made sense to him. "Hi mate", Arthur whispered, "you worried me." Merlin nodded and they locked their eyes for minutes. Merlin's magic stirred, as it always did in the vicinity of a Pendragon. It throbbed almost through his veins. For a moment he was afraid Arthur could see it. He couldn't. "Are you ok?" Merlin nodded. "Yes, I am ok, only desperate for a shower, loads of coffee and some breakfast." Arthur raised relieved. "Good, have a shower. See you in a bit."

Merlin felt renewed after his shower and his first coffee. They sat at Gaius kitchen table. Morgana and Mordred had joined them. Sunday morning was beautiful, no wind, the sun shining, birds singing. The doors to the terrace were open. Fragrances of May blossoms mingled with the fresh coffee and Gaius' bacon and eggs. The ate in silence. Arthur gazing distracted at Merlin's face. Merlin openly gazed back. He felt all of his life, all of this world made sense to him now. Something definitely had changed. In the middle of breakfast, Hunith and Gwen stormed in, with worried looks on their faces which relieved when they found Merlin healthy and smiling calmly. They all were introduced to each other and there were more coffee and more bacon and eggs. Merlin enjoyed the company. This was his family, he felt his heart burst with pride and love for them. He could face anything with them around. He didn't know what would happen next, but he was ready for it, no matter what. 

After breakfast was cleared from the table and everyone had another cup of coffee and tea, they fell silent. Merlin cleared his throat and told them he had so much to tell them. He warned them, it might not all be easy to listen to and to understand at once. But he was sure they would give it time to sink in and to reflect on it. They all noticed a major change in him. He was still her son, to Hunith. His boy, to Gaius. His friend to his friends. His wizard to Mordred. He was still precious to Arthur although he couldn't express that in words. And yet, his eyes had darkened somehow, his voice deepened. They all noticed something wise or old hanging around him. 

"Should I take Mordred somewhere?"'Morgana asked. "No need to. He knows." They all looked at each other. "Are you finally going to tell them you _are_ a wizard? Because I warn you, they won't believe you." They all looked from Mordred to Merlin and back. Hunith and Gaius exchanged looks partly worried, partly loving. 

"You could say I am a kind of wizard, Mordred is right. I prefer to say I have a talent for magic, inherited through my ancestors, it's a gift I couldn't refuse. My mother and Gaius have educated me for a long time until I was able to contain it, handle it. Before that it ruled me, now I am in charge of it. I choose to only use it to heal animals, to heal people mentally and physically. I've never used my magic to defend nor protect my self. I've never used it to kill or to make a fire or do other tricks. Although there was a time, too long ago for most of you to comprehend now." He wandered off. Gaius coughed and rubbed his eyes. Hunith took his hand. 

"I am not connected to any dark magic, nor druids, nor wicas or witches. I work on my own, the way my ancestors show me. That's why I need Gaius and Hunith. Triangles are powerful. And that's why I need them now, here." Nobody said a word. They all listened intrigued. "When Arthur and I met, something changed in both of us. When we made an emotional connection, which we did", he touched Arthur's arm, on which he nodded, "something changed in the universe. When I made a connection to Mordred something shifted, in the earth, in history, in our destiny. I might have restored something very old, something very powerful. I don't know what the consequences will be but the three of us", he looked at Mordred and locked eyes with Arthur, "are bonded with something beyond belief, bigger than the three of us. You could say, I woke something. Doing that I moved on to the next level of my magic. It should be carefully mastered with the help of my mother and Gaius. And I need their protection because, with all this immense power, I am vulnerable."

Mordred was the first to move and talk. He leapt for Merlin and hugged both him and Arthur. "I love you both, so much", he said as tears were rolling over his cheeks. There was a lot more coughing and rubbing eyes at the table. Even Arthur's eyes were watery. Without breaking their hug, Arthur reached for Merlin's head with his left hand and draw him closer, still looking in his gorgeous eyes, till their heads touched. 

After his confession, there was a lot to talk about. Nobody wanted to leave so they ended up making dinner together and eating in the warming sunshine. 

Did things change? Merlin couldn't tell yet. He felt they all grew closer, bonded. Luckily, nobody asked about Mordred and his slowly awakening magic. The only thing was Arthur. He was kind to him, stared a lot. Apparently, he had a lot to think about, like anybody. Sometimes his hand fluttered in the air, he opened his mouth and then wouldn't say a word. He helped in the kitchen, was polite and friendly to Hunith, took care of Mordred and yet his eyes followed Merlin with every move he made, sometimes frowning, sometimes smiling. But all from a distance. When they finally went home one by one, Morgana assured him not to worry. "It is his way of coping with emotional things." She asked if she could give Gwen a ride. "Oh no", she blushed, "thank you. Someone is picking me up. Hunith will use my car for the time being." "Someone?" Morgana teased. 

When Arthur left he asked Merlin if he would be in the office tomorrow. "Yes", Merlin answered, "as a matter of fact I will. I am no longer volunteering at the hospital. They will call me when they think I am really needed. "That's great", Arthur smiled sincerely. He hugged Merlin lovingly. "See you tomorrow, take your time." "I will be there after a late breakfast with my mom." Finally, it was the three of them, Gaius, Hunith and Merlin. Gaius walked around, making the bed in the guestroom. Merlin leaned in on Hunith's shoulder. "I am so proud of you", she said. "So immensely proud that you are my son." "Thanks, mom. It is so nice to hear you say that. I am glad you are here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In magic, as well as in alchemy, the triangle stands for the four elements. Air is associated with communication, wisdom or the power of the mind. It is also associated with the element of earth, as a symbol for fertility and abundance. The triangle is also connected to fire like in destruction and creation. Water for the divine feminine energy. Four triangles mean a huge protective power.


	9. Question and answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin meets Kilgarrah and gets disturbing answers.

He did not sleep much that night. Gaius prepared him some potions to help his body cope with the new level of magic. Hunith and he both helped him for hours in starting to contain it again so he could use it, not being used by it. At last, he asked them what he should do about Kilgharrah. "You have wakened the old dragon Kilgharrah and if and when you want, you can summon him, to help you or guide you. He will be at your service and yours only." Merlin looked astonished to Gaius. "You will know when you are ready for it. Don't worry about it." It was all too much to take in at one time, let alone sleep. The little sleep he got was haunted by dark dreams but they disappeared immediately when he woke up early at dawn on Monday morning. So much for sleeping in and late breakfast. 

His mother drove him to the Camelot Music Hall. She would do some shopping and then come back to see him and his new workplace at lunch. He felt the earth shivering as soon as he entered the empty hall. On his way to Arthur's office, he felt it for the second time, stronger. He heard someone calling his name, or felt it, or imagined it. Sweating and panting all of a sudden, he took the elevator down to the basement and stumbled into Gaius workplace. The man was shocked by his appearance. "My boy, what", he started. "I need.....to see....the building plan", Merlin stuttered. "Building plan? What on earth are you talking about?" "The plan. For building Camelot Music Hall". "I think Arthur might have one?" Merlin was already on his way, followed by Gaius. Arthur was pacing in his office in old jeans and a dazzling white shirt. It distracted Merlin only for a moment, just enough to catch his breath. "There you are, Merlin, I...." Merlin interrupted him. "I want the building plan for Camelot". "They are with the architect, I don't think I have a copy", Arthur answered, staring at the sweating Merlin, breathing heavily, "but why?" Merlin sank on the couch. His magic raged through his body and a voice kept getting louder in his head. _Merlin, Merlin._ Under his breath, he asked; "Do you know what was here before this building?" Arthur shook his head and looked at Gaius. "If I am right there were some remains of a very old castle. Underneath there should be very deep caves. I believe people thought a part of the Thames must have flown down there." Merlin calmed down. "But why do you want to know all of a sudden?" Merlin looked at Gaius and Arthur and said: "I don't know but I simply have to know. And if you will excuse me I will be in my office". He left them desperate. 

In his office, after he closed the door, he sat on his couch and looked out of the window. He let his magic flow freely. The voice calling in his head was painfully shouting now. Without thinking he ordered his magic to bring him to that voice. 

It was dark, cold and damp. He summoned light and found himself being at an immense and old cave. Water was dripping down. The stone in front of him was eroded by it and now it looked like a bowl, the surface of the water dark. Suddenly he heard the same voice he had heard in his head call him: "Merlin! Finally. What took you so long, my dear, old warlock." From the dark floated a gigantic head, with big gentle eyes in a black leathery face. Merlin knew; "Kilgharrah". The head of the dragon bowed. "At least you remember my name." It was such a deep, old voice, yet it felt familiar, it stirred something deep down inside of him. "Now, dear Merlin, what is it you want to ask me?" "What is my destiny?" "Ah, straight to the point. I always liked that in you." It almost looked like the dragon chuckled. "It is what you have always asked. Well, have a look and see." 

He breathed fire to the surface of the water in front of them. It rippled and when Merlin looked in it, he saw the world twirl. The Camelot Music Hall burned down, death was everywhere. Visions of an old and lonely Arthur, drunk in the gutter. He couldn't look anymore. "NO", he gasped, "no. You must be kidding." "The future has many faces, my dear warlock. You have changed your destiny by restoring the triangle of you, Arthur and Mordred. Now it is your destiny, as it was for many times, to protect them." "Tell me how". Kilgharrah laughed. "I don't know. But you might have a change in serving and protecting them if you do three things: "Free me. That's the easiest part. Second, love Arthur and never leave him. Third; kill Uther. And then, maybe, maybe you will find your destiny." Kilgharrah looked at him in silence. Waiting. "You know, I will do anything for Arthur." The dragon nodded. "Yes, I know. You are two sides of the same coin. It has been this way at any time and will be." Merlin contemplated. Finally, he said. "I will do as you told me. How much time do I have?" "Your whole life, eternity?" "That is not an answer". he shouted. The dragon sighed with little fire sparks. "When you have set me free, when you and Arthur will love each other, when you have killed Uther, the balance of the world will be restored, for good. Think triangular. Until that time, everything can change." "Do I have a choice?" "You always have a choice, my dear Merlin Emrys."

"How come you are trapped here?" "You ask. I answer. Don't blame me if you don't like the answer. We may speak in riddles but we never lie." "Please tell me." "Arthur's mother had magic. We learned a lot from each other. When Uther found out he asked her to imprison me. Before I knew she did it, out of love not fear for Uther, using powerful magic and trapped me in here. Immediately after he was sure I would never escape, he killed her." Merlin gasped in shock. "Little did he know that by doing so, he changed destiny. Arthur and Mordred, both in different ways, inherited some of her magic and the three of you had to meet, inevitable. Beware of Uther, Merlin, he can smell magic and will not hesitate to kill you for it." Merlin jumped and said as if he took an oath; I will set you free, I will love Arthur, no matter what and I will kill Uther whenever he comes near him." Kilgharrah bowed to Merlin. "Good enough, thank you, and know, as soon as you set me free I have to obey you because you are one of the last dragonlords."

Merlin let his magic come out, stronger as ever, almost too strong to tame. He disentwined every single layer of magic he encountered in the cave. He dismantled every spell, one by one in full concentration. His hands waving around, speaking sometimes with an old voice in an even older language. Slowly a heavy dark mess slipped away. He sighed heavily. "Your magic is beyond what I have ever seen in all the ages I have lived. I owe you my life. Now you have to carefully open the cave and close it again after me for this place will always be secret." Merlin let his magic look for any former natural entrance and opened it without destroying it. "Ok", he said to Kilgharrah, "You go, my friend, hurry, I can hold it only for so much time." The dragon jumped, circled and flew through the opening with noise and winds. "Where will you be?" He shouted. But the cave fell silent. 

When Merlin closed and sealed the cave he sat alone for a while in front of the water. He had so much to think about. As soon as he started summoning his magic to bring him back to the office, the water rippled. With white light, a sword rose from the water and floated to his hands. Astonished he was drawn back in his office, on his couch, with a dripping almost vibrating sword in his hands. He hid it under the couch for later investigation and looked at his phone. Not a minute had passed while he was away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In a time of magic, when Arthur, the one and future King lived, the last dragon, Kilgharrah, was locked in the caves under Camelot, by Uther. Until Merlin Emrys, the last dragonlord set him free.


	10. Music and Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin starts working with Mordred and sings the forbidden composer, Bach.

He leaned back. There was a little knock on the door and Arthur came in. "Are you alright?" "Yep", Merlin answered, "I'm fine." "Oh, er, ok. What are you doing?" "Nothing." "Right", Arthur said with a questioning expression on his face. "What do you want me to do?" Arthur raised his eyebrows. "Well, you could fetch me some coffee and start with the tasks I send you in your app, you moron" "Kay," Merlin said, "of course. On my way, you prickhead". Despite everything that was happening, they were back to normal. 

Arthur's tasks got him busy all morning. Various things like answering emails or sending emails, starting the poster for the opening concert, bringing clothes to the dry cleaner and stuff like that. In his agenda after lunch he found; Mordred (consulting). He walked into Arthur's office and asked what he would do with his brother. "He will be practising for some concerts in the coming season and I want you to listen to it and help him." "Nice", Merlin replied, "I'd love that." 

After the lively lunch with the whole staff, he invited his mother to take a tour around Camelot. But, he immediately took her down to Gaius workplace and closed the door. After he told them what had happened with Kilgharrah they all sat in silence. "You know there are a lot of implications by doing what you did", Hunith said softly. "And yet we don't know what they could be". Gaius complemented her. Merlin nodded. "By setting Kilgharrah free, I bought some time, you could say. And, er", he hesitated and blushed faintly, "I do love Arthur with all my heart. I will protect him with my life, even it means I have to kill Uther for what he did and for what he is." Gaius and Hunith exchanged looks. Hunith said: "We can see there is a wonderful connection between you and Arthur. I only think Arthur is not fully aware yet that he loves you too." "He will", Merlin stated determined, "he will". Leaving the basement, Gaius hugged him and said: "We still need to work on your new level of magic, especially now." They all agreed on that. "And Merlin", Hunith said, "you have to tell us everything, all the time. For together we can work things out." Merlin nodded, thinking of that sword he was hiding in his office. 

Hunith and Merlin walked upstairs to the concert hall. Only the stage was lit. On it was Mordred sitting in front of the great piano, the kitten on his lap, looking concentrated at his sheet music. His eyes lit up when he saw Merlin and his mother enter. Hunith waved at him and took a seat in one of the front rows. Merlin sat at the ridge of the podium. "Will you play for us?" "Sure", Mordred nodded. "I am doing Beethoven, the moonlight thing, pretty boring, but the audience loves it," rolling with his eyes. Merlin chuckled. He let him play the full sonata and they listened silently to it. Of course, they applauded after he finished. Mordred bowed smiling. He seated himself next to Merlin, the kitten in between them and asked: "So you liked it?" Merlin nodded and said; "I did. It was perfect. Technically". Mordred looked at him with some fear in his eyes: "But?" "You put no feelings in it." "Of course not. Duh. They are just notes and you only have to connect them perfectly and avoid mistakes. I cannot do it otherwise." 

Merlin jumped and walked to the piano. "Let me show you what I mean." I will sing something in two different ways. You just listen." He stroke some accords on the piano, waited a bit and then started to play and sang the first part of Bach's 'Schlummert ein'. He took a rather up-tempo, looked only at his hands and thought of groceries and chores while singing. He stopped and looked at Mordred. The boy said, "I remember this piece. It's Bach, isn't it?" Merlin nodded. "Now listen one more time." He noticed some movement from the corners of his eyes. He closed his eyes and started softer and slower than the first time. He thought about his burning love for Arthur, his need to protect him and started to sing with all his heart. He lost himself completely, not aware of the world around him. He became the music. 

After he finished he had to blink tears away, as emotionally involved as he always got with Bach's music. He had to shake it away before looking to Mordred. The boy walked up to him and hugged him. "That was so beautiful", he sobbed. "And I see what you mean, but I don't know if I can do it like you." Merlin patted him on his shoulders. "I know you can, in your own way." They changed places and Mordred sat still in full concentration. His kitten jumped from nowhere next to him on the stool. 

To their utter astonishment, Mordred didn't play the Moonlight Sonata but started very soft and slow with the same piece Merlin had sung. Merlin gasped. The boy played every note accurate, by heart and when he started singing, Merlin fell on his knees. It was divine. His voice was clear, brilliant, touching, yet fragile as the boy was still in his puberty. The boy put so much emotion in every word, in every note, it made Merlin shiver. 

He knew his magic had slipped when he touched the vocal cords of the boy during the healing process, but he didn't know it would have this astonishing effect He had no words to describe it, he could only listen to it and wanted him to go on forever. When the last note faded they kept silent. Mordred bowed his head and rubbed his eyes. Merlin stared at him in so much joy he felt he must be glowing in the dark. "Oh man, that was divine! We should be singing duets', he whispered. Finally, from the back of the hall, people applauded. His colleagues had silently entered one by one, drawn to good music as they always were. Merlin discovered in shock, even Arthur was there. He came walking to the stage. Merlin saw tears on his cheeks. He climbed at the stage, hissed at Merlin: "I hate you." Then he walked to Mordred and hugged him like forever. 

Merlin slipped out of the now empty hall and left the two brothers alone. He didn't know what to think of it, what to expect now. He went to Arthur's office and waited.

It didn't take long for Arthur to stamp into his office, slamming the door behind him. If eyes could kill. Merlin had never seen this expression on Arthur's face, a mixture of anger, grief and something else, something new. It softened the lines in his face. He started pacing, his fists clenching. "I knew _you_ would only bring change. And I hate changes." He kept pacing, his hands on his head now. "Merlin, I wish we'd never met." He sank on the window sill, his head in his hands, rubbing his face. 

Merlin froze in his chair. He dared not say a word, he hardly breathed. 

Arthur looked at him, he sighed and flustered: "I hate you for bringing so much joy and beauty into Camelot, I hate you for being so much you." 

Merlin did not know what he really heard. Was Arthur mad at him or wasn't he? The silence lingered on. Still, Merlin didn't move. 

"Things can never be the same anymore." He raised and walked up to Merlin. He put his hands on the arm-rests and bowed till their foreheads touched. "I think, er", Arthur stuttered, "I think I am falling in love with you." He yearned as if a burden was lifted. 

He pulled Merlin in his arms, who just discovered he could breathe. Arthur hugged him solid, it almost hurt. Merlin hugged him back. His magic fluttered, it left him on his own accord and kind of circled around them, in a warm and protective embrace. For the first time in his life, Merlin felt complete. 

When they finally let go, they looked at each other, both smiling in a way they had never smiled to anyone before. Slowly Merlin laid his hand in Arthur's neck and pulled him towards him. "I hate you too, Arthur, for making me wanting to kiss you from the moment we first met." And so they did, till they were out of breath and both fell on the couch. Arthur put his arm around Merlin, pulled him closer and kissed his head. Merlin's hand found his way to Arthur's chest and stayed there. At some point, Arthur said; "We should be getting back to work." But they still were plastered to that couch when Mordred entered. He didn't blink a moment. "I am off to Morgana, I'll take my bike. See you when I see you." He gave them both a kiss and left. They both chuckled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moonlight Sonata, Ludwig Beethoven, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5OaSju0qNc  
> Schlummert ein, J.S. Bach, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeBBNrX_Shc


	11. Coincidence and destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Arthur are out and open about their love. With Gaius and Hunith they reflect on the meaning of triangles.

"What you want to do?" "I dunno," Merlin said, "some part of me wants to tell the whole world that I love you and part of me wants to stay here with you forever." Arthur hummed in his hair. "Yeah, me too, let's go at the roof and shout it out, or something like that, but I could sit here with you for ages." At some point, their phones were ringing and buzzing so much they had to get up and decide what they should do. Morgana texted Arthur: _It's ok, but why is Mordred with me tonight?_ He texted back: _Because I am in love with Merlin._ Typical Morgana texted to Merlin: _Finally! I am happy for you._

"I should be going to Gaius, I'm afraid", Merlin said, "they will be waiting for me to practice." Arthur nodded and said: "Fine, we'll go together. I want to be close to you." Arthur drove him to Gaius place. The whole way, whenever he had a hand free, it was on Merlin's knee, who just lent into the door, relaxed and gazing at his friend, his lover now. The thought gave him cheers. 

"Arthur!" Gaius exclaimed, "what a pleasant surprise. What brings you here? Merlin slipped at the table next to Hunith who looked from one to another. "Well, er, I, er, we, I thought we stopped by. Oh crap." Gaius looked from Arthur to Merlin and then to Hunith. She invited them to the table, smiling. Mothers know. "I think they want to tell us something, Gaius." Gaius sat and frowned. "Well, then do tell." Arthur walked to Merlin, put his hands on his shoulder and said: "I think I am in love with this gorgeous young man." Merlin leaned back and held his hand. Gaius clapped his hands together, the broadest smile ever on his face. Hunith hugged them both. She kissed Arthur on his cheek and told him how she loved it to have two sons. "That calls for pizza and wine", said Gaius. "You will have dinner with us because I have the feeling the two of you are not going into the kitchen when you are going home." They smirked and both flushed a little. Arthur sat next to Merlin and during the whole dinner, some parts of their bodies touched. 

After dinner, they talked about the future. Arthur listened with his mouth open to the story of Kilgharrah and the implications of it all. "After I released the dragon, the water broke and Excalibur was given to me" He didn't want to keep any more secrets, although he left Uther out of it. "We don't know what it all means and what will happen, but, from what I hear from your story we have time. Time to figure out what it all means and how we should react", Gaius concluded. Merlin leant to Arthur who still had a frown on his forehead from what he heard. "Kilgharrah mentioned triangles _think triangular_ , he said. "Ah", Gaius said, "in life and in magic, the triangle is one of the most powerful forms. There are a lot of meanings to it, but the most important one is that of protection. Hunith, Alice and I are part of such a protective triangle. You", he pointed at Arthur, "with Mordred and Merlin form a triangle, with the extra power of love." Arthur's frown subsided immediately and he pulled Merlin closer to him. "But those are built with good powers. Triangles can also be very strong when built with evil. Maybe that's what the dragon was warning us for?"

"So, there is a lot we don't know yet", Arthur stated. They all agreed. "How are we going to find out? Do we have a plan?" "Not so much as a plan', said Hunith, "but we should be alert, keep in touch with each other. Merlin has a lot of practice to do with us. He has to fill you in on details. The two of you have to find out for yourself what it means to you." "And", Gaius said, "we should close ranks. Decide who we are going to trust and tell." "And in the meantime, we must enjoy life and love." Hunith put both her hands on the boys. 

That night they sure did enjoy their love, savoured it. 

Merlin woke early Tuesday dawn in the warm embrace of Arthur's body. Spooned, legs tangled, Arthur's arm at his chest. Their bodies were made for each other. When they came home last night, they had some wine, sat at the couch, enjoying the spectacular night view. They kissed, they couldn't stop kissing. They kept saying to each other "I can't believe it." At some point, Arthur dragged Merlin to his bedroom and they undressed in a sudden shyness, as lovers do sometimes. In the comfort of Arthurs huge bed, under the duvet, they explored their bodies. 

Arthur groaned in his neck, waking up slowly. "I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life." Merlin couldn't agree more, he turned around and they started kissing again. When the first light crept in, Merlin slipped out of bed and made them some strong coffee. Sitting in the pillows they sipped, slowly awakening. The kitten jumped on the bed en stretched out between them. "Could you tell me more about Excalibur?" Merlin yawned. "Sure. It will help my brain to wake up. Er, you know the legends of King Arthur?" Arthur nodded. "Well, the sword was put in stone. The one who would be able to pull the sword out would be King of Albion. It happened to be, King Arthur had a very handsome clever magician who used his magic so Arthur could pull out the sword." "Ah. I see. And tell me, what was the name of that very handsome magician again?" They smiled. And kissed. "Is it a coincidence, our names and the sword reappearing after so many years?" Merlin looked pensive. "Coincidence or destiny, I still don't know. But have you noticed all the people around King Arthur are now part of your Camelot Music Hal?" "You mean, Lance is Sir Lancelot? And Gwen is Guinevere?" "Right", Merlin said, "they're all here." Arthur thought about that. 

"It's a bit spooky if you think about it. Are we reliving their lives, or are we reincarnated?" Merlin looked in the wondering eyes of Arthur. "I don't know love, yet. When I restored a triangle, as Gaius thinks I did, I went to a whole new level of magic. And to be honest with you, I have strange dreams about castles and dungeons and dragons, you know. According to Gaius, they could be the memory of", he stopped. "It all makes little sense to me, but they could be _my_ memories from that time, although that is quite disturbing." "Gee", Arthur said, "I need more coffee. But", he stepped out of bed, "do you think I will remember things of King Arthur." "Dunno", Merlin said, "maybe it is more like we, you and all our friends should, er, behave like, er you know, them. For peace and unity." Arthur shook his head and walked to the kitchen. Merlin put one of Arthurs T-shirts on and walked pensively around. "You mean, like closing ranks, as Gaius said?" Merlin nodded, "yes, for now, I think that's exactly what we should do until we know what threat we are facing." Arthur handed him a fresh coffee and looked at him. "You look hot in my T-shirt." Merlin blushed but answered wittily; "I thought so when I saw your Excalibur raising." Arthur gasped and came for him. 

After the shower and more sex, they went downstairs. Arthur scheduled a staff meeting in the CMHP-app and invited also all his friends from the orchestra, even Will, the technician and Mordred. Merlin texted Freya, his old friend from school to see if she could make it on this short notice. Gaius tried to contact Alice his former partner. Everybody was buzzing and texting around what the meeting could be about. 


	12. Closing Ranks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A joyous and yet stirring meeting with all who belong to Camelot. And about love couples and protective triangles.

It was a crowded office when everyone arrived. They all started eating from the little buffet Arthur and Merlin had organised. It was one bunch of festive chatter and laughter. At some point, Arthur brought in champagne, which Merlin and he opened. They poured in the flutes and proposed a toast. "Dear friends", Arthur started. They fell silent and looked curiously at both men, who were grinning and smiling. "I will propose a toast. In the name of love. He looked at Merlin, bent over and kissed him tenderly." They shouted, clapped hands, oohed and aahed, shed some tears and everybody started hugging everybody. It was like a joyous wedding reception, only the fancy clothes were missing. 

When they were done eating. Arthur started to talk again. "It took a while for me to see and then to tell Merlin how I love him." They all smirked. "Duh", Mordred said. "But ok, I finally got the word out and I am so happy. However, there are more reasons we wanted you all to meet." He stopped, caught his breath and locked eyes with Merlin for support. Merlin nodded reassuring and gave him the smile Arthur fell in love with in the first place. "Although I might not say it often, I do see you all as my family and one should share everything with them. Some of you know how Merlin got Mordred to sing music I hated so very, very much. But is also the reason why I love him. So, in the next season, we will be going to perform The Stabat Mater of Pergolesi." They sighed and nodded and complimented him for his courage. Merlin and Morgana were astounded. It was a huge step for Arthur. A lot of them, not Merlin, knew exactly why he refused to perform it, till now. The Stabat Mater was his final piece after 8 years at the conservatory. His own father, Uther Pendragon, attended. And walked away after 20 minutes. He even wrote a devastating review in the national paper. There wasn't much of a bond between father and son but after that, they only met at Christmas. "Hm, I assume you agreed to that. And as you know me, I need your help in making it different from every former performance." "You can count on that", Lancelot stated for them all. "To make it even better", he stopped and drifted away, looked out of the window, a dejected expression in his eyes. "I am going to put Bach on the program as well." Now everybody was utterly astounded. And happy. Merlin shouted for joy and hugged him hefty. "I am thinking of The Mattheus, in a kind of arena setting, singers will have to act, with dancers." Now the cats were out the bag. They were all jumping in their seats and talking disorderly. 

They decided to have a break with strong coffee. When all the excitement was over Arthur, seated behind his desk started talking again. "When Merlin healed Mordred," he sighed, touched by the memory. Some looked surprised. "Something changed in me, profoundly. I'll get back to that later. But a lot changed for Merlin." He looked at his lover. Merlin raised and started explaining walking up and down and gesturing. "I am a magician." A lot of them held their breath and looked baffled. No dark magic, no old religion, just pure magic. I can heal animals and people. It is in my genes, inherited it from my father and mother. The same applies to Gaius, and Alice, and Freya. And even Morgana and Mordred have some latent talent for it. Morgana and Mordred gasped at each other. Arthur inherited his magic from his mother directly. Unfortunately, his education did suppress it. But who knows what will happen. By healing Mordred I restored a triangular cord and I might have changed a lot more. My magic has shifted to beyond belief. " They frowned and listened without a word. "It is too much to explain now, but it is possible dark clouds are coming our way and we have to close ranks." They where overwhelmed and worried. 

Gaius stepped in. "We don't know yet what we have to fear, but Merlin is right, we do have to close ranks." But how? Leon asked. "We will help you as much as we can if we only knew how." They all agreed, "First, dear friends, or family as Arthur said, think about the fact that all our names go back to the time of King Arthur and his knights of the round table." "Hey", Gwaine raised, "I like that! Would you please be as kind as to address me from now on as Sir Gwaine?" They laughed. "But, er, you mean it is no coincidence? Guinevere, Lancelot and well Arthur and his magician Merlin?" Elyon expressed their thoughts. Gaius bit his lip. "We think, we believe it is not a coincidence. Yet, we don't know what to think of it. So, you could all help firstly by being alert. Tell us if you discover strange things, even if you think nothing of it. Secondly, get to know all you can about the history and legends of King Arthur to see if we can find some meaning to this all."

They agreed, there were more questions. To Arthur, it was if they suddenly got closer. It felt good. At some point, Percival said, solemnly, eyes locked with Gwaine: "For the love of Camelot." They all said it as if they pledged a solidarity oath. "Thank you so much", Arthur said touched. "Let it all settle for now. We will meet each other every Tuesday, or more often when needed. And please, don't be afraid to ask questions. Especially Merlin and Gaius, and Hunith too, are way ahead of us. One more thing; Triangles seem to be important, they can protect us. Gaius, Hunith and Alice are such a triangle. Merlin, Mordred and me too. We have to have at least two more triangles, doesn't matter how or what. Maybe you can shine your light on that and give us your ideas."

No one got back to work that Tuesday afternoon. They lingered in and around the office, talked in small groups, asked questions to Merlin and Gaius and Arthur. "Can I form a protective triangle?" Morgana asked Merlin. "Yes, you can." He was distracted by a moment. A blurry vision came over him. A misty view of a man appeared, for just a few seconds, it stirred some memories. "You should connect with Freya, to begin with, and we will see who might match the magic of the two of you. Gwen said: "Does love counts to form a protective triangle?" Merlin looked to Gaius who nodded. "That, my dear, is the strongest triangle. Besides the magic, the love of Arthur, Mordred and Merlin makes it a valuable triangle. But, are you thinking of something particular?" Gwen hesitated. Then she nodded. "I think Lance and I are getting closer and closer and he is good friends with my brother. So, that makes three." "Very good thinking, Gwen, that's exactly what we mean by closing ranks and working together."


	13. Past and Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur asks Merlin to move in with him. Merlin meets the man from his visions. Uther announces his arrival.

Merlin said goodbye to his friends, his uncle and his mother and closed Camelot according to the new instructions of Percival. There were a new alarm system and cameras everywhere. Merlin and Hunith had worked together to put a layer of magic around the building. Not for burglars but in case people with magic and bad intentions wanted to come in. When he entered Arthurs home, he found him sitting on the couch with Excalibur on his lap. He crept next to him. "Hi." "Hi love", Arthur answered. "I want you to move in with me." They looked at each other. "We're going fast." "I need you to move in with me." Arthur continued. "I can't stand not knowing where you are." Merlin kissed him on his lower lip and then rested his head on his shoulder. "I do", he said. "I do. I want to be near you all the time. Besides, it seems to be my destiny to protect you." "And I will protect you with this." He dangerously waved with Excalibur. They grinned. I am going to learn how to fight with this, together with the boys." "The boys?" "Gwaine and Percival are with a club for sword fighting, so now we all join them." "Gwaine and Percival? Hm, I think there is more love in the air." "What?" Arthur almost jumped. "No way." "O yes, I am quite sure and so is Mordred." "That boy is a way to perceptive. Live is changing very fast at the moment", Arthur sighed. Merlin exasperated smilingly;"Yeah, So let's get something to eat before it is too late". 

They went for the fridge and decided to barbecue the lamb chops with a salad. Merlin prepared the meat and Arthur lit the barbecue on the roof terrace. They found a light rose wine in the fridge. Half an hour later Arthur put the lamb chops on the glowing coles, Merlin poured the wine and served the salad. They ate in silence, reflecting on the day, enjoying their company and the warm spring evening. In the flickering light of candles and coles, Merlin had the same vision as earlier that day. A misty image of a man he vaguely remembered. Arthur noticed him holding his breath and shivering. "Are you cold?" The vision faded. Merlin looked at his love and whispered. "I am having visions. It is a man. I think I know him but it is blurry and somehow, although it frightens me, it is also, er. as if, er, I want to meet him." Arthur put an arm around him. "Does Gaius know?" Merlin shook his head. "No, it happened today for the first time. I want to go to bed. I need you to hold me." 

The dreams were fierce and confusing. Faded child-time memories mixed with wars and torture. They ended every time with the sight of that same man but getting clearer every time he thought he saw him. Many times he woke up, crying for help, Arthur was there holding him with his strong arms, caressing him. As Merlin had told him he didn't wake him up in the middle of a nightmare although it was tempting when he saw him struggling, panting, mumbling and sweating in his sleep. Nightmares tell us something, they are important to be fully dreamed to process something, to cope with it. And when the dreams had something to do with magic, like visions or prediction or a message of importance they shouldn't be interrupted. But it was hard on both of them. When the disturbing dreams finally disappeared he fell into a deep sleep, looking almost unconscious. 

Merlin woke up Wednesday with a feeling of excitement he had no explanation for. Adrenaline and his magic were rushing to his body. It was too much energy to stay in bed, so even before Arthur woke he showered and dressed. He kissed his drowsy friend and told him he would fetch his favourite coffee. It was a sunny start of the day outside. The early birds were already sitting outside his Starbucks, reading their newspapers and savouring their first coffees. Before he entered, a man approached him. He recognised him from his dreams, his visions and startled. The man was dressed in black, with leather. A full beard and the first grey hairs in his navy cut hair. His eyes, Merlin thought, those eyes. They were his eyes. They didn't look alike, but those eyes. They were his. He looked into his own eyes. Could it be? "Hi Merlin", the man said with a deep, friendly warming voice. It gave him shivers. He knew those eyes, he recognised that voice, but it couldn't, could it? His magic twirled, reached out and found magic too. "Hi, father", he whispered. 

When Arthur had showered and entered his kitchen, casual clothed, barefoot, his hair still wet, he found Merlin drinking coffee with a stranger. "Oh, er, hi", Merlin jumped from his stool, "Arthur I want you to meet my father Balinor. Father, this is Arthur." Both men shook hands and carefully observed the other. Arthur went on dressing, got his things together and said: "I'll be in my office. I assume you have a lot to catch up." But they merely sat staring at each other. Merlin wanted to ask so many questions, he didn't know where to start. He felt confused, anger towards his dad, love, curiosity. He only asked: "Will you stay?" Balinor nodded. "Yes Merlin, I will stay this time." "Good", Merlin said, "that is good. I need time to get accustomed to the idea of having you around. Balinor bowed his head. "I understand. Take your time. For now, I stay in a hotel but I am looking to rent something. " "Good", said Merlin again. They exchanged phone numbers and agreed to have dinner tomorrow night. 

After they said goodbye he walked to Arthur's office who was sitting in the window's sill. He raised and they hold each other. "Something in is the air", Arthur said, his breath in Merlin's neck, "my father is coming tomorrow." "You're kidding", Merlin exclaimed. He put him a bit away and looked into his eyes. "How do you feel about it?" Arthur shrugged. "I don't know exactly. "He merely announced his arrival and was angry he couldn't stay with me. All the hotels are fully booked so I put him safely a bit outside London. He was not pleased." "Does he has a reason to come now?" "We see each other at Christmas. And since Mordred is living here he always comes to see him in summer. Only now he is early this year for some reason." Merlin grinned. "What?" "Maybe we can have dinner, the four of us, like fathers in law meeting each other." Arthur laughed out loud. "Yeah, could be interesting, but no thank you very much." He will spend some time with Mordred, they get along in some way and he always invites all of us to a fancy restaurant. Morgana hates it and they always end fighting. But we will survive. What about your dad?" "He says he is staying this time and looking for a place to live in London. I think I like that so we can take it slowly by getting to know each other. Feels weird though." Arthur pulled him closer. "Luckily we have each other now if things get rough." "Yeah", Merlin mumbled and sealed it with a long wet kiss. 

After that Merlin got his laptop and they worked together at Arthur's desk. They planned the next season, filled in all the gaps, planned what they had to do the next weeks. Because of the new app, everybody was immediately informed, they noticed during lunch. "I am thinking of giving the opening night of the next season to Merlin", Arthur suggested just before he started his chicken sandwich. Merlin gasped, Morgana cheered. Gwen exclaimed: "Exciting! You are so brave, Arthur." "Wow", Merlin said after almost choking in his salmon. "I burst with joy and pride for you, for us. I'll start working on it. Morgana?" "Yes, yes, yes", she said, "I'm in. I'll help you." "Ok, we'll make a proposal and show you," Merlin jumped in his seat. "In this way, you show from the start there will be some change this season," Gaius complimented. Arthur bowed. "Besides that, it is something we will be working at closely together and that's what I like and what we need." 


	14. Fathers and sons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uther Pendragon arrives.

Merlin and Morgana worked after lunch at the opening concert. They had plenty of ideas and tried several things on the piano. They walked in and out their extensive music library to see if the music sheets were there and if they were in good order and the right number for every member of the orchestra. They had so much joy together and ended with a list of about 20 numbers. Way too much. Piles of music shattered over the stage. One thing was clear, before or after the break, that would be Arthur's decision, they would do Pergolesi. They decided to sing it together. Mordred's voice was still developing, it would be too restraining and maybe hurt him. At the end of the afternoon, they stopped with red cheeks and sparkling eyes and decided to sleep on it and make their final choice on Thursday morning. "This is so nice," Morgana said, "but I am starving now. Come, we drag yours truly to his favourite Italian." Arthur didn't need much persuasion. On the contrary, he invited everyone, including Hunith, Alice and Freia. The manager Iseldir was more than happy to make a big round table for everyone, Wednesday nights were slow and he considered the Pendragons to be his family. Arthur glowed with happiness sitting next to Merlin and Mordred, in the middle of his 'family'. It was all good cheers and chatter. After the Primi Piatti and the first round of wine, Lance told them he and Gwen were a couple now. The rest of the night was all laughter and jokes about who might be the next couple. "I told you so", Merlin leaned to Arthur, "love is in the air." "It sure is," Arthur said and without blinking he grabbed Merlin at his crotch, who squeaked and flushed, but nobody noticed. 

Coming home Arthur took Merlin to the bedroom and ripped him of his clothes in no time. He stripped himself even faster and threw Merlin on his back. He climbed on top of him and started kissing him all over. Merlin wriggled and moaned. Both their dicks were at their fullest. Merlin surrendered completely to the sudden fierce passion of his friend. He opened his legs and put them on Arthur's shoulders. He entered with one push, touching his prostate. Merlin screamed for joy. Arthur poked hard while they locked eyes. They came both at the same moment, in immense hot flows. Arthur crashed next to Merlin and kissed him puffing and sweating. Merlin felt he had never come in this intense way and was still shivering, thin-skinned and light in his head. Arthur stepped out of the bed and came back with a hot wet towel and cleaned them both. Sleeping was never better, for both of them. 

Merlin woke Thursday morning to see Arthur standing for his closet. He knew. "It's your father who is coming, not the queen." Arthur looked at him. "You are right." He slammed the door and took old jeans and a white button-down shirt. Merlin slipped out of bed and started making coffee and breakfast. "I still want his approval somehow", Arthur grumbled. "But you know what? Fuck him, fuck him. God how I hate that man." Merlin was surprised by his ruddy vowels but they seemed to relax him so he just ate his oatmeal and kept pouring coffee. When they both were ready to go to work, Merlin grabbed him, kissed him fiercely and said: "Be a badass today. I will stand by you", and he squeezed his ass to his own and Arthur's surprise. They walked down smiling. Together there was nothing they couldn't face. 

Morgana and Merlin were making the last choices for the opening concert with Arthur when Uther dashed into the office. Without even greeting he shouted, pointing a black finger in their direction, "It is outrageous. Outrageous! Have you gone mad? I had to give fingerprints upon entering." 

"Hello father", Arthur simply replied. "I see you have discovered our new safety measures. To be honest, It took me a week to get the black ink off." He raised, smiled politely and shake hands with his father. "How was your flight?"

Both Morgana and Merlin looked surprised at this new Arthur. "What's the use of it? Afraid burglars, would steal your precious music?" Sarcasm had always been his best weapon. Only this time, for the first time, it didn't effect Arthur. 

"Would you like a coffee?" He went into the kitchen. Uther gasped and shouted: "Are you listening to me?" Arthur shook his head, "not really no. I think you must have had a bad flight and maybe suffer from some jetlag?" He still smiled politely while he gave his father his coffee. 

Uther walked to Morgana and they kissed lightly on their cheeks. He looked at Merlin and raised one eyebrow. "And you are?" Merlin raised, offered him his hand and said; "I'm the new junior partner of the Camelot Music Hall." Uther didn't take his hand. Arthur walked to Merlin, put his arm around him and told his father: "Merlin is not only the new junior in Camelot, but he is also the best singer in the world and, most important, he is my lover, so maybe you could at least show some interest." Arthur looked calm and polite but his jaws clenched. Merlin could feel his anger building. Morgana couldn't take her eyes of her brother in surprise and growing admiration. 

"But he is a boy", Uther screamed. "Thank you for noticing my gender", Merlin said without thinking. "You can't do this to me." Uther raged, "it will ruin my name." 

Anger was thickening the air in the office. Morgana held her breath. 

"I can always file for a name change if that makes you feel better", his voice hoarse now of restrained fury, "and feel free to disinherit me." They stared at each other, both had their fists clenched. "I forbid you", Uther spit. Before he could say more Arthur got closer to him and said very slowly and very soft and yet so full of strength; "I don't need your permission to live my life. If you can't respect it than I kindly request you to leave this building and never come back again." Uther's face reddened, his eyes shot fire. He sighed heavily, turned around to leave his son's office. And as if nothing happened he said before he slammed the door: "I'll see you Friday night for dinner as for tomorrow night I'll catch up with some old friends."

The three of them stood there till Arthur collapsed in his chair and cried. Both Morgana and Merlin held him till he calmed down and then held him some more, telling him how proud they were, till Gaius entered the office with a pile of papers in his hand. "Oh dear", he said, seeing them, "what happened?" "Uther Pendragon happened", Arthur said. "Ah. I see." He put the papers on Arthur's desk and walked to them. Despite his age, he fell on his knees, put a hand on Arthur's knee and said: "For what it's worth, I admire you and respect you. And I love you as my son." Arthur looked into those kind eyes he knew for so many years now. "Thank you, my dear old friend. It means a lot to me." 

For the rest of the day, Arthur was silent and withdrawn. Merlin and Morgana didn't want to leave him alone so they worked in his office quietly. Merlin asked Percival to serve staff lunch somewhere else and the three of them ate in Arthur's office. 

At the end of the workday, Morgana and Arthur stood in his kitchen talking when Merlin brought Balinor in. They were going out for dinner. Morgana and Balinor immediately connected, to the surprise of Arthur and Merlin. Mordred was just staring at the man with a lot of interesting expressions on his face. "As Merlin does not want you to be alone now", Balinor said to Arthur, "please accept my invitation for dinner, including you Morgana and you Mordred" The two men gazed at each other. Than Arthur nodded and said, "fine with me, thanks. if you feel we don't interfere with family affairs?" "No, no, that's ok, that is for the long term, for now, I only want to tell you why I am here. Merlin and I will take our time. But eating is the best way for getting to know each other."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the rewatching the series and after reading many Merlin fanfiction, I thought Arthur was ready to stand up against Uther.


	15. Balinor's burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balinor tells about his talent and why he came to London, to Merlin.

Arthur drove them in his four-plus four to the Italian restaurant. Balinor guessed they loved Italian, and they did. Therefore, it was no burden to go there another night. Merlin told Arthur again how proud he was the way he handled Uther. Morgana agreed. "Thanks, but it hurts. It hurts so much to treat my father like this." "You mean to treat the man who never was a father to you and me?" Arthur nodded and said; "You are absolutely right. But still." "When was the last time he showed you love or gave you a hug?" "To be honest, never!" "Am I allowed to love Uther still?" That was typical Mordred. "Of course my friend", Arthur said, "you're autonomous. I can't tell you whom to love or not. Only when you are in danger I will tell you what to do. Besides, it is _my_ fight with our father, not yours." They smiled at each other. 

Iseldir was pleased to meet them again in such a short time. He immediately understood it was a different atmosphere and gave them a quiet nook in the back of the restaurant with open windows to the herbal garden. 

After their drinks arrived, Merlin said to his father: "Do you always take the same dish in an Italian restaurant?" Balinor nodded, "Yes, always." "Me too", Merlin said, "so we have a habit in common." "I even guess we have the same favourite dish", said Balinor. "Well", Morgana said, "we know what Merlin always chooses, so what's yours?" "Pasta Carbonara", he responded. They all laughed since Merlin did always and always order the same. "Well", Merlin chuckled, "maybe our preference for food is in our genes." They all started with the Vitello tonnato, even Mordred. Father and son ordered the carbonara. Morgana took the pasta pesto, Mordred a pizza with salmon and Arthur, of course, the Italian chicken. Together with a huge tomato salad with mozzarella.

A light breeze brought fragrances in. Rosmarin and some heavy sweet blossom scent. The music was Italian but soft. It wasn't busy. Only a few couples, quietly enjoying the excellent food. Savouring their primi Piatti, Merlin asked his father. "Why are you here?" "I am here, my son," Merlin kind of liked it to hear his father call him his son, "because of evil." He got their attention, even Arthur's. "Every magician, or sorcerer, has his own speciality." Merlin agreed. "Mine is to see, feel, smell if you want, evil magic or even to foresee it. I can sense it from a distance over 1000 miles. I made it my mission to wipe out every malevolent magician and travelled all over the world to wipe them out. Some countries see me as a criminal, a murderer. I guess in a way I am. But the lives I saved by killing them cannot be counted." He stopped and finished his Vitello tonnato. I was in Russia, involved in a difficult case of evil magic when I sensed, er, I needed to be here, with you." He looked at Merlin. "That's when I had my visions of you?" "Yes, I am sorry if it disturbed you. I wanted to warn you but your magic is too strong for me to get through. You know when I sense something bad far away, I never know if it is happening now or in the near future. So I travelled as fast as I could and here I am."

"Can you tell us the nature of what you sensed?" Balinor nodded to Arthur. "I cannot be specific but there is a very powerful and dangerous Triangle in this area. Which is an immediate threat to you." "Triangle?" Morgana raised her eyebrows. "What do you know about Triangles?" "In order to defend yourselves, you guys should at least have four powerful good triangles consisting of four elements." Merlin nodded and explained about fire, air, water and earth being the four elements. They should always be in balance. Evil magic could change that. "With you Arthur and you Mordred, you three have the most important and strongest triangle, consisting of fire, magic and love. I sense good old Gaius is with your mother and his Alice in a powerful triangle with air, magic and love." "So, we need two more?" Balinor nodded to Morgana. "I don't want to be impertinent but I sense a strong connection with you Lady Morgana." She gasped. The name stirred something deep inside her. "You are the first ever to call me that." He bowed. "Forgive if am to blunt, but only Lady Morgana can have dreams like you." Morgana flushed with widened eyes. "You know?" "I know, that's my burden, the same one young Mordred is carrying." "Only I am not as blunt as you." They all laughed. "Don't laugh", Mordred frowned, "I keep it to myself what I feel and see and sense, that's what I mean. I don't go around telling everybody what is wrong with them, as long as they don't know it by themselves." "But what if it would help them to know?" Mordred chewed on that and his pizza. They all gave him the time and space he needed. "How do you know it would help them if they know?" "Good point, mister. You feel it." "Oh no, not again. Do I have to feel _everything_?" They chuckled. "A true Pendragon", Arthur smiled. Mordred went on: "So, I do make an invasive decision with unknown consequences, based on what I feel instead of what I know? Do they have classes for that?" Balinor laughed out loud and nodded. "Absolutely my boy. I am sure Merlin and I could teach you a lot to follow your heart and not lose your head." 

With the coffee and the desserts, Arthur stated: "When you smile Balinor, you look so much alike my Merlin." Balinor bowed shyly. "I am so glad you came, not only for Merlin but for us, for Camelot. Will you join us?" "It will be an honour to join you if Merlin is ok with that." Merlin put his hand on his father's arm. "Please do join us and stay around for the rest of your life so I finally get to know my father. Only, er, you might have to work out some things with Hunith?" "I do. Yes. She only knows my dark side and she will have the last word in allowing me to join you."

"Tell me, have you guys any idea who might be in that evil Triangle." "Not a clue", said Arthur. "My magic did not like my music teacher Morgause", said Merlin, "but I cannot sense an evil magician, I can smell bad or evil magic when it happens, but not the source." "Morgause is pure evil. " "And", he whispered since Mordred was slurping loudly on his sorbet, "no offence but what about Uther?" "Oh, to me he is definitely evil, no offence taken. But an evil magician? I don't know. What I do know is, in a way he can sense magic beyond belief and will destroy it when he discovers it." "What do _you_ feel about Uther?", Merlin frowned and bit on his lip. Balinor locked eyes with his son. "I don't know yet for sure. But I have the feeling you and I should talk about that." Merlin sighed heavily and kept his secret. Luckily for him, Mordred yawned at that moment and exclaimed theatrically he was stuffed and couldn't walk to the car. So Arthur carried him on his back. That's what you have an older brother for. 


	16. Happy days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enchanting days of summer. Friendship and love. Music, laughter and sunshine. Not a cloud to spot?

Friday morning Mordred jumped on the bed and hugged his brother and Merlin. "I'm going out with my dad today", he shouted. "O joy", Arthur yawned and rumbled his hair till his little brother giggled for mercy. "Do you want me to help you get ready?" "Yes please". And off they went. Merlin stayed in bed, happily listening to the screams and noises in the house. He never thought of having kids. But to have a youngster in the house who needed some care and guidance, he liked that. Maybe they could adopt some? Arthur dropped himself on the bed. "My god, kids." Merlin grinned, "I was just thinking to adopt a couple of troublemakers with you." Arthur moaned. "You must be kidding. Luckily I can't make you pregnant, now can I ?" "Just try harder", Merlin smiled and so they did. 

That evening, they had dinner with Uther. In one of the fancy restaurants, they never ate. It was expensive and exquisite, but no friendly atmosphere. They all were very detached and polite, even Morgana. It was such a boring night. Anger held at bay. Only Mordred kept the conversation going. Arthur was polite, quiet, aloof. Merlin zipped his wine, watching and observing pretending he was absent. Uther didn't even glance at him nor spoke to him. He felt as if his magic was gone completely and he wondered if it had something to do with the presence of Uther, or with him doing evil magic. From what he heard, Uther detested all magic so it didn't make sense. But, Kilgharrah wanted him dead, whether it was for punishment or because of evil magic. The lingering and desolate question in the back of his head was; When will I have to do it? 

Saturday Merlin collected his stuff and moved in with Arthur with the help of Morgana and Balinor. When they came back from Gaius, mostly with books, loads of books, and clothes, Mordred had rearranged and cleaned the spacious bookshelves in Arthur's music room, to their surprise. Merlin and he arranged all his books, while Morgana and Arthur put his clothes in one of the wardrobes in their bedroom. Merely t-shirts and black buttondown shirts, black jeans. In the end, what was left were Merlin's books of magic and history and his stuff for making potions. It didn't take long for them to decide to change the never used guestroom into Merlin's room. So together they shopped for paint, bookshelves and a huge table and by the end of Sunday afternoon, his room was ready. It looked like an old fashioned workroom, almost a library with the work table looking like a laboratory. With dirty clothes, paint in their hair, they ordered pizza, to Mordred's joy and crashed with the food on the couch. "We only need one more thing to do", Arthur said to Merlin, "get you dressed properly." "And we will not take no for an answer." "Fine", Merlin said, "if you don't like my t-shirts?" Arthur grinned and said; "You know I love you when you were only a t-shirt." "Now, really boys," Morgana laughed. "But it will be fun, we go together, Mordred need some clothing too because he is growing so fast and you know I love shopping." But it would take till July to find a day in their agenda's, to Merlin's relief. 

The next week, with May half on its way, they were all pretty busy in Camelot Music Hall, preparing for the coming season. Arthur planned some first rehearsals, because of all the new material they choose to perform. Morgana and Merlin were looking into in the last details for the opening concert on the first day of September. Including the advertorials and poster. They agreed to start with the Stabat Mater of Pergolesi. Arthur was really looking into the piece and rearranging parts. He wanted the choir to sing some parts, ballet dancers interfering with moving 3d pictures of all the art that was made for Stabat Maters during the centuries. Morgana provided the pictures and Will and Merlin worked on the act, technique and magic working together. They would use also light effects and fire and handing out candle lights to the audience. Morgana and Merlin would go dressed in black with a kind of hoodies for the last parts when they would sing about grief and sorrow. 

Arthur had made appointments with the school of ballet to see if they could work together at different projects. Nimueh, a well-known choreographer, had agreed to arrange auditions in Camelot for the last year students. After the break, they would perform pieces of coming concerts, including Bach. Arthur thought of opening after the break with the opening choir from St Matthew Passion. With the two choirs and orchestra's opposite of each other and Arthur in the middle. Since he wanted to have every musician and soloist to act in the oratorio with the ballet dancers, he was thinking of a different configuration of the audience. The seats in the hall were easy to relocate, for intimate performance or for at least 500 seats. He thought about an arena like setup and even contacted the original architect, Cenred, to make plans for reconstruction. 

In between, Merlin had long hikes with his father, to get to know each other, to catch up. Sometimes even Hunith walked with them. His parents would never get back in love again, but they got along. Balinor was shocked when Merlin told him he had to kill Uther. Why would Kilgharrah Uther's death? Merlin didn't tell him. He kept his burden secret, for now. Although it relieved him to talk about his quest with Balinor. The three of them worked long hours with Gaius to contain all the magic Merlin now had. It sometimes felt like closing Pandora's box. But he managed, step by step. With the power, he had now he could easily wipe out the inner city of London with one move of his hand if he wasn't thinking or got angry. But he managed to contain it all, to master it. Day by day the magic obeyed him more. 

Every Tuesday the Camelot gang met and exchanged their fears, or their beliefs or clues they found about the Arthurian Legends. They made emergency plans for different situations and send instructions to every member of the Camelot Music Hall. Merlin felt it difficult to keep everybody alert since there was no immediate threat. Morgana, Balinor and Freia had formed the third triangle. A strong one, build on the divine feminine energy, the magic of Balinor and the element of water. They needed only one more. But it was a difficult one, the element earth. Gaius and Merlin couldn't figure out yet how to build that last, important one. Once a week all the 'boys' of the gang, except Merlin and Mordred practised sword fighting, It meant a lot to them, bonding, joy and friendship together with building muscles and technique. 

Arthur and Merlin had long evenings at home, with or without Mordred. They loved to potter around in the kitchen, cooking dinner together. Meaning, Merlin telling Arthur what and how to do it. And they talked about music, both their greatest passion and magic. They learned from each other. They discovered the different expressions on their faces and their meaning, what their triggers were. How different their childhood was. They made love and learned how to love the other, their delicate spots. Discussing the future, sitting on the terrace, or by the fireplace on cool nights. About their plans, the changes, the predicted danger and how to carry on. 

They more and more became two sides of the same coin. 

At the end of May, they had a whole day with Nimueh in the music hall to audition the dancers. They had to be good dancers as well as actors. The whole staff was present, although Arthur and Nimueh would have the final decision. She was young, ambitious and enchanting. They all loved her immediately, except for Gaius who thought she was too happy to be true. Arthur said he was becoming a grumpy old man and they both chuckled. Gaius tried to shake his prejudice off. Nimueh would start writing and practice with the twenty dancers they picked. 

In June they hosted the summer school for music and every member of the Camelot Music Hall was involved in teaching, giving workshops and lectures, concerts with the attendants and the final concert with all the attendants and the Albion Orchestra and choir. It was wonderful to do, but also restraining. They sometimes only met in bed, too exhausted to sleep. 

July was the period for rest and vacation. Although no one was eager to leave London. Hunith found a place to live and bought a flat outside the centre. She coped very well with Balinor. Alice was moving in with Gaius, for old times sake. Gwen and Lance bought a house. Percival and Gwaine started living together. Freya was moving to London. Morgana and Balinor had something going although nobody knew for sure what exactly. She shared her huge apartment with him. Even Mordred and he did get closer. It wasn't a love affair that pulled them together but they had a bond, a profound connection. He helped her to control her talent to foresee in her dreams so she wouldn't be haunted by it. 

In a way, those were happy days, of everyone helping everyone with moving and cheerful nights of housewarming, of long lunches outside in the sun. No cloud to be seen. 

Every now and then, Arthur and Merlin took Mordred on short day trips out of London or visited museums.  
One day, finally, Arthur took Merlin with Morgana and Mordred to the tailor and several shops to get Merlin properly dressed for the business as well as for the stage. Even Merlin himself thought Mordred and he looked stunning in their tuxedos and they couldn't stop parading in front of the mirror.

In the meantime in the Camelot Music Hall, a tremendous facelift was going on. All kind of construction companies worked together in order to finish before the start of August. Luckily they had Cenred, the architect of Camelot, to be their coordinator and inspirator. He had only one condition before he accepted Arthur's assignment: Uther Pendragon must not be around for the whole time. Arthur admitted. He remembered his father being around when they build the Music Hall and he was constantly harassing the construction workers. They even went on strike for a day, till he sent Uther away. But they were safe now. Even the roof of the concert hall would be adjusted to look more like a cathedral's roof and improve the acoustics. With walkways at the sides of the wall with real arches where they could place singers if needed for special performances. 

The last week of July was the yearly classical music week in London. They decided to do free, public rehearsals in the gardenly square next to the music hall. Nimueh and her troops of new chosen dancers attended. Morgana and Mordred, stunningly dressed, performed every now and then parts of their solos for the opening concert. They also turned out to be a nice witty team in explaining to the public what they were listening to and looking at. By the end of the week, the opening night was sold out, so Arthur decided to perform an extra night. 

August was nothing but rehearsals for orchestra and soloists, apart and together. Arthur loved it. And so did they all. With every piece of the opening concert the orchestra, the choir, the dancers and the soloist had to take new positions. Most of them would stand or walk instead of being glued to one seat during the whole concert. In this way, they showed different energy in their performances. 

Freya was helping Merlin in consulting musician since he also had a lot of rehearsals to attend. Alice and Hunith were hired to help with dresses and clothing for the choir and the dancers. Balinor helped Percival in taking care of the building preparing for the new season and the safety measures. Iseldir was catering almost every day with delicious sandwiches and refreshing soups. Every room in the building was in use. Musicians practising in small groups or sleeping on an empty couch. Gwen and Mordred were found regularly together in Arthur's music room, practising Erbarme Dich. It would be a surprise encore. 

Both Merlin and Arthur glowed with love and energy, forming the heart of Camelot, convinced it would last forever. 


	17. Season opening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all focussed at the evening sold out season-opening concert. There was nothing but music. And love, of course. Both to loud to hear destiny whispering.

The day of the opening was hectic, frantic, shouting and bossing. And it was also, laughter and giggles, crying and hugs. At the last dress rehearsal that afternoon, complete with dancers and moving images and lights, everything fell into place. It was smooth, professional and passionate. It was new, something different and they enjoyed it all. Arthur even managed to relax while rehearsing Pergolesi. He only still had wet cheeks while doing Bach, but they all were touched by it and by Arthur's moving way of conducting it. Even Will and Percival listened to them rehearsing, with their eyes shut. 

Several times that day, Merlin felt a dark cloud coming in but he shook it off being just nervous for the concert, which Gaius and Balinor confirmed. Morgana confessed to Merlin having bad dreams again. But they both laughed them away, they were such nervous wrecks, after the concert it all would go better. To Arthur's horror, Uther texted he was flying in to attend the second night of the opening concerts. Merlin asked Percival and Balinor to keep him away from Arthur, at least before the concert. A minor decision, he would regret later. 

Finally, everything was set and the first people arrived. The audience was impressed with the new cathedral-like Camelot Music Hall, beautifully illuminated and decorated with fresh flowers. They wandered around with their free champagne. A lot of friends, family and business contacts were present. But also a surprising lot of celebrities and paparazzi. Camera's were everywhere. Will and his crew with members of the BBC staff would film both evenings and broadcast a compilation of the two concerts next week. 

The Stabat Mater started in darkness, only candles were lit. They performed it with a small part of the orchestra. Merlin and Morgana both on different sides of the hall. The choir stood in the archways, above the audience. The dancers moved elegantly, expressing the sorrow and grief of Pergolesi and interacting with the magical three-dimensional images. Before the last parts, the choir entered the hall, gave out candlelights to the audience and met Merlin and Morgana in the middle of the orchestra. All dressed in black with their headcloths on. People were touched and applauded loud and long. 

After the break, the entire floor of the hall was filled with musicians, singers and dancers for Kommt ihr Tochter. Arthur had chosen to perform it faster than usual practice. He gave the grieving song of Bach so much more meaning and power, conducting it with more dynamic. The two choir part was balanced and the singers changed position, answering the movements of the dancers. 

Merlin sang Vedro con mio diletto standing close to Arthur who really followed him, watching him constantly to make sure the orchestra matched the matchless tempi and dynamic of his angelic voice. 

The piano sonata and the Dormi of Scarlatti were the only pieces of the concert, performed on the stage. Mordred was brilliant in tempering the piano. Merlin's rendition of the Dormi was in such a low tempo and so softly sung, even Arthur was stunned by the beauty of it. 

The concert returned to Bach. Schlummert ein sung by Mordred. He climbed next to Arthur, it was his debut and they held hands, Arthur conducting with only one hand. He sang it clear and so full of emotion. His soprano like youthful timbre, with the promising depth of becoming an adult countertenor. 

They had to change the floor for the Son Nata A Lagrimar where Morgana and Merlin acted with the dancers. It showed the audience a bit of how the whole opera would look. 

For Eternal Source, Merlin climbed into the arches, as was Elyan with his trumpet. It was a divine, pristine fragile performance. 

For the apotheosis, every musician was on the floor. Mordred and Merlin started with the stiff upper lip performance, Sound the trumpet needed. Perfectly performed, but in up-tempo and they both did more grace notes than was usual. At the end of the song, Arthur let the orchestra fade and gave room to some extra percussion. Suddenly it became jazz, samba, swinging and Merlin and Mordred improvised on that. Even the choir was singing and dancing. 

The audience hit the roof. Never had they had such an opening night with so much love for the music. They wanted more. So Arthur gestured at Mordred, who climbed next to his brother again. When the first notes of Erbarme Dich, sounded, Gwen as a soloist on her violin, the audience applauded and oohed and aahed. 

They were all smiles and happy faces when they entered the public space to mingle with the audience and the press. It was a late night, but that was ok, since they had no rehearsals tomorrow, only a second night of the concert. When everybody left, Merlin and Arthur undressed their tuxedos in Arthur's office, so Percival could pick them up tomorrow morning early for the dry cleaners. Barefeet in their underwear they went home. Mordred went asleep some time ago. They kissed in the elevator, dicks rising for love, lust and the adrenaline of the concert. Arthur fell on his back on their bed and Merlin climbed on top of him. He locked eyes with him and dominantly spread his legs. Arthur groaned while Merlin took his time to travel with his tongue from his nipples to his crotch. He licked his balls and travelled on to his arse and made it wet and slippery. Arthur shivered and moaned. His cock quivered. Slowly Merlin entered him, then bowed and kissed him. He poked in a slow but steady rhythm. Arthur came by the strokes of Merlin's belly and then Merlin came and they laid panting for a while and kissed some more till they fell asleep. 

Merlin dreamed of shattered glass, at least that's what he remembered, beautiful little white rocks with shattered pieces of dark glass. Some pieces showed disturbing reflections of himself. Although the beauty stuck to him, he felt there was a dark message hidden in it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have made a playlist on youtube because the concert was sold out and in case you have no idea of the music I use in this chapter. It's the best I could find to give you at least an impression.  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_hqyZ4hyTswFL1BrxhHmS7Dhzurb4Xyn


	18. Nothing happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then, when the last notes of Eternal Source, faded away, it happened, in the blink of an eye.

The reviews next morning on television and in the newspapers were all positive and exuberant. They laureled Arthur being brave, innovative and passionate. Morgana's superb voice matched her exuberant dresses. And they called Mordred and Merlin 'Arthur's golden boys'. The more reflexive papers wrote about the still growing quality of the orchestra and how the magnificent conductor attracted talent like a magnet.

At the last dress rehearsal before the second-night concert, Percival entertained Uther and kept him away from the orchestra. To his surprise, Balinor discovered how Nimueh and Uther greeted each other. He immediately felt the horrible connection between the two. He shivered from the traces of black magic he had not seen before with Nimueh. He should tell Merlin about it, but he decided to tell him after the concert. 

During the second sold-out night, things went smooth again. The audience was equally enthusiastic as the night before. 

And then, when the last notes of Eternal Source, faded away, it happened. 

Time froze. 

Merlin stood singing in one of the archways above the audience, Elyan playing the trumpet at the other wall. He couldn't stop what was happening. He had to watch what happened. He was shocked and frightened. Guilty. He should have listened to his gut feeling, the cloud coming in. The earth and the sky were hysterically pulling to let his magic go but he was unable to answer them. 

He saw Morgause with the speed of light rise from the audience. Together with Nimueh, they put a spell on Mordred. In a whirl of light and smoke, they took him, paralyzed and helpless. Merlin wasn't even sure it really happened, it was in the blink of an eye. 

But the look in Mordred's eyes was one of pure horror, Merlin would never forget.

Without thinking he froze time again himself when the three were gone. Only misty smoke left. He shifted with the speed of light to Arthur, unfroze him. "They have Mordred, I'm going after them. Gather the gang. Stick to the plan." Arthur looked utterly shocked and worried.

Merlin shifted himself to Hyde Park and summoned Kilgharrah. Within seconds he popped out of thin air. "Yes, my dear warlock, how can I help you this time?" Merlin, in staccato, told him what happened. "I need you to follow the small trail of black magic they left behind." "Then off we go", Kilgharrah answered without questions, not this time. Merlin climbed on his back. Despite the horror of it all, Merlin enjoyed riding the dragon. But the knot in his belly grew bigger. Kilgharran's magic reached out for his and they connected, intertwined their powers. Together they followed the tiny little tracks of evil scattered over London. 

Totally in shock but from the outside looking calm, Arthur bowed to the yet unaware and unfrozen public and let them applaud. Then he briefly talked to the orchestra and asked Gwen and Gaius to start with the emergency plan. They were shocked but did calmly what they had to do. Within 10 minutes the Camelot gang was in Arthur's office. The other members of the orchestra would lead the audience out of the building without alarming them. Cenred and Iseldir, sensitive as they were, offered help and Arthur invited them into his office. Arthur looked a shader pale of grey. He was mad and frightened, wanted to go into action immediately, yet they had no idea where to go or what to do. They watched the recording over and over again but there was nothing to see. "With your permission, I am going out to follow the black magic I sensed and kill the source." The two men stared at each other. After a deep sigh, Arthur nodded and said: "I know you have to do what you have to do. Please be careful." Balionor bowed and left. "So it is Morgause and Nimueh?" Gaius asked pensively. "Yes", Arthur said. "Who is the third? And _we_ didn't see anything happen, did you?" Arthur shook his head. "They froze time. Merlin told me they took Mordred and he is after them with Khilgarrah."

A glasslike ball appeared out of nothing. It zoomed around and floated still before Arthur. The voice of Morgause sounded: "You lose, mister Pendragon, you lose this time. But because I have a weak spot for you, I'll give you one chance. Get me the crystal and I will give you Mordred back. You've got 24 hours, starting now." And it swirled away with a faint sound of horrible laughter. 

They all talked about the meaning of it. "Gaius", Arthur shouted and they all went silent. "Do you know what crystal the bitch is talking about?" He paced up and down, fists clenched. "I don't know, but if you allow me I'll go through the books of Merlin to see if I can find anything." Arthur texted Merlin about the crystal, not expecting an answer. 

_Where am I. Arthur? Merlin? I can't move. But I'm not tied. It must be magic. I want to get out of here. I am scared but that doesn't help. I am scared. No, I am angry. That's better. I really need to get out of here. Should I shout for help? I want to cry. No, no, I am angry. That's better. I want to get out of here. NOW!! What is happening in my belly? It is warm and strong and it is really inside of me. Wow! Now my ears hurt. What was that? Oh, look, I am free. How did I do that? Now I get off this bed. But, er, uh. There's no door? Huh? It is a white cubicle without a door? Oh my god, I think I am going to cry now._

Balinor walked through the streets of London. He used magic to be almost invisible. People wouldn't even glance at the man walking in the dark. He took his knife out of his boot. The black knife he used all his life. Every evil life he took with it had strengthened it. He was after Uther. How could he have been so ignorant? He should have acted the moment he knew Uther was tied to Nimueh. They must have formed that awful triangle. Mordred would have a better chance if he killed Uther so the evil triangle was broken. He sniffed like a dog, a wolf. It was a disgusting smell the traces of black magic left behind. He was close. 

Kilgharrah and Merlin followed the traces as good as they could. It got weaker every minute. Somehow it followed the river Theems. It stopped when they were above farmland, close to the riverbank. An hour drive, but the dragon did it in less than ten minutes. It could mean two things. Mordred was here or the trail had faded out. 

With the help of Morgana, Gaius looked into Merlin's extensive library of magic. He used his magic and 'asked' the books to show him information about the crystal. After some movement on the shelves, two books dropped down. They both fetched one and started to look through the pages. After half an hour Gaius closed his book with a smack. "Of course", he said, "of course". "What?" Morgana snapped, sick of worry. "In those days of King Arthur, there was a crystal cave. Sorcerers and druids and magicians, when they found it, they used it to see the future. When Arthur died the cave vanished. Merlin, the Merlin in that time, was the only one who got the pieces of crystal left, which enhanced his magic. Now, where are they?"

 _Did I just free myself?_ _What is happening? Merlin said something about dormant powers. Well, did they just woke up? I can look for a door till I am crazy or I could lay back on the bed and pretend I am still tied. Holy shit! Did the walls move? Oh, I am getting psychotic. That's what fear does. So, I should stay angry and keep quiet. I think. I am angry. That's better. These walls are definitely moving. They move all together in the same way, back and forth. Like a heartbeat. Whish I had my phone on me. Arthur where are you? He will save me. Merlin will come to rescue me. Wouldn't he?_

Balinor stopped at a fancy hotel in a quiet neighbourhood. He couldn't be closer, who or what it was, should be here, no doubt it was Uther. With a slight wave of his hand, he changed his looks into that of an elderly distinguished looking businessman. He followed the heavy stank of evil into the bar. Uther was the only visitor of the empty bar. A young innocent Bartender was cleaning glasses and didn't pay any attention to him. 

They landed in a field where the dark and the crops would hide them. Not that a living soul was around at this time of night. "Can your eyes see anything?" The dragon investigated the area with radiant eyes. Nothing. They probed the dark with their combined powers and they felt something strange blocking their probing. "I think we hit a non-space", Merlin whispered. _You are right. Only evil can do that._ Merlin lowered from the back of Kilgharra. "I'm going in", Merlin stated. _You know it is dangerous for a good magician to go in there?_ Merlin looked in one half-open eye of Kilgharra and stroke his paw absentminded. Before he answered he texted the exact location to Arthur; Come with as many people as you can find as fast as possible. Then he saw his question about the crystal.

Arthur shouted when he received the location Merlin send him. From nervously waiting they all went into action. The cars of Arthur, Percival, Cenred and Iseldir, took them all in no time through the streets of London racing in the direction of the location Merlin gave them. Gaius and Morgana stayed behind to be ready for wounded or other emergencies and for Balinor. They all had weapons, in a variety from knives and swords to crowbars. Arthur was silently praying they wouldn't get any police control. They didn't know how to fight but they didn't care. 

_I am not crazy. I am just getting sick from the moving walls. If it is magic I have and Merlin has the same magic, could I kind of talk to him? Telepathically? O dear. Where did those two come from? Did they walk right through that wall? That's the boss of the dancers. The other I don't know. I hate them. That's good. I kill them. I can be fast as light now and oh, my hands, yes, look at my hands, I choke them, you see, I can beat them, they don't know what is happening. But, oh, that pain in my head. Where does that come from? My head is exploding. Aarrgghh. Why?_

The bar was all glimmering gold and red velvet. It was always the best combination for a fake feeling of wealth and luxury. He ordered a double. The friendly Bartender elegantly poured him the drink and disappeared cleaning glasses again. Uther sat relaxed in his stool, zipping his drink, an arrogant smile on his face. Three similar phones in front of him. 

"What is it with a crystal Morgause wants in exchange for Mordred?" The dragon startled. "That's what they're after?" He growled. "The crystals are what was left of the crystal cave. It vanished when King Arthur died. You should have them, my dear friend." Merlin gasped. "I don't have crystals", he answered, "at least not that I know of?" "Are you sure, warlock? They look like white shimmering pieces of rock." "I have crates with stones and rocks, some of them have healing powers. But, er, well, I'm not able to look at them now, am I?" "Maybe that's good." The dragon sighed. "They should never be owned by people like Morgause. The whole universe would be out of balance at once."

"Merlin collected healing stones and rocks", Gaius told Morgana. "No stones in here", she said. "Come", Gaius said and grabbed her arm, "down with me in the basement." He ran to the elevator. Morgana followed him. Halfway, she kicked out her high heels and went bare feet. Panting they entered the basement. "Merlin left two crates with me, he would sort them out later." Gaius dived for a closet in the back and together they placed two huge crates on the floor. 

"How on earth did that Pendragon rat free himself?" Morgause looked puzzled to the unconscious boy. "Well", Nimueh snapped without thinking, "maybe your magic wasn't that good?" She froze when Morgause eyes flickered from anger. She pointed her finger to Nimueh and shouted: "You are only needed to hold that triangle, but that's the only reason you are still alive." In angry silence, they looked at the boy. "He has magic. Good magic. It's disgusting. Kill him within the hour", she ordered finally and left Nimueh alone with the boy. 

He swallowed his double and left his stool as silent as he could. The smell of the source of evil was repellent, he couldn't stand it any longer. He turned Uther's stool around, who looked surprised and off guard but not frightened as he should be. Balinor looked into the eyes of Uther with a sad smile on his face, his own eyes blackening with disgust. The moment Uther recognised the danger he was in, his knife pierced his heart and Uther sank dead in his stool. No one noticed the laundryman leaving the hotel only seconds later. 

It was trickery and dangerous to go into the nothingness before him. Only, they didn't know a thing about his enhanced magic. He would easily pass the guards which inevitably would be there. He waited some more. Hesitated. He felt Arthur was getting closer. Should he wait? What immediate danger could Mordred be in? They needed him as a hostage. Wouldn't they? He should have trained Mordred to use his magic. He regretted it now. He released only a little of his magic to make sure he felt Mordred's presence.

And then he entered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bow to my readers. Thank you if you're still with me in this neverending story of love and magic.


	19. All-or-Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beat stopped.  
> A deadly silence fell upon the nothingness.  
> Darkness crept in.  
> Thickening horrifying darkness.  
> There was no more air to breathe.

They arrived at the location within forty tantalizing minutes. There had been little light on the outskirts of London and little traffic. In the field they left their cars, there was just a little moonlight flickering in the Theems. They looked like a little army, a street gang. Hunith and Alice scanned their surroundings. All they sensed was a kind of wall of thick, sickening black magic. Hunith felt Merlin's presence, vaguely. "Kilgharra is close," she said, "if we need help, outside, not inside?"

 _My head hurts. It is too white in here. Where the hell am I? Am I in the hospital again? Maybe that nurse has some painkillers for me? Oh. It's the dancer woman. Now I know. Trapped in a sort of living cubicle, or a tesseract. She is going to kill me. Need to escape. I think I can feel Merlin? Or do I only want to think I feel him? No, I do feel him. I hear his voice in my head or I'm mental. Merlin?_ Mordred! _Yes, that's Merlin talking. I'm here!_ I know. _I hope that dancer woman has no powers to look inside my head_ _or I'm screwed._

Upon entering the Camelot Music Hall in the dead of night, Balinor texted Gaius. _The basement_ was the only answer he got. He ran downstairs and found Morgana and Gaius on their knees in front of two big craters with nothing but stones. "What are we looking for?" "The crystal", Gaius moaned with hurting knees, "did you, er, succeed?" Balinor nodded and his face saddened. Both Morgana and Gaius didn't ask further. "Stand back", Balinor commanded. They raised and stood next to Balinor. His eyes blackened, he waved his hands and mumbled words in the ancient language. The stones rumbled softly for a while. In the following silence, a little brown box floated obediently from one of the craters to his hand. "Let's go!" Morgana shouted. "I'll get Excalibur and meet you at the entry", Gaius said, with new energy in his old body. 

The guards didn't see him, cloaked as he was. It felt heavy being surrounded by all the black magic in here. He needed to adjust, to focus, breathe. Not let it drain him. He thought he felt tiny cracks coming up in the nothingness. Was it his magic that weakened somehow Morgauses power or was it her triangle faltering? He hesitated for a moment, holding his breath; Was Uther dead? If so, the triangle couldn't hold the nothingness much longer. He shouldn't be in here when it collapsed and neither should Mordred. 

Morgana drove with her bare feet on the gas pedal, full speed, to the location where the Camelot gang should be. "Is there a crystal in there?" Gaius asked Balinor sitting in the back. Balinor looked to the box in his lap and nodded. "There is. But I can't open the box. Hopefully, they are of any use to Merlin." The two men hung in their seats and kept silent. Morgana drove like mad. She was the first to jump out of the car and ran to Arthur. She hugged him briefly."What's happening?" "Hush", Arthur said hoarsely. They all stood side by side, shoulder to shoulder. Watching something in front of them. With Gaius and Balinor they closed ranks and walked slowly afront. "Those little cracks of light. What is it?" Arthur asked. "It's nothing", whispered Gaius. "And it is weakening", said Balinor. Their triangle is broken. It is collapsing slowly." As they approached more light wriggled through what seemed walls of nothing. "We should get them out of there", Balinor suggested to Arthur. "If they are trapped in there when it collapse....." He shivered and took his black knife out of his boot. With a resolute expression on his face, Arthur stepped forward. He held Excalibur high and shouted: "For the love of Camelot." They all shouted and ran to the collapsing nothingness. 

"I think I am going to play a little with you before I kill you." Nimueh squinted and moved her hands. _The hell you don't. I am faster. Ouch! That was a bit to fast. How did I do that? Smacking myself against the other wall? Well, she looks surprised now._ "You little rat, you think you're smart?" _What's she doing? I can't breathe. Holy shit. That hurt. She's in my head now, I feel her. It hurts. My eyes! OUT! OUT! Ha, she looks startled now. Didn't expect that, did you, bitch. The walls stopped moving. She noticed it too. She is distracted now. It looks like it is all deteriorating here. I jump, 1,2, yes! Ok. Now we're both on our backs. But I bet you are in more pain than I am. I am sure I heard something break in your back. Should I try running through that wall?_

The white was fading, the light quivered. Little cracks became ruptures. The moving stopped. The heartbeat he felt in this living nothingness was fading. He had to act fast. Focus. Mordred should be in the centre. He reached out with his magic and followed the cord. He didn't care anymore if Morgause would know he was here. Time was his biggest enemy now. He took another step through another wall. _No matter what happens; follow the cord,_ he reached out to Mordred. With a burst of lightning, Morgause appeared right in front of him. He shielded himself just in time to see her deadly fire bounce off. 

They easily entered the nothingness, only to find guards waiting for them with long black swords. Something slowed them down. When they hurt them, they healed almost within the second. Balinor shouted to Arthur, "Only your sword and my knife can kill them!" Arthur moved forward and fought like hell with one of the guards. When he stabbed him right through the heart he saw him evaporate. All that was left of the guard was a bit of black powder on the floor. Encouraged by his first success he let Excalibur lead him. It really did. Flashes of wars raged through his mind while he slaughtered the guards one by one. Percival, Gwaine, Leon and Elyan fought close to him, defending him wherever they could. The rest watched their backs because the guards kept circling around. With shouts of victory, they ran through the next wall, finding more guards waiting for them. Their arms began to hurt, they were sweating and the space around them felt too heavy. And still no sign of Merlin nor Mordred. 

_When I focus I can see the cord. It's a string of tiny little lights_. Merlin? _I see him everywhere_. _Which is him?_ Just follow the lights! _Ok. I can do that. Concentrate Mor! Feels like wading through the mud though._ _Something is pulling me back. Do I hear swords fighting? have to keep moving. The walls are tumbling down now. It's getting dark in here. Keep going. I can do this. She's coming after me. Crippling and shouting. I can hardly breathe anymore. Keep going. I will only look at the cord._ Merlin?

In a whirlwind of unleashed power, Merlin tied her. Even Morgause would need at least a few minutes to get his spells undone. That's all he should need to safe Mordred and leave before it was too late. He could hear the Camelot gang fighting and closing in behind him, so his exit was secured. In the midst of the tumbling walls, he saw Mordred crawling in his direction. The heavy black magic was slowing them both down. He saw a creature behind the boy, Nimueh. She was in pain but still had her powers. He had no time to kill her. Flashes of killings he couldn't possibly have performed ran through his mind. For the first time in his life, without hesitating, he worsened her pain and slowed her down. He, Merlin, the healer. No time for guilt now. With one powerful but painful move, she threw flashing powder to both of them, it made the reeking air even worse.

The beat stopped. A deadly silence fell upon the nothingness. Darkness crept in. Thickening horrifying darkness. There was no more air to breathe.

Merlin lightened his path, saw Mordred, grabbed him and shifted to the outer limits of the nothingness. He shouted to his friends with a deep commanding voice: Retreat! With his last strength, he pushed them all out. They fell back in the night. 

With a sickening groan, the nothingness collapsed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- A dragon can not approach a nothingness. It will reverse his powers.  
> \- In geometry, the tesseract is the four-dimensional analogue of the cube; the tesseract is to the cube as the cube is to the square. Just as the surface of the cube consists of six square faces, the hypersurface of the tesseract consists of eight cubical cells. The tesseract is one of the six convex regular 4-polytopes.


	20. Retreat and recover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin was astounded by the beauty of it  
> and his body, his mind, his all,  
> swallowed the gold,  
> the power,  
> the magic,  
> the light.  
> He became earth, water, wind and fire. All in one. He lived the past and the future in one overwhelming now.  
> Almost too much for a human being, even for a warlock

He woke with a heavy weight on his chest. Silence and darkness. A light breeze touched his face. Scents of soil, water and forest. It took a while before he realised the weight was Mordred laying unconscious on top of him. Then everything came back to him. He carefully touched the back of the boy to feel just a little breathe and a weak pulse. He turned the fragile body around and comforted him. Looking around if everything was safe. His friends were scattered all around the field. There was no danger anymore around them. As far as he could sense. Only yards away he saw the reassuring half-open eyes of Kligharrah. He looked for Mordred and thoroughly examined his body. A lot of bruises but no severe external wounds, he released some pain from the internal bruises. The boy would live and heal. One by one he went to his friends. A lot of injuries and all unconscious, but they lived. A little feeling of joy and victory rose in his heart. 

"You have done great". Kilgharrah said when he finished examining his friends. "They will come around within the hour, don't you worry. Only Mordred needs some extra care." Merlin sighed and leaned against the face of his dragon. "Now, before you can rest, my friend, we have to perform the ritual to install the last triangle. We have to do it now since the evil triangle is broken. Bring me Excalibur." Merlin found the sword in the vicinity of Arthur, of course. He laid on his back, pale, bruised. Before he took his sword, he gently kissed him on his forehead and stroke his messy blond hairs. Close to Kilgharrah, he drove Excalibur in the soil. "I reckon you and Excalibur will be two parts of the triangle?" The dragon nodded. "Now summon your crystals Balinor brought with him." Merlin didn't question him, not this time.

"You are the one to install this powerful Triangle of the element Earth. It can only be done by you." Merlin put himself in the centre. He observed Kilgharrah, Excalibur and the little brown box, perfectly aligned as the three corners of a triangle. He set a circle of fire around them. "Be careful, my lord, it might drain you, it might hurt you, but with your power, you will be able to heal yourself." Merlin nodded pensively. He earthed himself. Then he centred himself to the little box. From the corner of his eyes, he saw movements of his friends, regaining consciousness, slowly sitting up. He focussed, took a deep breath and opened the box. Nothing happened at first. 

A dim light rose from within the box. With a roaring voice, from somewhere deep inside him, he summoned the powers of the crystals. They obeyed his mighty voice. Streams of golden light flowed in shiny waves towards the dragon, towards Excalibur and back to the box. The Triangle was installed. But it wasn't over yet. A new beam of gold flowed to Merlin and surrounded him. Another one, smaller, flowed to Mordred. Merlin was astounded by the beauty of it and his body, his mind, his all, swallowed the gold, the power, the magic, the light. He became earth, water, wind and fire. All in one. He lived the past and the future in one overwhelming now. Almost too much for a human being, even for a warlock. The earth shifted, but it was only to regain balance again. He felt thrilled and at the same time peaceful, beyond belief. His magic streamed into the earth and back. When the box closed, the light faded, he fell straight backwards, breathless, with open eyes, glowing from an unearthly light. 

It was almost dawn when they arrived at Camelot Music Hall. Hurt, wounded, tired, worried. It was a crumpled bunch of people with their bruises, stains of blood, torn clothes. But also proud. The sky was black. In the east, it was blue with stripes of purple and dark red, almost gold. They survived, a new day was waiting. Arthur invited them all in his home. They carefully put Mordred and Merlin in bed. Both unconscious and pale. Balinor and Hunith tended Merlin, Gaius and Balinor took care of Mordred. Gaius tried to use some of the potions from Merlin's supply. He only was able to put tiny drops in their mouths, hoping their saliva would spread it in their bodies. Iseldir went for strong coffee and sandwiches. Without consideration, Cenred went to get beds and placed them with the boys in the concert hall on the stage. He was right, nobody wanted to leave. Camelot was their base now, their safe place, almost home. Morgana set next to Mordred's bed, holding his hand, his kitten on her lap. Arthur walked from one room to another, asking every five minutes if Gaius saw any improvements. The boys, they started to call themselves Arthur's knights, took some sleep in turn. During their shifts, they guarded the building, made security walks, were staring at the screens with images of the security cameras. Or they drank some coffee at Arthur's place to check on Merlin and Mordred. Alice persuaded the women to shower and change and asked for their help in repairing their dresses. Just to distract them from their worries. 

Gaius advised Arthur to sleep next to Merlin. He was certain it would speed up the healing process. Morgana finally did the same for Mordred. Gaius took Balinor to Merlin's workroom and closed the door. "Would you be as kind as to get me some injection needles from the nearby apothecary? Without telling anyone." Balinor looked worried. "Sure, I'll get them right away. What for?" Gaius sighed. I need to check their blood. They should react by now on the potions, but they don't. I know it was all too much to endure, but still, we should see some recovery by now. Or at least a reaction." Balinor nodded. "Do you have any idea?" "Yes", Gaius stated, "but I need to be sure", and he pushed him kindly on his way. "I'll be as quick as I can."

Gaius went back to Merlin's room. Arthur slept on his belly, with one arm around Merlin's waist. Merlin looked deadly tired, pale and still unconscious. He stood at the foot and let his magic flow into his body, to examine again, as he had done now for so many times. He sighed. Gwen entered and took him by his arm. "Eat, Gaius", she said, "drink something, take a break. They won't heal sooner if you starve."

Later that day, Gaius gathered everyone in Arthur's living room. He had a troubled expression on his face. "After some careful examination and consulting, I am sure both Merlin and Mordred are poisoned." They all fell silent. Arthur shook his head and sobbed. "It is a strong poison, enhanced by magic. We have been able to get rid of all the evil magic in their bodies, but, for the poison, we need an antidote." Arthur raised, "What? Where? I will get it, tell me." Gaius looked at him with eyes full of love and respect. "I know, my dear boy, I know. There is a little problem though. The plant I need to make the antidote is extinct. But," despair filled the room for a short moment, "I am sure Kew garden have them preserved." They all sighed from relief. "Let's go get then", Arthur said. The boys raised. "Stop", Gaius shouted, "will you please listen out first, for once." He raised one of his eyebrows and they sat back like schoolchildren in front of their teacher. "The antidote must be made on the spot. It is of no use to bring it here. It has to be fresh to be of any use. You need to be quick to make it. And", he raised his finger, "they both need three doses, with intervals of an hour." They all looked puzzled. "You make three groups under the supervision of Hunith, Alice and Balinor and I will tell you how to prepare the potion." They all got into action. "Arthur, Morgana, I need you here." They both nodded wearily. 


	21. Hell and Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But now he hesitated, his hands trembling.  
> "Are you alright?"Arthur frowned.  
> "Yes, I am. A bit shaky. This is the only option we have. If this doesn't work...." He sighed.  
> "I trust you, Gaius. Somehow I have the feeling you saved our lives many times".  
> Gaius nodded pensively. They all were changed this night, loaden with memories they shouldn't have.  
> He took a deep breath and shot the needle with one smooth move into a vein in Merlin's arm.

Balinor, Gwen and Lance were the first of the groups to go. They were nicely dressed, not to fancy, so they mingled perfectly with the crowds in Kew Gardens. Gwen and Lance acted as the couple in love, which wasn't too hard and Balinor could well be their uncle, the elderly guide who explained the plants around them. Although they strolled slowly like every other visitor they walked straight to the Temperate House. It was the best chance to find the Euphorbia marginata Pursh. There was a small number of guards. They made some pictures of each other just to see how alert the guards were. But they didn't pay any attention. The Temperate House was pretty warm with all the tropical plants. Gwen wore a large cardigan with big pockets. When Balionor nodded Gwen and Lance sat on the panels around the plants and leaned to each other while listening to Balinor explaining something about the temperature and the moisture equilibrium. Meanwhile, he sent the location of the Euphorbia to Gaius. Gwen took off her vest and laid it behind her. Leaning in on Lance she grabbed a plant and shove it under her vest. While sneezing she made a brilliant move and took her vest in her arms as if she was looking for her handkerchief. Balinor immediately stopped his story and as quiet as possible they hurried to the restrooms just outside the Temperate House. In the ladies room, Gwen milked the plant into a prepared bottle. White, sticky cream. She scraped a little from the roots, added it to thefluid and flushed the rests of the plant. She carefully shook the bottle till the liquid was a lighter shade of blue. And off they went for the nearest exit, while Hunith, Leon and Percival entered the Temperate House. 

For the second group, it went as smooth as the first. But when Alice, acting like a very old lady entered with Gwaine and Elyan, things had changed. An attentive guard had noticed two plants missing and more guards were standing now along the beds with plants. Gwaine took his time to flirt effectively with one of the guards while Elyan grabbed a little plant and put in in his hoody. But somehow, somewhere an alarm set of and the Temperate House was closed immediately. Elyan walked to the nearest exit, bumping into people and one of the guards, pretending to be sick. The man was not willing to let him go until Elyan threw up upon his shining shoes. The guard startled and helped Elyan to the nearest toilet outside the Temperate House. He waited to hear Elyan throw up some more and went back with papers to clean his shoes. Elyan, sweating and coughing, milked the Euphorbia and walked to the car to wait for Gwaine and Alice. On purpose, he had chewed on just one tiny leaf of the plant and immediately got sick at the right moment. 

Gaius carefully prepared the injection with the blue liquid from the first bottle. Arthur and Morgana held Merlin's arm. They had washed him and torn off his clothes and put on something comfortable. Gaius had treated his bruises and wounds. Together they had changed the sheets and brought in a lot of blankets since Gaius expected some feverish reactions from the body. But now he hesitated, his hands trembling. "Are you alright?"Arthur frowned. "Yes, I am. A bit shaky. This is the only option we have. If this doesn't work...." He sighed. "I trust you, Gaius. Somehow I have the feeling you saved our lives many times". Gaius nodded pensively. They all were changed this night, loaden with memories they shouldn't have. He took a deep breath and shot the needle with one smooth move into a vein in Merlin's arm. Fascinated, they saw the liquid travel through all the veins in his body with shiny blue lines. They did the same to Mordred. "And now we wait for an hour", Gaius said and got seated at the foot of Merlin's bed. The only visible things happening were the blue shining veins and a slight relaxation of the muscles in both their bodies. 

Exactly an hour after the first one Gaius gave them their second shot. "Now, be aware," he said, "their reactions can be a force." At first, the blue liquid lit their veins again. But then they saw contractions all over the bodies. Spontaneous movements of limbs, even of their heads. Every now and then they were gulping for air. They were team Morgana and team Arthur now. Gaius supervised. They were on all sides of the bed, holding the bodies so they wouldn't hurt themselves. A little colour came back, first on Merlin's cheeks and later on Mordred too. Then they moaned and groaned, getting out of unconsciousness. changing to deep sleep. 

After the third injection, they were prepared for the worst. 

It started with a rise of temperature. A fever, so high they couldn't believe it. Sometimes they had to warm the bodies. Arthur undressed without any hesitation and put Merlin's body in his firm embrace until the shivering stopped. He whispered words of love into his cold ears, careless who would hear them too, till he dozed off and Gaius had to wake him gently when they had to take away the blankets to cool him down with wet towels and ice packs. Except for Arthur and Morgana, they all took shifts of about four hours. Iseldir and Cenred provided them with anything they needed, whatever the hour of the day. They were closer than any family would be, found comfort and relief with each other. Their sleeping space at the stage felt like a school camp, Arthur's home was theirs. 

Every now and then, Percival and Balinor took Arthur and Morgana outside for a bit of fresh air, a quick bite or a coffee. Inevitably at one of those moments, Arthur asked Balinor about what he did last night. They were seated outside Iseldir's restaurant in the early evening, the autumn sun shining. "Did you find the source of the evil you sensed?" Arthur gazed at Balinor. He nodded, looked from Morgana to Arthur and said; "I found the source of the black magic I felt. I traced it till I found him." "Him?" Arthur frowned. Morgana leaned in. Balinor sighed. "Yes. Him. Or better; it. He wasn't himself anymore, he was changed by the evil magic, by Morgause and her friends." The sunset was beautiful on the golden leaves in the Indian summer. The breeze brought spicy scents, an early message from autumn. "When I killed him he evaporated, just like the guards in the nothingness." They waited in silence. Finally, Morgana whispered, looking with her dark eyes into Arthur's, "Who was it?" Balinor bowed his head and said; "The evil thing I killed was formerly known as Uther, but he was an empty shell, nothing more." Morgana felt tears coming down. She accepted the shoulder Balinor offered. Arthur put a hand on his mouth and sobbed. Percival comforted him and held him close. He had never been a real father to them. Last years he was even worse than that. But, he was their father. They both didn't really feel grief. It was more remorse for what could have been and the knowledge of being orphans now. When their first reactions were over and they walked home, Balinor said; "There is more to say about Uther, but that's not mine to tell, it's Merlin." Arthur nodded. "It's okay, Balinor, I don't blame you for killing the thing my father had become. You saved Merlin and Mordred by doing so. But it might take a while before I truly can thank you for it." Balinor put a hand on his shoulder and both men looked at each other, seeing their own pain mirrored.

That night was hell. For everyone. The fever went on. They had to change clothes and sheets for both, every some hours because of the sweating. The fever caused horrible nightmares. Though they never really woke up from them. It was a lot of trouble to get some water down their throats without choking. But they had to drink. No one could tell if Mordred and Merlin were aware of their surroundings. It worried Gaius. Their bodies were working hard to heal themselves, the potions helped. But being both magicians, although different, in the end, they had to heal themselves. Every time Arthur slipped next to his lover to comfort him, to warm him or just to get some sleep, he whispered in his ears; _Merlin, you should heal your self. Do you hear me? You can do it."_ Hunith did it too when she used cold cloths on his forehead. "We will help you as much as we can, but, Merlin, you need to help us too, by healing yourself." At one moment, at the same time, both Merlin and Mordred did some heavy fighting in their dreams. They had to hold them down with four adults before they calmed down. Which was difficult. It seems as if they used magic while sleeping and dreaming to push everyone away. Did they had the same dream or something like that? 

__

In the morning when the fever was still running but the nightmares were less, Gaius suggested putting Mordred in bed with Merlin. "It's just a gut feeling. I don't know why. But it looks like they had the same dream at the same time. That made me thinking. Are they going through the same process? Could they be of any help to each other." No one objected. If it would help, why not? Arthur's bed was King size plus. So they brought Mordred to Merlin, both quietly sleeping now. 

__

Arthur felt comfortable in a strange way. He was holding Merlin in one of his nightmares. Morgana slept with Mordred in her arms. The kitten slept on Mordred's feet. This was his family now, his sister and brother, his lover. It was the world to him. Yes, he was still worried about them and somewhere in the back of his head he was worried what Morgause and Nimueh were capable of if they had left the nothingness in time. Yes, he was not quite sure how he felt about the loss of his father and yes, he had no idea how life would go on the next day, not even the next moment. But somehow it was good to lay down here, the four of them, surrounded by loving and caring friends.

__


	22. Their longest night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They are at their most powerful now and at the same time at their most vulnerable", Gaius said quietly. "They will be back before the sun rises...."
> 
> "...or they'll be gone forever. It is not ours to choose."

Merlin became earth, wind, water and fire. All at the same time in a delirious golden mist. Amazing and also lonely, peaceful and terrifying. To just be. For millions of years in a split second. Floating weightless on his best friend the wind, it took him everywhere he wanted to be, no matter what time or place he thought off. He was the tiny seed to grow a flower. The wild river. The glacier in its mighty icy stillness. A spark in the fire. Flying with a seagull, swimming with dolphins, bugging with the trolls. He was all, that is, in between the deadly dark periods of nothingness and unknown visions. There it was dark and cold. When the dark periods grew shorter and less dark, the light got stronger. Like in spring when the sun gets stronger every day. The devastating side effect was being in nightmares so vivid he felt his body shake and hurt more than it already was. Endless fighting creatures beyond imagination. Draining his magic like never before. None of the creatures was real. That gnawed at him. He was familiar with magical creatures but not one of these. Each fight was different but somehow he was not alone. In the golden mist, a shadow was fighting close to him. Shoulder to shoulder. Only when he woke out of a frosty dark period he knew; Mordred! The next fight they could see each other. They were on the top of a mountain, fighting with a slimy snake-like creature with uncountable heads. He slaughtered the monster with the help of Mordred. Their powers combined, feeling invincible.

But in the end, when they were tired and hugged, he disappeared, leaving Merlin desperately calling for him. 

And then he got lost. 

The voices of the elements tried to enchant him, competing with each other for his attention. _You have us, whatcha looking for. Who needs humans anyway. They are powerless and fragile. In the end, they all die. We have the same power you have. We have something to share. Together we can rule them all out. We can rule the world, you and us, we a r e the world. Stay with us, leave them._ He was so tired. The four elements put on a vortex in front of him, made of shining gold. He was so lonely. They showed him the stars, the moon, all the heavenly bodies for companionship. He wanted to touch them, to hold them in his hand. He wanted to flow into the universe. They showed him how he would be the fifth element. He wanted to drift away on all that power that could be his and his alone. 

And let go. 

MERLIN!

He startled, slid closer towards the vortex, pulling at him. 

MERLIN! 

He was not alone. 

He suddenly remembered being human, first and foremost, beyond power. He was human, first and all, before being a magician. He retreated, stumbled back. With all of his human will, his strength he turned his back to the tempting illusion and grabbed Mordred's hand. "Stay with me, Merlin. We'll find a way home." Merlin hugged him and cried. "You are right, my dear friend, you are right. We should heal ourselves and go home."

The fever was gone. The nightmares were back. 

They didn't leave them alone, not for a second. Gaius sighed impatiently, "Okay, one more nightmare." And he stood at the foot till the evening fell. In the middle of all the movements, the cries, the restless limbs, Merlin first, fell still. Arthur, sitting next to him, was relieved at first. But then he noticed there was no breathing, he felt no heartbeat. Then Mordred fell still. Everyone in the room held their breath and looked worried. Gaius just stood there and studied them intensively, with one eyebrow raised. Both Arthur and Morgana sort of panicked and pulled Gaius at one arm. "Do something, Gaius!" He shook his head. "There is nothing I can do. This is the moment they have to choose, as magicians, to heal themselves. It is the last and most lonely part of their journey. The end of the beginning. Just stay back and watch."

After a long time, people started to doze off, a thin mist rose around Mordred, gold and shining. Warm. A black cloud fell upon Merlin. Cold. 

"They are at their most powerful now and at the same time at their most vulnerable", Gaius said quietly. "They will be back before the sun rises...."

"...or they'll be gone forever. It is not ours to choose." 

  
For hours there was no movement. No sign of life whatsoever. They laid in the bed, cold and still. Almost unbearable for their friends to watch. They didn't leave the house but stuck together. 

Gaius, Balinor, Hunith and Alice stood at the foot and held hands for the whole night. They protected them with old chants and spells. Keeping a watch for all the different worlds and universes to be in balance. No dark gate should be opened now, no entry should be closed. 

The magical energy was all over the place. For everybody in the house to see and feel. It was their longest night ever. 

In the midst of the night, Merlin's cloud slowly changed into the same golden mist as Mordred's and it became one cloud. 

"It's a dream", Merlin said. 

"We're trapped in it", Mordred answered.. 

Merlin nodded. A dream, an enchantment, an illusion, whatever. The mountain they were standing on was just a fantasy. Earth would never ask for his powers or detest humanity. Earth just was. Without any judgement. Always helping and not demanding. "Give me your hand", Merlin asked, "and reach out for me with just a little of your magic." They held hands. Merlin felt their energy meet. The earth rumbled and all of a sudden everything went pitch black. 

"Ask your powers, your magic to heal yourself."

"How?"

"You know. Just ask. And when the light comes in, we are ready, we are home."

Just before dawn, Merlin and Mordred started to breathe again. Some colour came back on their cheeks. They held hands and the golden mist above the two faded. 

"Finally", Gaius sighed and for the first time that night he relaxed and sat tiredly on the foot. They all laughed and cried and hugged. Iseldir started to make breakfast. They didn't know how hungry they were till the house smelled of eggs and bacon and coffee. 

When the first rays of the morning sun touched Merlin's face, he woke. He felt his hand clenched in Mordred's. They had made it. After what seemed an endless time and effort he opened his eyes to meet the most beautiful eyes in the world looking at him with so much love. Arthur was sitting next to him on the bed, his mother leaning on him. They both smiled and had wet cheeks. Mordred next to him gasped for breath and opened his eyes too. They were back, they made it. 

Slowly, everything went back to normal. 

Mordred was back in his own bed. Both he and Merlin slept most of the day. When they woke, there was always someone with them. They talked about what happened and what it meant. What does one do with 'new' memories? They started drinking little sips of water, some potions from Gaius to regain strength again. By the end of the day, they sat in bed comfortably supported by cushions and ate some of the famous chicken soup, Hunith made. They needed to rest and recover but that was only a matter of days. One by one their friends left Camelot and tried to get on with their lives. Hunith and Morgana stayed to take care some more. After a good night sleep, with the snoring Merlin in his arms, Arthur even started to rehearse for the concerts at the coming weekend. 

Business as usual, although their world had changed. It would take time to comprehend it all. 


	23. Truth and Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How come you know all of this?"
> 
> "Kilgharrah told me."
> 
> "When?"
> 
> "When I freed him."
> 
> "And you didn't bother to tell me?" Suddenly fierce. 
> 
> Merlin bowed his head. "I was not sure you how you could cope with all of this."
> 
> "That wasn't yours to decide", Arthur snapped.

That Saturday night Arthur came in late from the concert. Merlin had been listening to the distant sounds of Monteverdi from the concert hall while reading one of the old books on magic laying on the couch. He began to understand he would never stop learning about his magic. When everyone was preparing for the concert, he and Mordred had long conversations in between naps, about their magic and what had happened to them. He started to teach him how to handle his talents. But only for a short time, since they both still had little energy. 

Mordred went to bed early. Merlin lit some candles, took a blanket and set fire to the hearth. Arthur slipped into something comfortable, made tea for both of them and sat next to Merlin. He kissed him gently. "It's good to have you back. And to myself", Arthur said. They sat back, leaning into each other and sipped the tea. They talked about the concert, the plans for next week, the upcoming concert of Bach in October. Inevitably they came back to all that had happened this week and the meaning of it. "I still don't know if we defeated Morgause. I still have no clue what will happen now nor what it means." Arthur nodded, agreeing. "Can you use the crystals or ask Kilgharra or what?" He locked eyes with him. "Definitely. When I have my energy back I will see the dragon. That will be my start. Then I might know what to do." The fire cracked. The first autumn rains whipped the windows. Arthur needed to wind down after performing so they just sat on the couch and looked into the flames. 

At some point, Arthur opened a nice bottle of Merlot and poured in two glasses. He got a gloomy expression on his face. "Wanna tell me what's wrong?" Merlin put his hand on his back. "I'm not sure what I feel about Uther's death." Merlin sighed. He was expecting this conversation. He kept silent and gently rubbed the back of his lover. It was never easy for Arthur to talk about feelings. "I mean, he was evil and he never was much of a father to me. But still. He was my father. You understand?" "Yes, I do dearest." Arthur put his face in his hands. "We didn't even have the chance to say goodbye." He turned to Merlin. "Was there no other solution than to kill him? Couldn't you have cured him with your magic?" Merlin painfully understood the nature of his questions. "Good magic, in general, can change people, but I cannot use magic to change them. It sounds contradicting but you know what I mean?" Arthur nodded. "And to be honest, Uther, the real Uther, was dead already. Morgause just used his shell for her purpose." "That's an awful thought", Arthur sobbed. "Did you know he was evil?" Merlin squinted and nodded pensively. "Kilgharrah told me Uther could be a threat to my magic, in fact to any good magic, so yes, reading between the lines, yes, I should have known. I should have acted on it." Arthur took his wine and lent back into the couch. "I don't blame you, Merlin. It was and still is all very confusing." Merlin waited. He knew there was more to come. "For now, we can be sure, balance is restored?" "It is. For now." Merlin answered. "Good, that's good," "But we don't know if Morgause survived and then, who knows she might find people to restore her evil triangle." 

Arthur frowned. "So, er, it didn't end with Uther's dead?"

Merlin sighed. "Will it ever?"

They stared in the flickering flames of the fire. Merlin could almost 'hear' Arthur's thoughts so he kept quiet. Arthur shifted on the couch. He touched Merlin's knee with his hand and locked eyes again. "Balinor told me there is more to tell about Uther, but it was not for him to tell me. So, will you tell me? If you're up to it?"

He had feared this moment and at the same time accepted it with his whole essence. Arthur needed to know. He should have told him sooner. But he didn't. He didn't look away. Only his expression somewhat saddened. "Your mother, Ygraine, was a powerful magician." He stopped. Arthur didn't know. He looked utterly astonished. "Out of pure love for your father, she hid her powers, knowing how Uther detested magic." Tears went down Arthur's cheeks. He didn't cover them. "I knew", he whispered hoarsely, "I knew it. I forgot, but I knew it. One day I was sad because one of our dogs died, she comforted me. And then, there were all blue butterflies, coming out of her hands. And her eyes", he stopped and looked at Merlin, "her eyes were gold. As beautiful as yours when you do magic. I remember now."

He raised and poured them both a small bit of his old whiskey, for special occasions only. He wanted to numb the pain. He put some blocks in the hearth and waited for the fire to light up. He turned around after a while, leaned to the mantel and simply asked: "And?"

"She was also a dragonlord, by heritage." Arthur gasped. "I have the feeling she passed that on to Mordred."

"How come you know all of this?"

"Kilgharrah told me."

"When?"

"When I freed him."

"And you didn't bother to tell me?" Suddenly fierce. 

Merlin bowed his head. "I was not sure you how you could cope with all of this."

"That wasn't yours to decide", Arthur snapped. 

"You are absolutely right. But I am telling you now."

"There's more?" His jaws clenched, his eyes pierced. 

Merlin nodded. He couldn't hold back now. Whatever may come out of it, Arthur needed to know. No more secrets. "Your father was suspicious by nature and nurture, I think. One day he pursued your mother when she went to see Kilgharrah. When she came back he told her. They had a fight. In the end, your mother promised your dad to prison the dragon in the cavern down under Camelot."

Arthur was listening with his mouth open. His hand with the glass hung in midair. 

Merlin hesitated. "When Uther was sure the dragon could never leave the cave......he killed her."

The glass shattered on the floor. Arthur bumped with his fists on the wall. When he turned around, his expression was sad, hurt but his eyes were icy cold. "You should have told me", he said and walked to his bedroom. 

Merlin didn't know how long he stayed on the couch, sobbing, a hollow feeling of loneliness in his belly. When he finally went to bed, Arthur was deep under the covers at one end of the bed. Merlin undressed quietly and laid down on his end. Both of them didn't reach out. They didn't sleep, they didn't talk. 

He must have dozed off. When he woke, Arthur was sitting at the site. It was morning. 

"Arthur?" Merlin whispered. 

Arthur shook his head. "You should have told me. I want you to leave. I don't trust you anymore. I can't live with that."

"But Arthur", Merlin said with a staggering breath. 

"You should have told me", he said and he disappeared into the bathroom. 

Merlin lay frozen. He felt his world fell apart. His magic raged through his veins. And then he remembered how delicate the balance of the world would be if he and Arthur didn't love each other anymore. Blind with fury and grief he stumbled out of their bed, got dressed on autopilot. He grabbed some things in a big shoulder bag, looked for his car keys and left. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ygraine, Arthur's mother, was a powerful magician and Dragonlord, as Kilgharrah told Merlin, earlier in the story. Uther killed her, obsessed as he was with destroying all magic, long before he was poisoned with the black magic of Morgause. Arthur was twelve years old, His brother Mordred was just born. That is, in my story, not per se canon.


	24. Love hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur said: "Was that Merlin?"  
> Morgana gave him the next paper and said: Of course it was".  
> Gwen responded; "Wouldn't know what to do without him", and showed him the last finding on strings.  
> Gaius offered him the latest schedule for the rehearsal that day, including the seating plan and said; "He keeps us all going, even you".

Days went by. 

Rain poured over London that Wednesday in early autumn. Merlin drove in his car to the outskirts of London. He had to see Kilgharrah. 

When he had left Arthur he crashed at his mother's place. Hunith didn't say much, she comforted him, let him cry and tell his story over and over again. She just listened without any judgement or comment. She helped him to get her spare room ready for him to sleep, as long as he needed. His friends, on the other hand, were not that easy. As soon as they discovered it on Monday, he got phone calls and texts. Gaius had visited him. He was sorry and at the same time, he talked about Merlin's responsibility. In the end, Merlin got mad at him. How could he talk about responsibility while he had lost the love of his life? It was unfair. Right out of school, on his bike through the rain, Mordred had visited him. He pointed his finger to Merlin and said: "You made a promise to never leave us, for life!" That was even harder to face than his friends. He answered; "I am in love with your brother. Without him, I don't want to live and I don't care if the world stops." The only answer he got from Mordred was: "But you promised." At that point, guilt crept in, but only a little.

He really couldn't care less now if the world stopped spinning. 

And he was going to tell that to the dragon. 

"Ah, young warlock", Kilgharrah spoke when summoned, "there you are." Merlin sheltered from the rain under one of his wings and sat on one of his claws. They sat in silence, as dragons can do for hundreds of years. Finally, Merlin said: "I stopped loving Arthur and....."

"Rubbish," snapped the dragon immediately. "Your triangle is still holding. So, don't fool around with me." 

Merlin thought about that. His triangle with Arthur and Mordred was based on love, with the element of fire, for creation as well as destruction. If the triangle was holding, if Kilgharrah was right, could it mean Arthur still loved him? 

"Yes, of course, my dear friend. You both love each other so much, that it hurts." 

"Are you reading my thoughts now?" 

"When I want to, I can. You are so full of self-pity at the moment that I really need to know what is going on in your head."

Despite everything, Merlin chuckled. "Self-pity huh? Don't you think I'm entitled to grief?"

"Absolutely. A little. But the two of you only had a minor row, compared to world history. Get yourself together and makeup. Most of the times that's the best part of a fight between lovers." 

Dragons did have humour, Merlin thought. "So you think Arthur will get back to me?"

"Yes. You still are two sides of the same coin. It is meant to be. Destiny doesn't take your stubbornness into consideration when they predict your future. Trust me, Arthur will come around. Let him cool down. It was quite a piece of truth from you he had to swallow."

Merlin did feel better. The rain was still pouring but he was comfy seated on Kilgharrahs big claw, his wings sheltering him from wind and rain. It felt like a little hideaway. Despite his heartache, he felt loved by his friend the dragon. Not many people could say the same. 

"For the near future, my dear friend, you must be alert. Morgause will do all she can to restore her evil triangle. Although Nimueh is crippled, she still has her powers. So I suggest you get your stubborn ass back to Camelot to protect what you have promised to protect. It has only just begun. The end of the beginning." 

Merlin leaned back for a long time. Every now and then Kilgharrah warmed his space with his warm breath. After more than an hour, he took a deep breath and said: "Thank you, my dearest friend." "You are welcome, as always". They were facing each other now, as far as that is possible with a dragon. Merlin bowed and rubbed the soft spot on Kilgharrahs nose. The dragon closed his eyes half and bowed too. 

The next morning Merlin arrived at the Camelot Music Hall early. Long before sunrise, he was seated and installed and on track. 

Last night, after his meeting with the dragon he had bought flowers for his mom and take away from the China Palace. His mother was surprised. Her grieving puppy had pulled himself together, his eyes were sparkling again, there was some colour on his cheeks and he was full of energy. He told Hunith he would go back to Camelot the next morning. Arthur may have stopped their relation, he still had a job to do. And he would. 

That night he talked to a lot of his friends, or, according to Morgana, more his allies now. 

His office was clean and prepared for the day. He had also carefully organised Arthur's office, which was a mess, of course. Now everything was neat, papers in nice stacks. The empty spots had fresh flowers. He was even on track in the CMHP app with all the appointments and files. This afternoon was a Bach rehearsal so he got his music from the library just to catch up with the already familiar notes. Just before he heard Arthur come down he sent some tasks to his agenda to discuss important things with Morgana, Gwen and Gaius. Morgana was the first to enter with papers for him to sign. She was babbling like normal, carefully ignoring Arthur's surprising expression about his office. Merlin slipped out to his Starbucks and fetched everyone some coffee. When he returned Arthur was talking to his 'allies', he entered his office, spread the coffees around and off he was back to his own office. In the middle of the discussion, his friends really did a fine job there, Arthur said: "Was that Merlin?"  
Morgana gave him the next paper and said: Of course it was".  
Gwen responded; "Wouldn't know what to do without him", and showed him the last finding on strings.  
Gaius offered him the latest schedule for the rehearsal that day, including the seating plan and said; "He keeps us all going, even you", Everyone involved kept Arthur busy that morning. Merlin sneaked in and out his office, preferably when Arthur was at the phone, handing him lists of phone calls he should make before noon or more paperwork. 

Making sure he avoided any eye contact. 

It hurt him to see the black shadows under his eyes, the sad look on his face. It took him all his will powers to work and to keep his distance. To be detached, act like it and just do his job. Just before the rehearsal, Merlin was getting ready, his paper music on his hands, Arthur got him by surprise. He stood in the doorway of Merlin's office. "What the hell do you think you are doing." Merlin retrieved himself the next second and wittily responded; "Just doing my job as usual. Unless you fired me this morning, which should be on a month notice." He dived out of his office, only that close to Arthur but too quick for any contact. "If you will excuse me, I have a rehearsal to attend." With an arrogant grin on his face and head held high, he jumped off the stairs to the Camelot Music hall leaving Arthur behind, flabbergasted. 

The soloists would also sing in the choir with the selection* of cantatas Arthur made for the October series so they were widespread over the floor around the orchestra. It was quite convenient at the moment for Merlin to not be that close to the grumpy conductor Arthur was at the moment. For the first rehearsal, it was not bad. The choir did marvellously. They all knew their notes, although Arthur shouted many times they did not. But it was clear his heart was not at it. The last cantata was a lot of solo work. Mordred took 'Ich Habe Genug' and Merlin did 'Schlummert ein' and 'Ich Freue mich'. Arthur didn't stop them at any time. He merely kept the beat for the orchestra and didn't even glance at the singers. At the end of the rehearsal, he was the first who left the hall to withdraw in his office. 

Merlin crashed with his friends at Iseldors place. They complimented him and he thanked them for their support. "But oh boy, it is hard", he said with sad eyes. "Oh dear, we know", Gaius said, "we know. But Camelot cannot do without you and neither can our stubborn conductor." 

The next day, both Arthur and Merlin worked in their offices with the doors shut. Merlin communicated through the CMHP app or by e-mail only, in a matter-of-fact tone. 

That weekend, Mordred brought him some books and stuff he needed. He was also involved in the plan and texted Merlin when occasionally Arthur was early for office. Morgana would pick him up at Huniths place and the four of them would have dinner together. When they were finished eating Huniths stew and waiting for the dessert, Mordred said: "Merlin, we have a kind of a plan." Merlin chuckled. Hunith smiled bringing in cheesecake and coffee. "I can't wait to hear it", she said and Merlin agreed. "Are you singing at the jazz festival, next week?" Merlin nodded surprised and said; "As a matter of fact, I do. The opening night in the Jazz Cafe. Thank you for reminding. I should get together with Gwaine, Elyan and Will." Mordred and Morgana glanced at each other. "Good. That's good", Mordred said in the Pendragon tone, with a big smile on his face. Then he started to eat his cheesecake. Merlin rolled his eyes but his mothers smiling eyes and Morgana's wink told him to shut up and so he did. For once. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The playlist for the Bach concert in October. (BWV 4, 106 and 82) 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDYKZnskP8I&list=PL_hqyZ4hyTsxVvs-Ra5QboVFW7y1OS0_u&index=2&t=0s


	25. Almost blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwaine picked up the melody and Merlin walked slowly to the microphone.  
> Just before he started to sing 'My Funny Valentine', he noticed Arthur.  
> He hesitated,  
> wanting to ignore him,  
> waited some more.  
> He died.  
> He closed his eyes, found his breath and his voice again.

The next week was boring. 

They still worked with closed doors. Carefully avoiding each other. The only distraction Merlin got was when people needed to see Artur they always stopped at his office too. Arthur got some rehearsals with only the orchestra and a lot of appointments outside the Camelot Music Hall. They only briefly met when Merlin really had to talk to him about a soloist who cancelled his performance. "Gwaine can take his part, will you be as kind as to arrange it with him?" "Sure", Merlin said. "Thank you, that will be all", Arthur ended the rest of Merlin's response. Merlin bowed and left. But he was furious, send away as a servant. The prat! He didn't see him for the rest of the long week. But still, the nights were lonely. He missed him. Even his body longed for him. Their bodies were shaped for each other. Most of the nights he cried himself to sleep. Would Arthur miss him too? 

_I can't stand being alone with him in one room. His scent alone makes me wanna cry. How can I not love him? Am I angry with him or is my pride hurt? Trust. It's all about trust. He shouldn't have secrets for me. Well, how about me? Do I tell him everything? Oh boy, wish I had controlled my temper, at least this time. What'll I do? I want to smack him around, shag him till he can't walk for a day or two. Shut up, Pendragon, get back to work. I managed to live alone before Merlin._

At the opening night of the jazz festival, Merlin arrived early at the Jazz Cafe. The songs were planned. He would sing and play the piano, Gwaine would play the contrabass and second vocals, Elyan would improvise on the trumpet. And Will would do the percussion. They were looking forward to it. Old well-known songs with new arrangements. They would play the whole night with little breaks since the public would wander from one stage to another as they always did at festivals. The program was planned, including some long solos for each of them. After their first songs, Merlin saw the Camelot gang enter and take seats in the back of the Cafe. He immediately started to improvise on a jazzy version of 'With a little help from my friends". Later, when it got really busy he thought he saw Morgana come in, wearing shining leather. But then the really good numbers caught all his attention, he forgot his surroundings and the other side of magic happened, he became one with the music, one with his friends on the stage. He was only slightly aware of Mordred leaning on his shoulders when he did a very long improvisation on the piano on the Summertime theme. 

After a short break, Merlin started on the piano improvising on the theme. Gwaine accompanied him soft and low on his bass, while Elyan took his trumpet and wandered through the public. One of the spots followed him. He stopped at a shy and flushing Arthur, who thought nobody had seen him enter, safely in a corner with his arms around Mordred. Elyan started to play the melody, locking eyes with Arthur, as giving him a serenade. The Camelot crew loved the refreshing brutality of it. Merlin and Gwaine and Will were too busy to follow the genius lines Elyan was playing to notice where he was. When he walked back to the stage, Gwaine picked up the melody and Merlin walked slowly to the microphone. Just before he started to sing 'My Funny Valentine', he noticed Arthur. 

He hesitated, wanting to ignore him, waited some more. 

He died. 

He closed his eyes, found his breath and his voice again. When he opened them, he locked eyes with Arthur who blushed but didn't look away. The two of them were alone on an island in the audience. He sang it totally dedicated to him and Arthur knew. In fact, all of the audience knew, it was not to miss. When the last notes faded, people were still holding their breath for the mere beauty of it. 

Merlin stepped off the stage and walked to Arthur and kissed him short and harsh. He left him standing in a kind of shock and went back to the stage. 

Gwaine somehow knew Merlin wanted to change the routine and he and Elyan started to play the first notes of 'Good morning heartache', Merlin nodded smilingly in anticipation. He jumped behind the piano and put on a shining dressing-gown and a flower in his hair. It was always a success but tonight he could really put all his heart(ache) in it. From there they moved over to 'Glad to be unhappy'. Merlin grinned in between the songs. It wasn't really planned, but now that Arthur was in the house, well, it was their sense of black humour.

I'm _set up, ain't I? I'm so set up. They plotted all against me. He must have prepared this or changed his routine when he spotted me. It is so awkward. Even worse, I can't possibly leave now. The songs are pretty painful. Should anyone know he sings this to me? Yeah, sure, the whole Camelot gang is here. But, my god, how I love that man on the stage. It hurts. I just love him. No matter what he did or would do. I just love him. But he never wants me back. Would he? Hell. Should I tell him?_

When they announced their last songs; 'The look of love' and 'almost blue', in the extended version, Mordred, knowing his brother, pushed Arthur till he walked towards the stage and sat on the ridge. 

The songs ended, the lights faded, their performance was over. 

He walked up to the stage in the dim light and sat next to Merlin at the piano, both uneasy, legs touching. 

Gwaine and Elyan packed their things and left the stage to join their friends. 

Merlin sighed. 

They just sat there for ages. 

Arthur started:"I....."

"Hush", Merlin said.

He wheezed in his hands and let a blue butterfly appear. It landed on Arthur's open hands. He was touched and put his head on Merlin's shoulder. Merlin started to play very softly and sang; 'When I fall in love, it will be forever'. His voice a dark almost whispering melody, very little accords. The people in the bar stopped moving, stopped talking, even the bartenders stopped pouring drinks. They knew this was so very special, in fact, this was not for them, they witnessed something too intimate, the only thing they could do was to be silent. 

The Camelot crew held their breath. As soon as the song ended, they left. 

Merlin packed his things from the stage, took Arthur's hand and walked him out of the Jazz Cafe. It was a clear night with no wind. Every now an then, they glanced at each other. At his car, he handed Arthur on of his old jackets out of the back. "You'll gonna need it." Arthur frowned but accepted the tight fitting rugged thing. Merlin drove them to the centre of Hyde Park. Closed for the night, but that had never been a problem before to him. When they descended the car, Arthur said: "What are we doing here?" "Wait and see", Merlin responded. He put his arm around Arthur's shoulders and walked on the grass. Half of the moon was shining. The dew-wet grass glistened in its light. Merlin summoned Kilgharrah. It would always be an amazing sight to see the dragon pop out of thin air. 

"What the", started Kilgharrah, after landing on the grass, but he continued with so much as a bow. "Arthur Pendragon, what a pleasure to meet you again Sire." Arthur gasped and looked at Merlin. He waved his hand and said; "Forget the humbug, we're gonna fly." His big head swung to Merlin. If he had eyebrows, he would raise them now. "I beg your pardon?" "Well, if I say fly, you fly, won't you?" Kilgharrah squinted and said; "Of course, young master, as you wish. But will you tell me the reason?" "No reason, just for the fun. Now, come on, lower your head so we can climb up." Slowly, a bit reluctant and silent the dragon lowered his head and they climbed up his neck. "Where are we going, young master?" "Just sightseeing, fly wherever you want, just not to high." And off they went. Arthur grabbed Merlin with both his arms, but they were safely packed between his big thorns. As soon as they took off, the dragon and the magician combined their powers to cloak them, so the sleepless in London wouldn't see their black shapes. Kilgharrah roared over the city in big circles, giving them a spectacular view. The city lights, the glistening Theems. The dragon dived and made some slow moves with his wings to show them the Camelot Music Hall. Arthur shouted for joy. _Boys will be boys_. Merlin grinned. _Are you gonna tell me the reason for this flight?_ Arthur leaned with his whole body to Merlin. He could feel his smile. _Should there always be a reason_? Every now and then Arthur tapped him on his shoulder to point something out in the miniature landscape beneath them. _You always had a reason, as far I remember, for everything._ Merlin shivered. _Visions._ Not only for the cold. _There is a need for him to know what it means to ride a dragon._ The dragon slowly headed back for their landing place. _I see. But you don't know what need or when?_ They floated down to the ground. _Nope. Only this urgent need._ They were cold as ice as they stumbled off the dragon. Arthur walked to the head and tapped Kilgharrah on his nose. "Thank you so much, mister dragon, I loved it." "It is my pleasure to fly a true Pendragon. Any time Sire." _I will look into it, my friend, now go home and love this man as if your life depends on it. Which it does._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To feel the music behind this story see;  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_hqyZ4hyTsx6Vmzt2lFuNdxJGJfquJ6l


	26. Sorry and Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur caressed him gently.  
> "I will not die again on you", he whispered in his ear, "I promise."  
> They just sat there, holding each other, till Merlin calmed down.

They were still cold when they entered Camelot. But with shiny eyes and red cheeks. Along with a boyish lightheartedness. "I flew a dragon, can you imagine?" Arthur shouted. Merlin laughed and lit the hearth. Their clothes wet from the nightly air in the sky, they undressed quickly. Arthur grabbed the bottle of whisky and some glasses. Merlin found some winter socks and in only their t-shirts, they settled for the fire with cushions and blankets. When they finally were comfortably seated, they both said: 'I'm starving.' They laughed and raised for the fridge. Only after their second chicken sandwich, almost to close to the fire, enjoying the warmth of the whisky down their throats, it all came back to them. 

The awkwardness of breaking up and getting together again. 

Arthur leaned into Merlin, till their foreheads touched. 

He said; "I am so, so very sorry. Will you forgive me?"

Merlin looked into the eyes he loved so very much; "Can you forgive me?"

Slow and tender they kissed. Again they sealed their love. 

In between, their lips close, Arthur asked; "No more secrets?"

Merlin hesitated. 

"I can't promise that. Being a magician comes with the burden of visions, foreseeing and predictions. Most of the times I don't know what they mean. When I do, I will share them with you. But, I promise no more personal secrets. Anything that involves you, I will tell you." Arthur nodded. "That's good enough. I think I understand." 

Merlin sighed. "That's why I wanted you to ride a dragon." Arthur raised his eyebrows. "I keep having dreams, foreseeing you riding Kilgharrah. I have no idea how to interpret that, but as it keeps coming back, it might be important." "Well", Arthur smiled, "that's not a bad future. I liked riding the dragon." Merlin grinned and let his worries about the rest of his vision go for now. He asked with a smirk on his face; "How about me?" It took only a moment for Arthur to understand. "That's what I foresee in the nearest future, about to happen now!" He put Merlin on his back on the blankets, ripped his t-shirt off and started to kiss him all over his body. 

The fire in the hearth was long extinguished before theirs was. 

Without confessing to each other, for both, it was their first-night proper sleep since they broke up. 

At some point, that lazy Sunday, Arthur came out of his working room. His hair a mess, red cheeks and watering eyes. He held a bunch of papers in his hand. "I want to share one of my best-kept secrets with you." Merlin stopped reading. 

They had slept in very late and snuggled and kissed and showered and made love again. To his own surprise, Arthur texted the Camelot crew to back off today since they 'had love to make'. After an egg-rich brunch, Arthur worked in his music room and Merlin sat on the couch to read more about foreseeing dreams and magic. His visions had become more frequent and frightening. 

Arthur put the papers on his lap. "What is it? You wrote a piece of music, mister conductor?" He nodded. "Yep. I finished it last week, so something good comes out of that horrible time. And it's about us." Merlin rushed through the music sheets. Every now and then he hummed some lines. "Nice melodies. But it's way too much to read in one time, so tell me about it." "I would call it a semi-opera, maybe a classical musical, or an operatorium, whatever. It is about King Arthur in love with his magician Merlin." He beamed. "It's heavily influenced by Haendel and Bach but I feel it has also a definite Pendragon style. "Look here", he pointed at the first sheets, "it opens in the middle of a war and ends with the coronation of two kings." From what Merlin read, it looked amazing. "But, who will play you?" "I will, of course", he beamed at Merlin. "Wow", Merlin smiled, "I love it. So", he read through the sheets, "the duet at the end will be ours?" Arthur nodded intensely. "The only problem is to get this scribbling into the system." "No, it is not." Merlin concentrated on the pile of papers. He mumbled and waved with his hands. Slowly his eyes turned gold. Arthur, as always, was mesmerized by the sight of it. After a minute, the sheets of paper started to rustle. On Arthur's knees, a neat pile of printed sheet music appeared. "Please close your mouth", Merlin grinned when he was finished. "It takes me hours to get it in a program", he shouted and smiled gracefully at Merlin. "That gives me plenty of time to thank you properly." He threw himself on his lover and the rest was moaning and groaning, messy and sticky. Naked and wet and panting they laid on the couch, holding each other. They decided a nap would be fine. 

It turned out not to be the best decision for Merlin. Immediately he found himself facing Arthur's death in a dark and unfamiliar setting. He woke up, shouting and crying, feeling desperately alone. Arthur had to hold him with all his force to convince him he wasn't dead. "But it was so real and, and, awful", he sobbed, "I cannot lose you again."Arthur caressed him gently. "I will not die again on you", he whispered in his ear, "I promise." They just sat there, holding each other, till Merlin calmed down. Finally, Arthur raised to get Merlin a blanket. He lit the fire and made them some tea. 

Later that evening, he was comfortably leaning to Arthur's strong shoulders, both contemplatively watching the flames, Merlin almost dozed off. Dressed in a jogging suit, though it was a Gucci, Morgana burst in. Pale as a pearl. Her hair was a mess. She wore no makeup, had reddened eyes and she was still sobbing. They both raised. Arthur had her before she collapsed in his arms. Following her was Balinor with a concerned expression on his face and Mordred, calm as ever. It took a while before Morgana restrained herself and they all were seated. Arthur held hands with her as she was sitting between him and Merlin. "Now tell me Morgs, what happened?" "Dreams", she exclaimed. Immediately Merlin felt his magic urgently tinkle. "I didn't sleep for nights", she whispered hoarsely, "I had the same dream over and over again." She clung herself to Arthur and sobbed: "You were dying, but only all the time." Arthur exchanged looks with Merlin. Both Balinor and Mordred nodded when Merlin's eyes asked them wordlessly. 

So, it was four of them, having the same foreseeing dream repeatedly. Obviously, there was a threat and probably in the near future as well. Mordred cleared his throat. "When you carefully listen to each dream, Arthur is dying or almost dying in different ways. Following that thought, there are different futures possible and I think that's reassuring." They all watched the boy. He had spoken softly, but confident. No trace of panic or fear. Morgana listened with a frown on her forehead. Merlin sighed and said: "It is confusing but for now let us hold on to the reassurance." The silence lingered on. 

"Well", Arthur said, "what're we gonna do about it?" "First thing in the morning we should have a meeting", Merlin answered, already texting in the CMHP app. "Good, that's good", Arthur said, "and that includes you", he pointed at Mordred. "Duh", Mordred said and went to bed after kissing Morgana. "And let's be alert 24/7." Arthur nodded. "I've texted the boys and Cedric and Iseldir. We can all take shifts and," "But only with at least Merlin or me involved", interrupted Balinor, "it is again not only swords that can defend us." "and Gaius will join us too", Arthur finished. 

After that, Merlin looked for a relaxing potion for Morgana and he put her in their bed. The kitten came out of nowhere and curled up against her breast. He left the door open and went to his study. He had a lot of work to do this night. 


	27. The end of the beginning (part one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some minutes, the gold vanished and the box with the crystals closed.  
> Leaving Merlin with a new disturbing view of the near future. 
> 
> That's because you changed the future. Again.

At the end of his last shift that night, Arthur found Cedric on the stage checking a huge amount of craters. They were filled with sleeping bags, blankets, water, firewood and other supplies. "What is this?" He frowned. Cedric shrugged and waved his hands in the air. "I am not sure actually, but I felt the urge to bring in supplies for, er, in case of eh." He frowned, looked at Arthur and said to his own surprise; "evacuation?" They both stared at each other. Then Cedric went on and Arthur left, shaking his head in disbelief and worry. 

Outside an autumn storm roared and rain poured heavily. 

After a quick shower, he walked to his office to check his mail before the meeting. Merlin would take care of Mordred and Morgana and would have a word with Cedric. As soon as he opened his laptop, Percival phoned to tell him there was a visitor at the entrance who would like to see Arthur. He looked into his agenda, no appointments today. "Who is it?" In a few seconds, Percival said: Someone called Agravaine." Arthur gasped. He had no magic, he could not foresee, but he had his gut and the totally unexpected visit of his uncle was like an omen to him. It gave him shivers up to his spine. When he finally exhaled, he said to Percival; "He is family but please take all the security measures before you escort him to my office. And, Percival, take your time." He sat at his desk, pensive. Then he texted Morgana and Merlin; Agravaine is here. Help is appreciated." 

Thunder and lightning overrode the storm and the rain, 

"Wait. What?" Merlin pointed to the stuff at the stages and looked at Cedric. "I don't know but I always follow my instincts." He gazed at Merlin. "I dreamt the other night. I didn't think much of it till you guys texted me. And coming from a family of druids, I know it when a dream is not just another nightmare." Merlin nodded, still unpleasantly surprised. "You too", he mumbled. Reading Arthur's text he left Cedric to it and went upstairs. On his way up he searched the internet for Agravaine Pendragon and found the usual gossip stuff. But he learned also this Agravaine was a minister of some old worldwide religion. He was specialized in exorcism. Nice bloke, Merlin thought. He quickly texted Gaius, just in case. He met Morgana at the hall and they entered Arthur's office, soon followed by Gaius and Balinor. Merlin immediately spotted the sweat on Arthur's upper lip. Why would Arthur be nervous for an old family member? Morgana hugged him and said; "Why just now?" Arthur sighed and responded; "Exactly." Merlin raised his eyebrows. "Who is he?" "Arthur said; "He is my uncle. I hated him as a child. Never seen him again. He was in with Uther on the crusade against sorcery, because of his religion."

When Parcival brought Agravaine in, Merlin knew he was bad news. His magic dropped down to a disturbingly low level and all of a sudden he felt chilly. "May the peace of God be with you", Agravaine started. "Cut the crap Uncle", Arthur snapped, "What're you doing here? We are about to start a staff meeting." "Just wanted to see my family", the man smiled humbly. Merlin saw a snake in that fake smile. He shook that image off. "Why now? After all these years?" "I was in the neighbourhood and wanted to invite you to a gathering in the cathedral tonight." Arthur nodded. "Thanks but no thanks. Parcival will see you out." Merlin thought for a split second he saw his mask dropping before he politely bowed and said goodbye. Standing in the doorway he turned and looked at Merlin. 

Lightning struck three times when he squealed: "He is the devil." 

Percival simply lifted him with one hand and carried him downstairs. 

"What do we know about your uncle?" Gaius asked with a clear urgency in his eyes. Arthur shrugged his shoulders. "I haven't seen him for more than ten years. We hated him as a child. His religion is close to insanity." "And he loves physical punishment", Morgana whispered. She looked sad into the eyes of her brother. "I am sorry", Gaius said and put a hand on their shoulders. 

Balinor cleared his throat, "He is a threat." 

They all looked at him. "Are you going....", Arthur started. Balinor slowly shook his head. "I wish, but he has millions of followers all over the world, they would react like an army."

From one of his pockets, something chimed. Merlin's face paled. He exclaimed; "The triangle!"

"You mean Agravaine, Morgause and Nimueh?" Gaius asked. 

_You are right, young warlock, I was about to warn you_. Merlin nodded. "I just got it confirmed by Kilgharrah."

"Than we have no other choice", Arthur said, looking forward to getting into the action, "we have to hunt them down and make an end to it." "No", both Morgana and Merlin shouted. "It will be the last thing you do and we will all lose." Arthur frowned and clenched his fists. "But I have to protect my friends, maybe even protect London. Don't stop me if I can help them." Merlin took some steps, their faces were only inches apart, he shouted: "You can't, you stubborn prat, not in this way. Trust me, for once." At that moment the rest of the Camelot gang started to enter one by one and they stopped their argument. 

Merlin informed them when they were seated. They listened to him all with a serious expression on their face. He stood still, except for his hands. He let his eyes rest on each and every one. His voice was steady, strong and calm. They felt he was totally in charge of everything, even Arthur was about to believe him and felt reassured and proud of this man he loved so very much. He ended; "So were are not going to chase them, it is of no use. We are, however, going to defend us. With one more triangle on top of what we have already. It will be one of a special kind of magic from the dragonlords, Balinor, Mordred and I. To them it will be another wall they have to break through." _Smart._ Merlin chuckled. _Sorry, but at the moment I think it is best if I stay in your head and in your neighbourhood_. Merlin nodded and said: "I am in direct contact with Kilgharrah and he is close by."

"Now, let us make some space to install our fifth triangle."

They cleared the floor and automatically formed a circle, hand in hand. The spontaneous gesture touched Merlin. His confidence grew. 

He put the crystals in the middle and made a circle of fire around it. In total silence, he drew a triangle on the floor with chalk and wrote some old runes on the floor. The moment Balinor, Mordred and he stepped on their end of the triangle the chalk became white light. With his mighty voice, he spoke in the old language. Balinor and Mordred answered him. His eyes shone as gold as they had never been. The crystals obeyed and encircled the three of them with waves of gold. After some minutes, the gold vanished and the box with the crystals closed. Leaving Merlin with a new disturbing view of the near future. 

_That's because you have changed the future. Again._

His friends sighed, because of the whole situation, because of the spectacle they viewed together and because of the bonding by this ritual. 

"This triangle is different", Merlin spoke. "We have to maintain it, constantly. Our magic will help us, together with some potions, your mental support and a lot of coffee", he ended lightly with a beaming smile on his face. 

They all applauded to lose some of the tension and hugged each other. Iseldir went downstairs to collect the food and drinks his staff delivered. It was enough to feed the whole neighbourhood. Drinking and eating, they talked about the threat, the possibilities, the choices, the danger. No one, not even Merlin, knew what they were talking about. 

Outside it was getting dark as night. The thunderstorm got stronger every minute. 


	28. The end of the beginning (part two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He let it sink in.  
> Some shook their heads in disbelief, some cried, others just stayed silence with fear in their eyes.  
> "Even with our magic, we can only stop them for a little time",  
> he continued.  
> "But we have a chance!"  
> Arthur locked eyes with him.

After a short meeting with Gaius and Arthur, Merlin talked to the group about their emergency plan. "No one is allowed to go outside of the Camelot Music Hall, without permission of me." 

They sighed but nodded in approval. After all, it was for their own safety.

"And if you have permission to go out, there should be at least three of you and one magician. In fact, you should not even be alone in a room in this building." 

In crises, Merlin was a born leader. Reassuring but directive. 

The next thing he did was giving out practical tasks, to keep people responsible and busy. Arthur's office would be their control room. Their home, at the top of the building, would be the place to eat and drink. 

At some point, when the thunderstorm reached its peak, Merlin hesitated. 

He heard a shriek far away in his head, a desperate shriek. 

He shivered. 

He fell silent.

He froze, together with Balinor and Mordred. Morgana, Hunith and Alice collapsed. Freya shouted hysterically. Gaius stood still, with his eyes closed, tears went down his cheeks. The rest screamed. Arthur held his now numb and rigid Merlin as close as he could and was about to panic. 

Merlin was floating on air. It was all clouds and mist around him. Time didn't exist anymore. It felt warm. fuzzy and comfortable. Kilgharrah drifted to him. They didn't need words. There was only love and admiration. They were observant without any judgement. Connecting ages of wisdom. Observing the changes that were possible in the future and totally embracing it. Merlin opened fully to Kilgharrah. All of his magic, of millions of years, he gave it freely to Merlin. 

_I need only that much of my magic for what little space of life is left ahead of me. So I give you all. Trust me all the way._

Merlin would trust him. With his life. 

He woke up, gasping for breath in the strong arms of Arthur. Tender and intense, he kissed him. Then he restrained himself. The others recovered one by one and they all looked at a beaming, glowing Merlin. He had changed, for all to see. It had only been minutes but he had matured in a beautiful way. Wiser, stronger. Even his movements were confident and more elegant. Arthur couldn't take his eyes off of him. 

"The veil between life and death are torn", he said. "Morgause and Agravaine sacrificed Nimueh to open it. It will only be a matter of time before the death and the undeath will escape and hunt us down." 

He let it sink in. Some shook their heads in disbelief, some cried, others just stayed silence with fear in their eyes. "Even with our magic, we can only stop them for a little time", he continued. "But we have a chance!" Arthur locked eyes with him.

After a long time, Arthur looked at them all in the eyes. "We have a chance, as long as you do what Merlin and I tell you to do, as long as you trust us, completely." Merlin walked up to Arthur and said: "I trust you with my life." Arthur blinked. "And I trust you with my life." And then he shouted: "For the love of Camelot!" They all repeated it, several times and more. New energy entered their hearts. "Now let's prepare to evacuate", Merlin shouted. "Where are you taking us?" Gaius asked. "You'll see", Merlin responded confidently, although he had no idea whatsoever.

Outside it was pitch black. In between the thunder, hail and wind, they could hear horrifying screeches. The lights flickered. 

"Do you have torches?" Merlin shouted to Cedric. "On my way", and Cedric ran, together with Gwaine and Elyan.

"Please get your things as quickly as you can and come back here. And light a torch, it's the only thing they're afraid of." They all went hastily. With Arthur, he ran to the stage and secured all the craters and things with his magic one by one. They ran to their home. Arthur grabbed Excalibur and his latest written music. Merlin took his emergency bag. Mordred was in his room and filled a bag with warm clothes, his kitten in his neck and put on his favourite boots. They ran back. The building was full of their friends, running and shouting. The power was down. Only the light of the torches was seen, together with big black moving shadows. Not only the wind was lurching at the windows. Every now and then, there was an unnatural squealing. Escaped creatures from behind the veil were trying to get through the layers of magic around Camelot. Looking out of the windows, he only saw darkness. Merlin didn't know how long they were safe in here. And what would happen when they went outside? 

_Don't! Evacuate them to the cave. I'll fight the demons until you are safe. I will meet you there._

Of course. The cave. No evil creature would be able to go there. A safe place to hide and make plans on how to close the veil. He felt a sudden burst of new energy, of hope. 

Within a half an hour, they were all back in Arthur's office, panting, anxious and looking like nomads. Percival and Gwaine came up to Arthur. "Sire", Percival started, "there are people outside, banging on the doors of Camelot Music Hall. Crying for help. People are dying out there." Arthur sighed and looked at Merlin. They both smiled a little and nodded almost unnoticeable. 

"Listen closely", Merlin said to his friends. "We're going to evacuate. Stand close together, close your eyes and hold on to your belongings." He concentrated, waved his hands, spoke words in the old language and focussed on the images in his head of the cave. With only the feeling of a light breeze, he got them all together in one time at the vast space underneath Camelot. They were as shocked as well as excited. When they got over it he said: "Stay away from the platform. That's were Kilgharrah will appear later on. Stay here in the middle. I'll be right back." He held hands with Balinor and Cenred and shifted to the stage in the Music Hall. Cenred told them what was in it and one by one Balinor and Merlin let them disappear. They shifted back from the dark Music Hall to the Cave. All the craters were neatly packed at the walls. He gave orders to make a fire in the middle, to unpack the craters. "Make places to sleep. Start in the back of these series of connected caves, all the way to this central one." He pointed his hands to some of the craters, he eyes flashed gold for a moment. "When a crater is empty, it will refill itself, according to your needs. Arthur and his knights will help you organise it all. There is water in the back, from the spring. I will get the people in. Help them. There might be people who need medical care." Gaius nodded. He would prepare a place for the wounded. Merlin went away with Balinor and Mordred, leaving them behind with a rush of activity. 

At the dark entry, Merlin made a light. The three of them carefully lifted a part of the magic, just enough to let the first people in. To his surprise, most of them were stoic, some were silently crying, almost apathetic. That's what fear of these dimensions can do to humans. Some were carrying wounded loved ones. On the streets, he saw dead bodies, stiff and cold. With a few words and his hands, he made a kind of tunnel to the cave, a magical entry so it wouldn't be a threat to the protection. He let them enter in small groups of ten or twelve people. There were hundreds of people, a lot with familiar faces from the neighbourhood. When there was no living soul around they carefully closed Camelot and the tunnel and shifted back to the crowded cave. 

It looked like a small village now. People were making themselves comfortable everywhere. Cenred and Iseldir were boiling water on the blazing fire for coffee and tea, Morgana, back to her old self, and Freia organised the distribution of food and drinks. Arthur and the boys were helping people. Gwen, Hunith and Alice assisted Gaius in taking care of the wounded in a lower corner of the cave. Behind the dragon's nest was a wide ridge at a men's hight. Will was working there to make it the sleeping place for the Camelot crew. It was a good choice, it was central and once you were up, you could see all that was going on in the cave. After some hours, the wounded were taken care off. Everyone had found a place and was nourished. They were sitting or laying down, softly talking or napping. Merlin stood on the dragon's nest and with his mighty voice, he spoke: "I am Merlin. You are all welcome here, you are all safe with us." He waited, for the sound of his voice echoed and drifted to the farthest corner. They all fell silent. "Please tell us when you need anything. Let me introduce you to the Camelot staff." With a wave of his hand and a grin on his face, he changed the clothes of the boys into chain mail and that of the women into clothes of the Arthurian time. They shouted for the surprise, but could well appreciate the joke. Besides, it was practical, so people would know who to ask things. "Now, in a moment my big friend Kilgharrah will be here." _On my way._ "Don't be afraid, he is only a dragon and will protect us." People were shocked, but only shortly. Where could they go? 

With a cup of coffee and some bread, the Camelot crew was seated on their ridge when, with a loud bang, Kilgharrah arrived. He looked tired and hurt. His shining colours were now a paler shade of grey. But his eyes were friendly and vivid as ever. People were gasping and shook their heads as if to shake off a dream. _I see you still take care of people_. _And Arthur and his knights back in shining armour._ Merlin chuckled. Arthur asked; "My dear friend Kilgharrah, are you wounded?" Merlin's eyes flashed gold for a brief moment so everyone would be able to understand Kilgharrah. "Thank you, Sire, for asking. My body will heal itself. Once my energy is back, the grey colour will disappear." "Good, that's good", Arthur said. "Can you tell us what is going on outside?" The dragon sighed. "The evil death and the undeath, as well as evil monsters have escaped through the veil. Agravaine and Morgause are still powerful and they control them in a way. They are looking for you, Arthur, and for any magician to kill. But in the meantime, they kill every human being." They fell silent. Mordred went down to the dragon's nest, leant into his face and gently caressed his nose and stared in one of his big eyes. He whispered; "You have weakened. Maybe you should ask Merlin to heal you." The dragon lowered his voice and said: "Thank you, my lord, for the suggestion, but I am fine." He climbed back to Merlin and said in an unusual commanding voice: "Heal him because he is lying." Merlin looked into the serious eyes of Mordred. Then he scanned the dragon's body and knew immediately, Mordred was right, so he healed him as good as he could. Before the eyes of his friends, the dragon got back his shining colours. He bowed gratefully. "I should have known better than to ly to a dragonlord." "Dear Kilgharrah", Gaius said, "the veil is torn. What can we do? We certainly cannot hide in here forever." The dragon turned his head to Gaius and said: "Dear old friend of mine, indeed, the veil is torn. You should find a way to repair it. They sacrificed Nimueh to open it." 

He gazed at Merlin; "It will take one more death to close it." 


	29. The end or the beginning?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What?" Merlin shouted. 
> 
> Then he lost all connection to Arthur. His inner eye was pitch black. 
> 
> _You have a price to pay_....
> 
> The dragon's voice was no more than a whisper. 
> 
> "What price? What for?" Merlin was pale, sweating for fear. He panicked. His legs trembled. Gaius and Hunith held him upright. Gaius said in his ear; "The price for changing the future, my dear boy."

They couldn't take it in. this dreadful message. Arthur walked down on his own, a pensive look on his face. He put some blocks on the fire and poured himself a coffee. One by one they all walked away from the dragon. To do chores, to attend the wounded. They needed time to fully comprehend what they just heard. To think about it or to just get distracted from it. 

Merlin stayed on the ridge. Hunith had brought him her special coffee. Kilgharrah put his head on the ridge. Merlin leaned in on him and sighed. _You know and yet you don't kno_ w? "I know, you know, but I still don't know." _Look at us talking in riddles if anyone could hear._ They both chuckled. "Tell me, Kilgharrah, what is a dragonlord without a dragon?" _A sorcerer without his magic, I think. But as long as there are dragonlords, there will be dragons._ "Are you saying dragons will be around, always and forever?" He didn't answer. So Merlin knew. They just sat together. Merlin was checking the spells all the time. He also checked with Mordred and Balinor for their triangle. They just looked at each other from a distance to know it was alright and immediately adjusted their powers if needed. It seemed hours passed by. People were moving around. The crew was starting to cook enormous portions of stew, with the supervision of Iseldir and Cenred. People were offering help and cutting things for the salad or getting water from the well. 

In the meantime, Merlin constantly looked for Arthur. He was pacing around, every now and then he gave a smile to people passing by or said a friendly, reassuring word. But he was brooding, Merlin knew him too well. He knew better than to talk to him now. When Arthur locked eyes with him from a distance, he would look back indifferently, giving him time and space, no pressure. Mordred climbed up to him and handed him some fresh cold water. He leaned into him and said; "I know there are danger and problems, but somehow, I like being here together." Merlin nodded. "I understand. When we're in trouble, we connect so much better." Waiting for the food to be ready, Gwen and other musicians tuned their instruments. When they started to play the first notes of Erbarme Dich, Mordred jumped. "Shall I?"He beamed at Merlin. "Sure, go ahead." Standing on the ridge, in the natural acoustics of the cave, he performed his most beautiful rendition ever. And his last. 

It was a balm for the soul to everyone. 

After dinner and the cleanup, everything quieted down. The crew did their last things for the night and climbed up to their ridge. Finally, Arthur came up. He had a calm and determined expression on his face, Merlin knew all too well. He went straight for Merlin. Next to the dragon's head and right in front of him, he fell on one knee. 

He cleared his throat: "After all this, er, is.....over. Will you marry me?" 

Merlin gasped, the crew shouted. This was not what he expected. 

A warmth filled his chest. He reached for Arthur's hand and raised him. He kissed him gently on his lips and said: "Yes, oh yes." _Finally! This is the only true meaning of the two sides of a coin._ They all applauded and congratulated them. They shed some tears for joy. Hunith hugged Arthur and said: "Welcome to our family. I love you already as my son." 

After that, Arthur stood and looked around. "As we know, there is only one way to close the veil." They all fell silent. "And I am going to close it." They all gasped for breath. Morgana cried: "Hell no, you are not." Even Gaius protested. Mordred hugged Arthur and shouted: "Merlin, tell him not to go." People gathered around the ridge, as they heard them talking. 

Merlin raised his hand and everyone silenced. "You all know", he sighed, "you all know how much I love this man. Part of why I love him so much is because he will give his life for me. And I for him." His voice became a whisper; "When this is the only way to close the veil, so be it." A lot of noise started. People were discussing it, asked questions. The knights were volunteering. But both Arthur and Merlin didn't give in. Especially Merlin got a lot of angry looks. 

Then Kilgharrah's voice roared through the cave. "Dear people of Camelot. Please, be quiet. May I remind you of your promise earlier this day to trust any decision Merlin and Arthur would make, no matter what? So, trust them, be confident, give them hope instead of you invalid arguments." It was hard on them, but in the end, they all fell silent and slowly agreed to trust them. Except for Mordred and Morgana, they were in shock and utter disbelief. Gaius tried to comfort them. Since he knew all about prophecies and destiny. And, he believed in the wisdom of Merlin. 

Kilgharrah offered to bring Arthur. It was the only way he would have a chance to get to the isle of the blessed alive. 

Arthur put his hand in Merlin's neck. "You know I love you?" Merlin nodded. "I do. There is nothing I am surer of." "I have to go", he said. "I know. I do know." Merlin put his hands on Arthur's face. "Come back and I'll marry you." Arthur smiled, his eyes lit up. "I promise", he whispered, "I'll come back."They let their foreheads touch. "Keep in touch with me", Merlin said, tears on his cheeks, "all the way." Arthur whispered: "How?" "Your love for me will know." 

And then they parted. 

Together with Balinor and Mordred, Merlin held their triangle. He felt no trace of Kilgharrah but he could feel Arthur. _I have closed the veil. I am gone now. Our connection will be getting weaker. Arthur is safe, for now, but he needs your help_. Merlin gasped and felt a tear escape his eyes. He had no time to feel grateful nor to grief on the loss of his friend. "Gaius", he shouted. He raised from the fireplace, where he comforted Morgana. "Yes, my boy, what is it?" He lowered his voice and asked his uncle; "I need the potion to be able to see where Arthur is." Gaius frowned. "Are you sure? You already use all your power to keep this place safe and to hold the triangle." "Just do it Gaius", Merlin snapped. Gaius raised both his eyebrows and bowed. "I have to ask Hunith if she has some on her." Merlin blinked for a moment, but then he briefly nodded. 

He staggered when the potion kicked in. In his head, a lightness appeared, without distracting him. Hunith and Gaius stood next to him. Just in case. Grinding his teeth, he said; "Where is he? Arthur, where are you?" Then he saw him. As if through a lens, from far away. Blurred but he could see him. He appeared to be wounded but safe, for the moment. He had no doubt, Morgause and Agravaine would be hunting for him. He let a translucent blue sphere appear right in front of him. Arthur looked at it, suspicious. Merlin closed his eyes and let his love flow to Arthur. At the same moment, Arthur put his hand on his heart and tilted his head, as if he was listening. Then he followed the sphere, off the stairs into the dark of the tower. 

_When the stairs stop................there is secret door........_

Kilgharrahs voice sounded from a distance, faint. Dragons could die if they choose to. Once they crossed the line, the veil, there was no returning. Slowly their energy would no longer be felt. 

"Gaius, do you know a secret door under one of the towers of Avalon?" Gaius nodded. "There is, my boy. The number 7 is involved. _Seven from the floor, seven to the left, seven up high and seven diagonal to the right opens your door_ , he recited. The first one is easy since it is marked." Merlin nodded. Once Arthur took the last step, he let the sphere find the marked stone. Arthur put his hand next to the sphere. It tinkled 7 to the left, up high and diagonal to the right. Arthur put his hand on the stone and pushed. It slumped back. Arthur jumped. Three black snakes left the opening, hissing, but went for the stairs. "They attack only evil", Gaius said. Merlin shot an angry look at him. The wall started moving, The sphere sneaked behind it, soon followed by Arthur. 

_It's a one way door........no turning back._

_Leads to Camelot............ through the waterfall._

Merlin startled. "Camelot? It's no longer existing. Where will it lead him?"

Gaius raised both his eyebrows, his eyes widened. "Of course", he mumbled, "of course."

"What?" Merlin shouted. 

Then he lost all connection to Arthur. His inner eye was pitch black. 

_You have a price to pay_....

The dragon's voice was no more than a whisper. 

"What price? What for?" Merlin was pale, sweating for fear. He panicked. His legs trembled. Gaius and Hunith held him upright. Gaius said in his ear; "The price for changing the future, my dear boy."

 _...tunnel..........water......Camelot.......fifteen hundred years back_.... _meet you...._

That was the last he heart from Kilgharrah. 

Merlin couldn't speak anymore. His eyes were wide with fear from what he heart and for the fear of losing Arthur. Gaius put him on the ridge of the now empty dragon's nest, close to the fire. He took his hands and tried to calm him down. It didn't work.

He slapped him in the face. 

Merlin came out of shock, tears streaming down his cheeks. Gaius locked eyes with him. "Merlin. Now, of all times, you should trust yourself." Merlin sobbed and nodded slowly. "But, but, what does it all mean?" Hunith hugged him and kissed him on his head. Morgana busted in, crying, shouting: "He is dead, isn't he? You killed him!" Balinor grabbed her and together with Elyon they dragged her away. When Merlin looked up through his tears, Mordred was standing a few yards away, pale white, with squinted black eyes. the boy walked up to Merlin and said: "I feel Kilgharrah is dead. Not Arthur", and then he leaned on Merlin till their heads touched. "I'll tell Morgana." Merlin smiled. He restrained himself. He should focus on what he knew indeed. Kilgharrah sacrificed his life to close the veil and to save Arthur. 

"When changing the future", Gaius said, "as you did many times, there is a price to pay, to keep the balance." Merlin nodded. "Tell me it isn't Arthur's life." Gaius smiled and shook his head. "No, it is not. That I am sure of. Only the price, I think, is much higher. Now, what did Kilgharrah tell you, before he crossed?" Merlin said: Tunnel. Waterfall. Camelot, er, fifteen hundred years back, meet you. That was the last he said. 

Then it dawned on Merlin. "You mean", he started, "no, it can't be, can it?" 

Gaius just nodded. 


	30. Epilogue

The next morning, all the people in the cave and Arthur, woke up in Camelot. Back in time about fifteen hundred years. Camelot was still Camelot, as they remembered it. 

Although things had changed, in order to create a different future.

Arthur married Merlin. He became the first male King's Consort. Gwen married Lancelot. Gwaine married Percival. Morgana became Arthur's first advisor in a newly formed council and married Elyon. No need to say, Arthur and Merlin, became the favourite uncles to all the children who were born. Alice and Gaius lived for some happy years in his old rooms, close to the King. Mordred founded a school for musicians. The laws on magic were banished and magicians, sorcerers and druids were free to live. Hunith and Iseldir organised a new library to preserve all knowledge for the future. Will became a knight and lived together with Freya. Cenred reunited with his family in Essetir and played a key role in the peace of Albion. Balinor stayed at Camelot as a personal advisor of Merlin and took place in the council and continued his mission to seek and destroy any evil. 

Within days, their memories faded and they adjusted to the medieval situation of Camelot, although, as told already, the circumstances were changed, for the better.

In the long run. 

The end was a beginning. 

None of their devices came with them, they were not invented in that era. One by one even their musical instruments faded away, as did the melodies in their heads. Mordred forgot a lot of his knowledge, although he stayed ahead of his time. After years, Arthur found his own written piece of music. He couldn't remember writing it, he couldn't read it. So they stored it in the library. I still hope, maybe one day it will be found. 

Kilgharrah was the only one to know, as dragons do know everything. When the time was right, he would tell. Or not. 

One day, at a spring cleaning, in the dungeons of Camelot, they found a golden box with two dragon eggs. Balinor and Mordred, as true dragonlords, could raise their own dragons. So Uther, unwillingly, played a role in changing the future, since the eggs were robbed by him, in his quest to destroy all dragons. 

With King Arthur, the once and future King, Albion finally found peace in the five kingdoms. Every Kingdom had its own magician, trained by Merlin. And of course, foreign countries tried to conquer Albion. Disasters happened and sometimes evil tried to ruin the peace. In the end, no one knew what had happened to Agravaine and Morgause. But that is of all ages and of all stories. 

Every change made in this new beginning rippled through to today. 

When you change the future, you must be willing to relive the past. Not many do. In more than one way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back in April 2019, I started telling this merthurian fanfiction story. And hell, I really liked it, all the way. It kept me going, although it also kept me awake several nights. It is truly fun to rewrite history. Writing is fun. Whatever I write. After this quest (I love to brag and drama) I am ready to get on with an unfinished story, that is, if I remember how to write in Dutch :-). My writer's heart needed this break, and boy have I recovered and learned from it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, thank you for your Kudo's. For the love of Camelot, I say farewell. Maarten Smit


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